Quick disclaimer: I rarely had more than little waves of nausea while pregnant. Before you hate me, I want to tell you that my observation, backed up by multiple studies at the National Institutes of Health (or, maybe not), is that those with easy pregnancies often have difficult deliveries, and vice versa. Does that make you feel better? I'll wait while you run to the bathroom… poor you.
Okay.
But I have some strategies for you to cope with morning sickness, and some tips. With my admittedly scant experience and surveys of truly morning sick friends, this post will help.
The main issue is how to feel a little better — but also, how to feed everyone when you feel lousy.
The solution to this two-horned problem: Plain Cooking.
As I see it, we have these levels of morning sickness [quietly revising my numbers since I got them backwards the first time, in my usual scatterbrain way]:
Defcon 5: You are still on Pinterest and can manage to layer dips, garnish salads with edible flowers harvested from your garden, and handle recipes embedded in other recipes. You can stomach the sight of raw chicken. You are not particularly too tired to have a garden. Good for you! We'll be over for supper.
Defcon 4: You walk rather fast past the chicken case at the grocery store. A dish of squid you mistakenly ate in week 9 has put you off squid forever. Never again will you eat squid. You can barely type the word. Your family wonders why chicken has disappeared from the menu, although some of them aren't sad about this (and they are four). Ways to make ground beef are paling, but you're sticking with it. As long as the 5-year-old keeps you supplied with Nerds, you are going to make it. By week 20 you are feeling okay as long as you have one nap a day. (This may or may not have been me. At my worst. I said I was sorry.) You're doing fine, really.
Defcon 3: Dragging from sofa to bed, bed to sofa, barfing along the way. Wishing you had the energy to strangle the next person to tell you to drink ginger ale. Here is where perhaps we can be of help.
First let's look at how to feed your family in this case.
I think rules are in order, don't you? Thinking/understanding is so hard when you are morning sick. Three warm-up rules and then on to Plain Cooking.
Rule 1: Get the medical part of it squared away. Have your blood tested for iron. Your prenatal pill's iron is probably not enough. Take your Floridix (or these easily swallowed, reasonably sized pills if you don't think you can handle swallowing the liquid). Iron can worsen nausea but so can feeling extremely draggy. Just try to take it later in the day when you've eaten something (non-dairy).
If you can eat red meat or liver, do. Try my liver paté — maybe someone can make it for you — if you can handle it, and you might find that you actually crave it if you are iron deficient. Liver + prunes = iron and a little help with consequent digestive issues. There are combinations of vitamins that can help you — ask your midwife. But above all, don't get anemic on top of everything else.
There are safe medications for morning sickness. Many ladies swear by the Vitamin B6 plus Unisom combination. You need to bring it up with the doctor — we've heard too many stories of ladies needing IV fluids more than once — yet the doctor still doesn't bring up medical relief. Getting that dehydrated is far worse for baby than taking the (safe!) medication!
Rule 2: Rest. You are making a baby. That's pretty important and amazing. If this is not your first child, you are making a sibling for your other child(ren) — the best gift you will ever give them, besides your marriage. You don't have to do anything else for them in the way of activities, entertainment, etc., and not only will your kids survive, they will thrive, because they will do all the things. You will see. When you can't, they will.
Sometimes I think this is obvious, to rest — but then I see ladies running around and realize that unless you have my voice in your head, you might not know that you can just go lie down. (But if you literally can't move, you might be anemic — see #1.)
Remember, you might not look all that pregnant, and thus you might feel like a real scrub for feeling bad, but all the hard work of making fingers and toes is taking place right now! No wonder you can't cope!
If “the others” are only 18 months old, then yes, it's tricky to have to check out, but you'd be surprised how little an 18-month-old needs. If you are skeptical, remember this anecdote a friend once told me when I was lamenting a bout of sickness where I felt incapacitated. She said, “Once I was so sick and no one was there to help me. I basically lay on the sofa and held out a banana. The [little] kids ran around in circles in the living room, stopping as they passed for a bite.” I don't know how much lower the bar can be, so just think of that and congratulate yourself for holding it together.
Get a fence and let the kids run around outside. When people ask what you need, tell them you need a fence.
Rule 3: When you can do something, try to do it fast. It's better to do something really quickly and then go back to the sofa than to move slowly for a long period of time. Train yourself to think beforehand what the fastest way to do any particular thing might be, and then do it that way. A sweet, severely morning sick reader to whom I wrote this thought commented:
Thank you so much for that advice. It was actually more helpful than you may realize because I can be a sort of “slow to get moving” type of girl. The reminder to work quickly when able is most applicable.
Rule 4: Familiarize yourself with Plain Cooking. When you are able, just cook the food. Do not Pinterest it, do not Julia-Child it.
Everything is fine with butter and salt.
Cooked meat lasts a couple of days in the fridge and cooked vegetables last for longer than that.
Boil or bake potatoes. Heck, microwave them. I laughed when I saw a New York Times article about “the right way to bake a potato.” There is literally nothing easier than baking a potato. Put butter and salt on it when it's done. You're good.
Yes, there are entire cookbooks for how make chicken breasts interesting. But you can also get a pan, melt butter in it, throw the breasts in, cook them. Salt. Eat.
Roast a whole chicken. Just salt it and put it in the oven. Roast it for 15 minutes per pound. Take it out. Hack pieces off of it. Put it in the fridge. Take it out. Hack more pieces off of it. Repeat until nothing is left.
Put chuck roasts and pork shoulders in the slow cooker (I mean, not together) with some tomato paste and dried onion and salt. You don't need to add water to the pork. You can add a cup or two of water, wine, or broth to the beef. Cook until the meat is tender, 6 or so hours. If it's not tender, cook it some more. If you can't open a can of tomato paste, that's fine. It will be fine.
Get pork chops. Melt butter in a pan. Brown chops on one side. Turn over. Salt. Cover and cook on low heat for 8 minutes (depending on thickness). Eat.
Sometimes you need to know that you can open a jar of sauce: Boil pasta. Brown beef (add salt). Open jar of tomato sauce (store brand is fine). Pour over beef. Pour over pasta. Serve with parmesan cheese or even grated cheddar cheese.
Brown ground beef. Add dried minced onion and salt. Serve over potatoes. Put a dollop of sour cream on top if you want to be fancy.
Or put it in a tortilla. Anyone who can open the fridge can get some things to add to that.
Truly, a child can do any of these things. You only have to tell them about washing their hands and the counters with soap. If your child is too young, even your hard-working husband can take 10 minutes and do them. If necessary, you can give directions from the sofa.
Just think “meat, starch, vegetable, bread.” If all else fails, bread and cheese.
To get slightly more complicated in case the fog clears or someone is there to help:
You can serve BBQ sandwiches with the cooked meat. Leftover braised (as above, in the slow cooker) meat, BBQ sauce, rolls. Ground beef, BBQ sauce, potatoes. I think that Stubb's BBQ sauce is made with sugar, not high fructose corn syrup. Always have some of that handy, along with bulky rolls in the freezer.
Make a pot of rice and put your cooked meat and vegetables on top and tell a child to get the soy sauce.
Get a ham (have your husband pick it up for you — one with a bone, pre-sliced or not), bake it by throwing it in a pan with sides and the oven on 325º. In the same oven, put sweet potatoes on a baking tray covered with foil. (Do not omit the foil, because we don't want you scrubbing pans.)
Take the ham out, turn the oven up to 425º, continue to cook the sweet potatoes until they are oozing sugar. Boil some green beans.
(The picture is of the cold sweet potatoes. When they were cooking, they were spread out — on the foil — on a larger pan. Note how I stored them.)
Open the sweet potatoes and serve with butter and salt. Once you taste roasted sweet potatoes, you will love them. I literally made it through childhood without eating one green item, thanks to sweet potatoes.
Another day, have ham sandwiches — just bread, butter, and ham, fruit or pickles and chips on the side.
Another day, soup with the bone — pea soup couldn't be easier. Throw the peas with the bone into the slow cooker, add dried minced onion, two quarts of water. Salt at the end.
Another day, cook up some pasta and put the ham and green beans in the cooked pasta with butter and cheese.
Get these:
Mustard (just plain powdered mustard seed) and garlic powder make any meat taste fine if someone wants to add them to the pot.
If the defcon level can be downgraded:
Put that chicken carcass that's been picked clean in a pot. Throw your dried onion flakes in. Boil. Strain. Cook noodles in it, maybe a chopped up carrot (do the carrot pieces first). (When you get your onion flakes, also get a big container of dried parsley — shake some parsley in.) There you go. Lots of bread and butter.
Caesar salad: send someone out for a big package of Romaine lettuce, parmesan cheese, anchovies (really — you might find you crave this), and Italian bread. They could break Auntie Leila's rule this once and buy Caesar salad dressing, although it's just oil, vinegar, mustard, salt, and garlic (we'll leave the egg yolk out of it for now). Put the leftover chicken next to this salad and you're good to go.
The main thing– use your limited cooking time well. If you can do it, cook as big a roast or as many chicken parts as you can manage so that you can put some in the freezer. (Have plenty of ziploc freezer bags on hand to make this as easy as possible.)
Make a big pot of pasta, toss with olive oil. You can have many meals that are pasta, cheese, some pieces of meat, some vegetables. All of that has been in your fridge — just microwave. The same can be done with potatoes or rice.
Don't worry, you will get through this. Some day you will cook with recipes again. For now, just aim to have some cooked food on the table.
Some tips for actually quelling the nausea — and I realize that so far I've suggested liver and anchovies, but seriously, this could help:
You eat whatever you can eat. If that means pastries or ice cream or cheeseburgers or salted nuts, that's what you should eat. You need calories.
Do try to make it something with protein if you can. Yes, salty crackers can help, but you need to quickly follow up (or go straight to) cheese, yogurt, pieces of cooked meat, nuts. You might be able to eat a sharp, salty cheese like feta.
Your aim is to keep the blood sugar levels even, so eat — and drink — at frequent intervals.
Don't try to choke something down. We women have been conditioned to cling to the notion of salad as our one healthy option, but salad might not be for you right now. Suki's husband would leave half a peanut butter sandwich by her bedside. She would have a little milkshake (made by that excellent husband) right before supper so that she could eat supper — because getting too hungry spirals quickly. And eating cold things can help, so obviously ice cream is ideal.
Try not to smell the things. This makes the crockpot a bit more tricky, I realize. I haven't actually put my new Instant Pot to the test (it's on sale today, by the way!), but I think it would be better on that account.
On the other hand, Deirdre suggests sniffing a cut lemon — it helped her. I found that sniffing a tea bag helped me.
Sometimes you can eat if someone just puts it in front of you. Don't say you can't eat it until you really know for sure. Thinking about it might be worse than eating it. The time I was sickest, I couldn't stand to hear the words ham, broccoli, or cheese sauce, but when handed a plate of just that, I could eat it.
Whatever is the thing you can most see yourself eating, just serve that as simply as possible.
Magnesium and Vitamin D really help with feeling better, and magnesium is best absorbed through the skin. So a foot bath or actual bath with Epsom salts is soothing and actually delivers the magnesium — far better than in pill form. You can get a big bag at the drugstore.
Taking cod liver oil can help with the vitamin D. Yes, this is a two-edged sword for sure, and there are capsules. The issue is… burping. Deirdre suggests taking it before bed so you are asleep when you burp!
Something odd that might just work to quell the queasiness:
A few years back I read a post (sorry, the link is long gone from memory!) by a mom of many kids who got very sick every time — she said that the only thing she could eat was cooked beans. She would just make a pot of beans every few days and eat that. If you want to try it, white navy beans are very bland when cooked up (they don't smell too great when they are cooking, I'll grant you, but they are very mild once cooked). Try eating them with bread or rice for complete protein, and do add oil or butter, and salt.
Try cooking up a pot of red lentils (use twice as much water after rinsing them) with dried minced onion and salt. It's very tasty and doesn't take long.
I have no experience with this bean thing as a remedy for morning sickness — just passing it along.
Sometimes nausea is actually from acid reflux, so try to get that under control. Relieve constipation (the sweet potatoes really help with that, as does flax, and dates, which you should be eating anyway for your labor). Tums, Zantac. It can also be due to low acid, so taking an apple cider vinegar drink or lemonade can help.
There's still Defcon 2… Walking around with a little suitcase containing IV fluids. Aw. This is so hard. Please rest and be cared for. We don't know what to say, other than maybe look at the tips above and see if you can manage them or pass them to your husband; and Defcon 1… Hospitalization: Auntie Leila is so sorry and has even less to tell you, other than to direct your husband to this post, which will also help anyone who isn't able to be very handy around the kitchen, even if not actually carrying the baby around inside their actual bodies.
(Hence, the “more” of the title. It's just good to remember, for lots of dire circumstances, that you — or someone else — can keep it simple.)
Hyperemesis gravidarum is so serious, and we are on your side.
Some possibly consoling thoughts:
A friend who does get morning sick told me recently about a real upside to her most recent pregnancy, and this relates to meal planning directly. She decided she just had to keep it very simple and not cater to her other children's pickiness (they were all under six at the time) — because she just could not. She got what she could on the table and that was that, and it was usually the same thing many days in a row.
And you know what? They became very hearty eaters!
If none of this helps, let it go, just let it slide. What helps one gal might not help you, and vice versa. It's okay.
Please join or form a St. Greg's Pocket as soon as you can. We all need a community to help us through these times. We can't do it on our own. When you've been through it, you know what to do — which is more than I can say for most people. Be there to help others and they will help you.
In any case, everyone has their fight to fight, and I want you to know that we all have those times that things fall apart. You do your best and you know that God sees you and loves you.
Sometimes I think that we have these times in our lives so that we learn humility and that we aren't meant to be “perfect” — how else will we ever empathize with anyone?
I do have these posts:
Resolutions for doing what you can, and 10 survival tactics for rescuing a bad day.
They might help with just figuring out how to muddle through and make best use of whatever good moments you have. Short version: work fast when you can, do the minimum! and find good videos (lots of ideas in that survival post) and books for the kids.
Remember that offering up your suffering is the way God asks us to be united with Him. It isn't wasted — you will never know until you get to Heaven how your lonely, silent suffering helps others. But it does.
What ways have you found for coping with morning sickness, especially with other family members to take care of?
Shannon says
Just a quick hint on the crockpot: plug it in in the garage or your patio or somewhere. I found that the smell of the meat cooking all day long was HORRIBLE to me when I was sick.
Also: try eating something before you lift your head off the bed in the morning. I know that sounds crazy, but have your sweet husband make you toast or whatever, and eat it before you even raise your head upright in the morning. That helped me so much with my last pregnancy.
Also, Zofran. If you need it, just do it. It never stopped me from feeling sick, but it did stop the actual puking, for the most part.
Praying for all the sick mamas out there today!!
Evie says
Right on, Shannon. I was just jumping down to the comments to say just that. Zofran will help reduce the vomiting, which helps keep you from spiraling down a dehydration hole and a crockpot in the garage is the best way to not smell your food. I only shopped at the grocery store with the clean bathrooms that way I could do my mid-shopping trip puke in a pleasant place. I also read that when you are puking a lot, your stomach acid gets low and that can make you feel more nauseated, so adding acid to your water (apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, etc.) actually will help you stomach calm down. TrueLemon makes handy little packets of lemon juice crystals you can keep in your purse. Another thing you can ask your provider to do for you is to run a bag of saline. I used to have this done a few times each pregnancy and it helped so much. It is hard, very hard, to stay hydrated when you puke all the time. Sometimes an IV is just so nice and your provider can do that in the office instead of sending you to urgent care or the ER.
Kelly G says
Yes to staying hydrated! And yes to upping stomach acid! That’s a common theme among women with HG, I’ve found.
Zofran is good for vomiting, Unisom + B6 is good for nausea. If those in combination don’t do the job, consider a heartburn medication.
Becky g says
The garage! Of course!
Margo, Thrift at Home says
YES – put the crockpot outside!!! I have a table outside my kitchen window and an outlet inside next to the window. I run an extension cord out the window, shut the window gently, and keep the pot outside. I do this all the time when the weather is hot (and yes, when I was pregnant).
I ate a lot of peanut butter apples when I was morning sick. The salty protein of the pb was great and the crunch of the apple, too. In other pregnancies, I used to carry around packages of string cheese and just eat one every hour or so, as soon as the thought of nausea even crossed my mind, before I actually felt anything. It seemed to help. I actually gained a lot of weight in my first trimesters due to trying to keep my nausea down, but it totally evened out in my next two trimesters and I ended up only gaining the recommended 25 lbs.
Emily says
What a great post! I will admit, though, that simple cooking is how I cook all the time, morning sick or not! Especially roasting a chicken or two and hacking away at it all week! If I can’t prep it in 10 minutes or less, I don’t do it. There are a million options for simple roasted/grilled meat and poultry and steamed/sautéed vegetables.
Also, agree with the relationship with easy pregnancies and hard labors and births. I feel great in pregnancy, and in three births, my average labor is still 24 hours!
Angelique says
I could only eat smoothies and rice cakes. Smoothies are better than ice cream, if you can, because less sugar, whatever healthy add-ins you can stand. Things I’d like to try next time: gummy vitamins, making a ton of broth ahead of time and freezing it, having dh grill a bunch of meat outside where I don’t have to smell it, having kids old enough to cook 😉
Paula says
I love the grace in this post. Thank you. And put the crockpot outside! That will help with the cooking smells!
Kelly G says
I managed to bring it down to defcon 3 this last pregnancy, thanks to that B6 & Unisom combo, but I didn’t start it until 12 weeks, so that first trimester was horrible for the whole family. My wonderful husband held us together with plain yogurt, grilled pork chops, and frozen pizzas. I ate ginger beer ice chips, gummy bears, and sometimes potato chips. I was so malnourished that I couldn’t even get myself to the bathroom without assistance- at times, my husband had to carry me.
Next time I get a positive test, I’m starting Unisom ASAP. That’s the current advice for those of us with HG. I’m also getting a dorm fridge for our bedroom, so I can reach for the food that appeals as soon as I have a craving. Food by any means necessary! I’m hoping that with those (and a few other) tricks, I can keep the worst at bay.
HelpHer.org is an excellent resource for medication information, finding a good doctor, and nutritional advice (tips and tricks for getting food down, etc.). (I’m not sure what their stance is on “termination”, though, so watch out for that.)
Dixie says
Kelly G, with my first I started the Unisom combo at about 9 weeks; with my second I started it the day after the positive test. With the first I was bedridden; with the second I was only couch-ridden! It really did make a difference to start it immediately. I also took Diclegis, which is the same thing, but by prescreption (Category A, by the way! i.e. as safe as prenatal vitamins!), instead of Unisom and the B6 pills and I think the extended release worked better for me.
Kelly G says
Good to know! My first two pregnancies, I didn’t take anything because I didn’t know anything! I knew a bit more and was more proactive with my third. I’d really like to avoid the weight loss next time, and the utter bleak depression of it all. Not to mention the house and kids falling all to pieces.
I like the Unisom because it’s OTC and cheap! 🙂 We don’t have insurance, so Diclegis is not doable.
Sukie says
I’ve also heard of people splitting up their B6 and unisom doses, in order to mimic the time-release aspect of diclegis without the price tag. Just mentioning in case it would help you later! Here’s a description: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a41600260/diy_otc_nausea_remedy
Dixie says
Yes, Diclegis is ridiculously expensive, a real beast without insurance. Just take LOTS of the Unisom/B6. I think I took it six times a day with my first.
Kelly G says
I discovered that the Unisom tablets are very easy to break in half. Taking a whole dose before bed helps hold off nausea first thing in the morning, too.
I took Swanson’s activated B vitamin complex (all bioavailable), so I was able to get folate and B12 in me, too. Good stuff!
Larissa says
Thank you for the grace of this post. This is my fourth pregnancy and hopefully second baby (two were miscarriages) and I have had awful sickness with all of them.
I was given samples of Diclegis. Unfortunately it made my anxiety disorder off the charts as a side effect. It was to the point where the wracking anxiety was worse than the nausea, which was bad, so I had to stop the medication and just be sick.
My husband is an miracle from God and does all the things, but I feel awful not to be more helpful. Thank you for the perspective!
Leila says
Larissa, I hope and pray that all will be well with you!
Cecilia says
I was wondering when you were going to write a post about this! Although reading this post made me queasy, it also made me excited, because I have some good tips I’ve been wanting to share with the world! Alright, I might be sounding a little over the top, but you see, my during my first pregnancy, I felt absolutely awful, truly, and there was nothing anyone would tell me that really helped… But during my second pregnancy I found this booklet, “Managing Morning Sickness” by Marilyn M. Shannon (through the Couple to Couple League site), and it truly changed my whole experience. This might be TMI, but I went from throwing up about four to five times a day, to four to five times a week–a big improvement! Especially when you have many (helpless) little people and one (somewhat helpful) husband. The book centers around the theory that hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) might be one of the causes of morning sickness and that therefore managing your blood sugar by controlling your diet is sure to help, and it certainly did for me! Meals and snacks of a combination of protein, whole carbs and fats, no sugar (not even from fruit for me), eating often (every 2 to 3 hours for me), no caffeine, etc.
On the other side of things, I can’t emphasize how helpful it was for me to have a positive attitude the second time around. Knowing I was helping myself and managing things, doing more planning, and especially keeping in mind that it really was going to end made things reasonably manageable. I didn’t feel great, but I could keep myself from feeling awful, which is key.
Let me list other tips and try to keep this short, as I recall that being on the computer made me queasy…
– Drink lots of water! More than you think! My doctor told me 6-8 liters a day, which is a ton, but just aim for it. I remember it was the hardest thing to drink water, and it make me feel more sick in the moment, but in the end it made me feel much better.
– Find which snacks and meals work and stick to them. Have your husband, if possible, do the grocery shopping. I just couldn’t handle the sights and smells of the market. I couldn’t handle ham or turkey, or regular chicken breasts, so I had to get a little creative in terms of getting enough protein for snacks and lunch. Some things that worked for me: bagels (whole wheat or sprouted wheat) with cream cheese, nuts like walnuts and almonds, pasta with breaded chicken, mini pizzas (from Trader Joe’s), crackers with cheese, mini cheese sandwiches, and baguette with salami. It’s hard because you end up eating the same things every day and it gets really old, but it does end!
– Keep things easy and flexible with the kids. We lived in an apartment then, so it was a good day when I could get us all downstairs and walk around the block for a little. We all felt better, and if you can’t handle that, do what you can. And when you really can’t do anything at all, and everyone is crying, and you just threw up, again, and someone has a dirty diaper, again, just take a deep breath, say a quick “O Sacred Heart of Jesus, have Mercy on me!” or “Mother Mary, lend me your heart!” and offer it up. This too shall pass! You can do it! It will be OK!
– Drinking water with a little lemon juice or sucking on a lemon after meals helped me when I would get horrible stomach aches after eating a lot, like after dinner. Shannon suspects that in some people morning sickness causes low stomach acid, and so this helped me.
– One thing I did this third time around that I hope will be helpful to me in the future, is that I actually wrote down (in the Shannon book itself) what I did, what was helpful, and how I managed. That way, next time around, I will be one step ahead! I forget things so easily, and reinventing the wheel is not something you want to do when you’re sick.
Well, that was not short at all, but these are the things that I would have liked to hear, I truly hope they will help someone out there too! I will be praying for all of you! All of Auntie Leila’s tips and meal ideas are helpful too! It’s worth it and you can get through it!
Thank you LMLD girls for all your knowledge and help!
P.S. Marilyn Shannon’s other book “Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition,” is really helpful to have around also.
Cami says
The blood sugar thing is key I think. I’m doing a little lower carb now per info by Maria Emmerich. Eating less carbs helps regulate blood sugar. And she is a fan of high fats so eat nuts, avocados, and coconut oil as often as possible. I feel much more satisfied with the good fats. Less likely to look for sugar or bread. I’m in my first trimester of my 4th pregnancy now and already I see a difference in the amount and duration of nausea. All 3 of my pregnancies were basically the same. I used to just feel like vomiting most of the day but only would actually vomit when changing a diaper or something. Now I’ve hardly had nausea except a couple times before bed, I think from being tired. I have a 17 mo old in bed with me at night, teething and nursing! Also I have a hard time losing weight between babies… Still carrying 20 lbs extra around. But I haven’t gained weight this pregnancy yet. My body is using stored energy to grow the baby. Not necessary for all moms but good for me. Of course if I feel like I need a few bites of potatoes or a piece of chocolate, I do it! But I eat much less carbs now than before. We’ll see how the rest of the pregnancy goes. God bless all you moms out there!
Marie Meyer says
The two biggest life savers for me when I was pregnant with our oldest was frozen diced onions. At first, I felt terrible for buying them but the SMELL of chopped onions was too much for me to handle. The other was tomato paste in a squeeze tube. It wasn’t the smell of the tomatoes that got to me, but seeing it. All that red… in the bottom of the can… I feel like I’m not articulating it properly even now. But that would send me straight over the edge as well.
Oh, I was wrong! There is a third thing: No longer working! I worked until the day I delivered our first, but since then I’ve stayed home. A huge relief to be sure.
Ann-Marie says
I literally couldn’t eat something if I was the one to prepare it. So I would often pick up food for me, then come home and fix a meal for everyone else. I also could not handle the smells. So the crock pot and toaster oven got moved to the back porch when something was cooking. It kept the smells out of the house.
Also, for kids lunches it had to be something I didn’t cook – so lots of sandwiches, meat and cheese rolled up Ina tortilla, etc. they survived. And so did I.
Donna L. says
Thank you for this post! I laughed so hard that I started to cry! Honestly~I *still* cannot handle the sight nor feel of raw chicken….I have to don gloves and slide the pieces into the skillet…cannot cut it up!
I felt very fortunate to not have to be hospitalized…but sometimes couldn’t even keep water down! I lost 12-14 pounds in that first 8-15 weeks period….ugh!
Salt is what helped me in the form of saltine crackers., almonds, too. I kept raw lemon wedges to sniff and squeeze into water sometimes, and yes, ginger ale–made with real ginger and cane sugar-Thomas Kemper makes a great ginger ale. Straws were helpful, for the water or ginger ale–and lots of ice chips.
Yes, to not smelling meat cooking, and another yes that offering it up helps.
A couple of tips that helped me:
*have snacks and beverages right by your bed or couch–before even trying to stand up, nibble on a bit of food so your empty tummy doesn’t gnaw on your insides….
*cold foods for the other kiddos so there aren’t any “cooking smells”.
*take the prenatal vitamin at night–
*baking soda water for sour tummy–but NOT right after eating as it slows digestion
God bless all of the expectant Mommies!
Katie says
Re not choking down salad . . . this sums up my pregnancy queasiness entirely. Funny, I hadn’t framed it in the women’s-healthy-default way, so I wonder if that was part of it the first time around. I don’t seem to have either cravings or nausea (tend to hover between defcon 1 and 2, so really fine all things considered), but I simply can NOT eat salad. I suspect that it’s a texture thing– too much crunchiness, too much variety of texture, too much chewing, too much work. Maybe it lines up with the cooked, soft, fast-as-you-can advice here . . . to make the eating quick, too, and to eat soft things. I could get back to salads by the third trimester though. Offering the texture/crunch/jaw effort idea in case that’s a helpful clue for others.
Catie H says
Katie, I just read a medical article that said raw, leafy vegetables can be more likely to harbor trace amounts of bacteria that a woman could probably fight off fine if not pregnant (and maybe does all the time), but it would cause issues for the highly-sensitive pregnant system. So this aversion that many experience could likely be a natural protection – makes sense! Reading that really helped me to not force myself to eat salad or even add lettuce to sandwiches and wraps.
Leila says
Yes! This is so true! I’m sure it is. Just cook some veggies, put butter and salt on them, and eat them!
Andrea says
Crock pot smell solution….put it in the garage! My mother-in-law suggested this to me several years ago.
Amy says
I would recommend speaking to your doctor / midwife before eating liver or taking cod liver oil. The recommendation here in UK is to avoid completely in pregnancy, due to high levels of vitamin A. Although I know different countries assess the risk differently and thus have different recommendations.
I loved these “recipes”. I am horrible at simple cooking–it seems like every dinner has to be a production! I am passed the morning sickness part of this pregnancy, but will try to keep this in mind for newborn stage. (Because of course, living in UK = tiny freezer, so can’t plan ahead too much!)
Margaret says
This is all great advice! I still feel like nothing can really take the pain away, though. I’ve used unisom for my last three pregnancies, and it’s the only way I can sleep at night, but taking sleeping pills when you’re already exhausted just makes it that much harder to function. And I think first trimesters have gotten more difficult with older children. Yes, they can help around the house, but they also need to go places that require you to get dressed and look presentable every day. They’re also old enough to notice you scarfing down junk food, and complain that they can’t have any. I’ve often wished for hospitalization, just so I could escape it all!
Leila says
Margaret, do remember to have your levels checked for iron! And the nurse told me this, when I told her I didn’t want to eat so often in front of the kids: “Go in the bathroom to have your snack BUT EAT IT!!”
So there you have it!
Anitra says
Yes, I know how you feel! By the time I was pregnant with my 3rd, the other two were old enough to sort of take care of themselves… but I had to pack us all up to get the oldest one to school every morning! And pack a lunch! I had to manage that in between running to the bathroom to throw up… even on Zofran (no longer recommended), I was still at defcon 3. Just barely functional.
That third pregnancy began to teach me that it is really OK to ask for help. Not just “I’m pregnant and super sick, please don’t be offended”, but “please come watch my kids” or “please pick up food for everyone else to eat”.
The last thing was that I found a few helpful snacks that I tolerated but my kids didn’t really like (ie. they’d eat it if they were HUNGRY, but not just because it was fun to eat). Stocked up on those. Tried my best to keep a lot of prepared snacks on hand, so I wasn’t running to the kitchen to “make” food every few hours.
Emily g says
Thanks so much for this! Even though I am plagued by morning sickness for only a short while compared to many, I appreciate the advice about simple cooking. I also think getting it done quickly is right on target. It is so easy to just mope on the couch. Also, for an extrovert like me, I find that getting out into the world early in the day and chatting with other adults actually really helps me quell the nausea. But, perhaps this only works for extroverts? St. Greg’s pockets could be the key! And thanks for the story of the kids running in circles eating the banana. I got a great laugh out of that! Just living real life around here too……
Victoria says
I think you’re right! For some reason, when I’m socializing I forget about the nausea for the most part. This only works in the morning, for me, though. Once we start creeping up on 11:30 or 12, even having a nice chat can’t take my mind off of it.
Dixie says
I’m really interested to know if anyone here has tried the supplements from Pink Stork Solutions. The reviews rave about them. They are supposed to knock the nausea down a notch — not a magic pill, but sure sounds great. Anybody?
Thanks for the great advice and encouragement, Leila!
Kelly G says
I’m in a Hyperemesis Gravidarum group on Facebook, and some of the ladies there have tried or are trying the Pink Stork products. As far as I’ve seen, the jury is still out. No one can really tell if they’re making a difference, especially because these ladies are also trying so many other things in a desperate effort to get some relief.
Diana says
Yes, I am using Pink Stork products! It’s hard to tell what’s working, because I’m doing SO many things (Pink Stork plus other supplements, diet, etc.), but I do think her products (and her ideas) are working. I know she (the owner, Amy) is a super-dedicated mama who used her own ideas to bring herself down from multiple long-term hospitalizations to workable pregnancy nausea. I hope lots of mamas will check out her site!!! I’m so excited about her company and the benefits it offers to expecting women.
http://pinkstorksolutions.com/
Dixie says
They (Pink Stork) also hand out 20% off coupons very freely; just e-mail them. That helps, because it does cost $.
Jan says
I am over 50 now and my kids are grown up. I remember those morning sickness days well. Your advice is really good. I just want to add one thing that helped me in case it might help someone else. Mint helped soothe my quesiness a lot. If I was at home I would sip peppermint tea. If at work or out I always had some of the red and white peppermint hard candies with me. Sucking on the hard candy helped. When a smell bothered me the smell of mint, peppermint essential oil is good for this, helped.
Pres. Catherine says
Yes! With my most recent pregnancies, I found that chewing mint gum and drinking mint water really helped. To make mint water, I steeped two peppermint tea bags in a gallon of water, and then drank it chilled. I still felt exhausted and gagged at the smell of garlic, but in general, I was functioning on a higher level than before. All the best to any pregnant, miserable ladies out there!
Victoria says
I third this! I keep peppermints in the van to get me from one place to another. Something about driving always makes me notice this nasty taste I get in my mouth in the first trimester.
Ginger chews helped a lot with my two boys, but I think I over-did it because now I associate ginger with nausea. It’s too bad, because it used to be one of my favorite flavors!
Melissa D says
I think I was somewhere around Defcon 4. I threw up violently around the clock, all 9 months, through 3 pregnancies that came to term and 2 that ended around 4 months. I would *wake up* throwing up out of a sound sleep! Looking back, I think I had a nose that was supersensitive, because the weirdest things would make me almost pass out with nausea: once I walked into the grocery store and stood there trembling, because I could *smell the cantaloupe rinds* in the produce section (at the far end of the store). The smell of lettuce, even at that distance, made me shudder. That particular day I did end up passing out. So embarrassing! (The kind bagboy and pharmacist plied me with Gatorade and a wheelchair, bless them.) Zofran helped a bit, just enough to keep me out of the hospital.
I found that eating what I craved no matter what meant I could keep at least a little something down, and with each pregnancy it was something different: cottage cheese and tomatoes, slurping them straight out of the can — I can’t believe I did this. Peanut butter sandwiches, spicy jamaican ginger ale, and organic pop tarts. Chocolate cake from the corner shop and hot dogs from our neighborhood pool. <<< SO embarrassing, yet they seemed to be the only things I could eat and keep down!
My poor family… we did lots of bagged frozen veggies with pan-fried chicken breasts or ribeyes. My toddlers ate a ton of pasta and apples. I did lots of slow-cooker meals that involved throwing in a hunk of meat, dumping a bottle of something ethnic on top, and serving with tortillas and slaw. We survived, but with back-to-back pregnancies (4 in less than 4 years), it seemed to go on forever. It was a bit humiliating, though, since I really do love to cook the fun stuff!
Annie says
I’m currently on my fifth pregnancy and I’ve been at 4 and 5, but I’m currently 10 weeks between 2 and 3. Pink Stork is making a difference for me, but I started immediately after that 2nd line showed up. I also drank Apple Cider Vinegar with my water 3 times a day prior to conceiving and continued that as long as I could.
Magnesium Oil spray has been the lifesaver. I got it at the health foods store (some people use it as deodorant?) – the lady in the store had never heard of using it for pregnancy sickness, but it has made a huge difference in my life. I’m on the best magnesium supplements I can afford (started before conception), and I also take Epsom salt baths. Peppermint tea is very helpful also. The other day my husband wanted me to help him clean out the junk room so we can put the new bunk beds in there – in every other pregnancy, this would have been impossible, but with the magnesium oil applied every time I had the smallest symptom, we got a ton done.
I also think there is a lot to be said for the h.pylori explanation too.
So many people do not understand this sickness. We need to continue to support one another and understand the condition as best we can. My midwife was never much help, but she is great at everything else so I’ve done all the research between pregnancies that I can. I’m praying a prayer right now for each and every pregnant mama who reads this post. Thank you Auntie Leila!
Oh, and a question for all the other mamas – this pregnancy I’ve had horrible headaches, which is new for me. Any suggestions for that? – a quiet house isn’t an option 🙂
Leila says
Annie, the advice above to drink a HUGE amount of water is key. It really is hormones that are doing all this to you, and you need to dilute them.
If you have headaches, try really drinking a lot of water — a lot. A friend had this same thing — pregnancy headache — and this is what the doctor told her. Maybe talk it over with your doctor.
For me, I could never drink that much water, but tea (in the form of iced tea) made me feel a lot better. I think tea cures a lot of things, and a little caffeine helps the headache too. I know that people frown on pregnant women having caffeine, but I frown on them having headaches.
Cecilia says
Drinking water becomes so hard! I would get headaches too, and I finally realized that although I felt like I was drinking a lot, I wasn’t drinking as much as I thought. The two things that helped where a good water bottle (I actually had three, I like those Contigo ones) and writing down how much I was actually drinking. I would have my husband fill up my water bottles the night before and put them in the fridge so that the next day they would be ready and I could start off the day well. Then I divided up how many water bottles I actually needed to drink to reach my goal of water drinking for the day (6-8 liters). I knew it was about one per hour and so I would keep track on a little notepad next to the fridge. I would even write down the time I would fill up. I know this sounds like a lot of work, but it was the only way I was able to keep drinking enough water to not get headaches! If I stopped taking notes on my water intake, I would feel the repercussions… I did this all throughout my pregnancy. Also, sometimes it takes a few days to catch up on dehydration, at least that’s what my doctor said. So keep at it until you feel better! God Bless!
Mary says
Annie, I just ordered some magnesium oil from Ancient Minerals. I’m not pregnant yet, but from what I’ve read you need to build up your magnesium levels before getting pregnant, because the pregnancy hormones can interfere with magnesium absorption? Anyway, I’m hoping for a better time with the 3rd pregnancy, if we’re so blessed – the first two were a little rough. Question for you, though – have you found any info in your research about dosage? I’m not sure how much to use, how often, and for how long before conception. Thanks!
Leila says
Mary, magnesium is really better absorbed through the skin. Try foot soaks in Epsom salts.
Annie says
My magnesium spray does have a quick effect – much faster than my beloved Epsom salt soaks. It is a normal spray bottle (like non-aerosol hairspray) and I spray 4-5 times on my chest, tummy, upper thighs or arms and then rub in with my hands. Avoid the parts of your legs where you shave otherwise it will sting like crazy. It has been helpful. I really appreciate all the suggestions to drink more water. I find it helpful to drink water while I’m super distracted so I’m not thinking about the metallic taste as much. Thanks again for the encouragement! I love all the advice and empathy from the LMLD community in the comments so much 😉
Meredith says
My favorite little-effort, plain-cooking meal? Tortellini. Stash a package or two in the freezer. Boil for 3 minutes. Serve with sauce. No need for meat, since there’s cheese (protein) already inside them. You could even get the ones with spinach inside if your kids will eat them, and then they’re getting veggies, too. Boom. Dinner.
Anitra says
Yes! This is my favorite go-to easy meal. It can even be customized a little – frozen meatballs for extra protein, serve the sauce on the side for those who can’t stand tomatoes…
When we have it as a “real” (planned) meal, I do salad too, but if I can just barely get off the couch? Tortellini is the ticket. We buy big packages at BJs, since one of their big bags is about 1.5-2 meals for my family.
Betsy says
“Get a fence and let the kids run around outside. When people ask what you need, tell them you need a fence.” I just have to add that this comment brought me to tears from laughing. I can just imagine! Great, practical advice, really!
Victoria says
Yes! I laughed too! I need a fence so badly, but we are renting and there will be no fence forthcoming!
Sarah says
We don’t have a fence either but I’m improvising with a playpen for my smallest who would run into the street. The others have better yard manners. It at least gives them all some fresh air without my chasing a one year old, and I feel less nauseous outside.
Ngofamilyfarm says
I’m on my fourth pregnancy, and it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with serious morning sickness, which really does just drain your energy even more. Liver (Braunsweiger sandwiches) and peanut butter (not together, though!) were actually the only substantial things I could eat for months. And yes to cold food! Broccoli…ew. My kids love it actually, and are wondering if I will ever make it again! (Um…no). I think your advice here is spot on, including getting the blood test done and having medication on hand for the days you just can’t cope. Thank you especially for your encouragement at the end of this post – I really did learn some lessons about what it means to offer up suffering and let go of perfectionism, having gone through this first-hand now. Bless all the mothers, what hard work it is, at every stage!
-Jaime
Pippajo says
I was a Defcon 5 from before my missed period to just after delivery throughout all four of my pregnancies. I lost 35 lbs in the first trimester of my first pregnancy and was hospitalised a dozen times for dehydration because my doctors at the time wouldn’t prescribe anything. After I changed practices, the only thing that prevented me from having to have a pic line placed was the drug Phenergan. And even with that, we had to adapt greatly. Before he left for work in the morning, husband would put the jar of peanut butter, loaf of bread, and a butter knife where my toddler could reach it, and sippy cups of milk in the fridge. I would lie on the couch and she would bring the stuff to me so I could slap a sandwich together from my prone position. Then my husband would make dinner when he got home. My diet consisted mainly of starchy foods like baked potatoes, fries, and soft pretzels.
One thing I did find helpful was to eat something dry and starchy (read easy to throw up if it came to that–and it often did) before I even sat up in the morning. My husband would usually bring me a dry toaster waffle before he left in the morning. And I second the encouragement to rest as much as possible! Growing a baby can be the hardest thing you’ll ever do so take whatever steps necessary to keep you and your baby healthy!
Leila says
Oh Jennifer — defcon 5 all the time! Oh. Terrible. You went through a lot. Bless you!
Kathleen L says
Me, too Jennifer….with all five of my pregnancies. Baked potatoe with a little butter and salt. Peeling amd slowly eating Grapefruits helped a bit. But hospitalized and IVed with severe weight loss for all five of the babies:(( Even through labor!! Ugh…But I would do it again if God willed it! My children are a treasure and a blessing from God!
My husband will be sainted because of all this, I’m sure!
Justina says
9 weeks pregnant with baby 4 (oldest of the crew is 5 yrs). When I saw this blog post in my inbox I nearly cried. I NEEDED THIS! Thanks for the practical tips and help.
Mary says
Yes. I am rereading this while pregnant with #3. I felt awful during the previous pregnancies, too, but remembering it and living it again are two different things. The only thing I’ve kept down today is Sprite. I’m literally crying, knowing that I’m not alone and that it’s OK to do the barest minimum we all need to survive.
Amy A. says
I was fortunate that my pregnancy was somewhere between Defcon 2 and 3, and only between weeks 8 and 13ish. At the peak of my nausea I was keeping crackers in my coat pockets and peppermints in my purse because nibbling on something when nausea struck at inopportune moments (like while stuck in traffic, or during Mass) helped me hold off the actual sickness until I got home. I also used a tip from a dear friend who is unfortunately in the Defcon 3-4 group for all 9 months of pregnancy- sometimes bubbles help juice sit more lightly on the stomach. Carbonated water (NOT tonic water) with juice helped prevent the feeling of liquid “sloshing around” in my empty stomach, particularly before breakfast, or while in the car.
The biggest change I had to make was to my breakfast routine; before I was pregnant I would soak oats in milk overnight, then warm them and add toppings in the morning. I was a creature of habit and that was pretty much all I ever had. Around week 8 that was no longer remotely appetizing, but I have to credit Rosie’s post where she mentioned muffins during Lent while pregnant for giving me the idea to switch up my breakfast routine. (I realize that muffins for breakfast is about as groundbreaking as shelves in the closet, but see above re: creature of habit, and also, pregnant) I would have a muffin or two with butter or buttered toast with peanut butter with ginger tea to start the day, and that got me through the first trimester. So, thank you Rosie!
Amelia says
Definitely want to reiterate the advice to stay hydrated, but I’m often averse to plain water in pregnancy, especially if I were to drink it in sufficient quantities to stay hydrated. If regular beverages aren’t appealing, one option is to try sipping seltzer water, flavored or unflavored, perhaps with a squeeze of lemon (or heck, pickle juice, or whatever sounds OK!). I also like to make “labor-ade”. You can look up many recipes online. I would make a large, cold-brewed jar of red zinger-type herbal tea and add lemon juice, baking soda, salt, and honey. It makes an electrolyte drink, the same kind used to treat dehydration. It’s not super-duper sugary and is much more economical than a sports drink, although do give Gatorade (perhaps watered down – whatever works) a try if you can’t manage to make your own. I am very sensitive to dehydration headache when pregnant and I don’t know what I would do without it! Sometimes nausea can be the result of even a teensy bit of dehydration. If you can find a way for an electrolyte beverage to taste good, teach your husband to help keep you well supplied!
Leila says
Amelia, I totally agree about having a hard time just drinking water. My beverage of choice is iced tea — sweetened! I justify this because it’s way less sweet than soda. But you are right that it’s often easier to keep hydrated if you have a more interesting drink at hand, and fortifying it with electrolytes and having it a bit acidic can really help.
A couple of notes on your suggestions:
– The only other kind of tea (than black) that I like is hibiscus flower tea (kerkady or jamaica are two other names for it). BUT — don’t drink it in the first weeks of pregnancy, as it can cause miscarriage. Red Zinger tea does have hibiscus flower in it — probably not much, but still. Our midwife/friend Cindy says that it’s good for you after early pregnancy. I recommend getting the dried flowers in bulk — it’s actually way tastier straight up.
– Be careful with bottled soda — regular soda, and particularly “flavored” soda waters with “zero calories”- – and Gatorade — have aspertame in them. It’s not labeled, necessarily, because it doesn’t have to be. Not good for developing kidneys or if baby happens to have phenylketonuria. This goes for regular ginger ale too! Which also has no ginger in it. Actually unflavored seltzer water/club soda is fine, and you are right to say no tonic water, bc quinine isn’t good for pregnancy.
Rachel says
There are a bunch of flavored seltzer waters out there right now that do not have ANY sweetener in them. At ALL. I mean, you can tell — they are not sweet at all and do not have any kind of sweetener, natural or otherwise, in them. La Croix, Dasani, Polar, even Nestle makes some. You do have to check b/c there are also a lot of sweetened seltzers, but this newish trend (several years old) of no sweeteners at all has been very welcome in my house! My tastebuds are getting older and can’t handle the sweetness. I appreciate it!
Amelia says
Thank you for adding those clarifiers, Leila! I forget about those nasty artificial sweeteners, but yes, one should always check the labels of such drinks because many versions do contain it. They can put aspartame in without labeling, though? That’s totally unfair – some people have phenylketonuria, like you said! Yet another reason to avoid “diet” anything and try to make things at home when you can. Iced tea that you sweeten yourself sounds great – I’m all for judicious use of real sugar, and if there ever was a just cause, this. is. it.
I get bulk dried herbal teas, too. A must if you realize you’re going to be having a lot of this so you don’t run out or break the bank. You can try something like ginger or chamomile tea straight up or mix a few, all for pennies per batch. If you’re wanting to try pregnancy herbs that aren’t tasty on their own, such as raspberry leaf, mix them in. And yes – definitely, particularly if you’re going to be drinking these teas on a regular basis, run it by the midwife. Some are like medicines and can interfere with blood pressure or may cause contractions, etc., or shouldn’t be taken early on.
Claire says
See, this is the beauty of the web. God bless you richly for addressing this, wish I had these things to try back in the day when it was my turn!
If this is any consolation to anyone, here’s a thing: I could not for the life of me imagine how it could be with me eating so wretchedly — but all of my babies were healthy as could be. As were my sisters’. So yes, it will be OK!
Great tips, all!
Kari says
One pregnancy I just couldn’t eat eggs, one (or perhaps a couple of them) I couldn’t eat beans, morning sickness or not, no beans! I definitely found I could eat if someone else made it. The last couple pregnancies, I actually gained a little weight during the 1st trimester because I felt better if I was eating constantly (and drinking water or lemonade constantly helped too). Lemon drops and mint gum always helped too.
Mama A says
The first three babies, I had horrible morning sickness. The third was the worst (ER visits for hg, IVs, reglan, zofran, etc). Nothing worked. I was determined that the fourth would be different though.
I read somewhere that women in ancient South American indiginous cultures (Aztecs, for example) did not experience morning sickness…I researched their diet, I ate like an Aztec woman before and during pregnancy, and I did NOT get sick, not once! It was a huge difference. I rarely felt queasy!
What I ate…organic cage free eggs, quinoa, whole grain rice, whole grain corn tortillas, avocados, fresh fruit and cooked veggies. High quality good meat (organic chicken liver, etc). You can do your research…most ancient cultures had very specific diets for pregnancy and the post part periods.
I think that diet was low in carbs and any kind of toxin and high in iron, magnesium, vitamin b6 and b12. It also probably helped that I started it before I got pregnant. I only took folic acid in the first trimester, and then skipped all prenatal vitamins the rest of the pregnancy, with my midwife’s blessing.
Leila says
Yes, Mama A, we need to look into this!
Why is it so often that baby #1 is the worst for mama? Could it be that she’s not eating regularly, the fridge is empty, it only has chicken breasts, milk, broccoli, and lettuce when it does have anything in it, and she’s working?
And then with later babies, hmmm…. regular meals (for the other kids and family life), more variety in the food, and a more regular rhythm of life in general?
And in other cultures, the young mom is often not the one in charge of all the meals. There is often another woman — servant, grandmother, auntie — making lots of little tasty things.
In my last two pregnancies, I had a hard time getting the foods together because I was always so tired (super anemic when given half the chance), but when I did, I found I did best on Arabic foods: hummus, tabouli, feta cheese, olives, lamb (which is always grass fed), veggies like zucchini and eggplant cooked in plenty of olive oil — dripping with it — lots of mint and parsley.
Anything sharp, lemony, salty.
We need a good list of what traditional cultures make for pregnant women!
Anamaria says
Where can I find a list of pregnant foods from traditional cultures? As I’m between babies (well, I hope, anyway!), I’m trying to avoid the Defcon4 next time (didn’t have constant IV fluids but needed them- weaning the toddler was a bit traumatic as it was so abrupt!), so I have been researching things to do beforehand to help (even though the baby is only 6 months old!). Right now, I am really avoiding processed sugar, limiting white grains, and adding apple cider vinegar to my water. Thanks!
Kelly G says
You could try looking at westonaprice.org for that information. Also the cookbook Nourishing Traditions, and the newest book from those same people about feeding babies- can’t remember the title!
Anamaria says
Thanks! I am always a little skeptical of nourishing traditions as it recommends feeing the baby at 4 months (!!) and doesn’t see homemade formula as much inferior to nursing, but I suppose I just need to get over that. d
Leila says
Anamaria, yes, I think Nourishing Traditions is an example of a book that has some good thoughts (eat in a traditional manner if it’s a healthy tradition) and some wackadoo ones (don’t use a pressure cooker, don’t eat pork, give otherwise healthy nursing baby homemade formula).
We just have to use our common sense!
That said, I don’t think they address this specific issue. I think we need to know from people who grew up in traditional cultures as to what they do with pregnant women.
Adrienne says
Here’s a link to one website (which also mentions Dr. Price!): http://www.optimumchoices.com/Traditional_Diets.htm
It sounds like lots of cooked veggies, olive oil, seeds, avocados, fermented foods, and plenty of high quality eggs and meats. It also mentions traditional whole grains like amaranth, corn, tabbouleh, etc.
Adrienne says
Good point also about the young expectant mother not being in charge of the cooking!! I also had the crazy experience with the first few babies of being able to eat sometimes but not cook. If I cooked it, then I couldn’t eat it, ahhh. Same with so many ladies here reporting that they couldn’t smell the dinner – hence crockpots in garages and on back porches!
Anitra says
I was the opposite: first pregnancy felt awful, but I had enough energy to take care of myself. Little did I know that would be my “easy” pregnancy. Later kids would run me ragged, I would “forget” to eat or drink, and I would be at defcon 3 for more than half of my pregnancy.
I need to remember this for friends who are pregnant with several young-ish kids already: They need the help and food for their family more often than a first-time mom does!
Lacy says
Re: your comment about traditional cultures having another woman around to make little tasty things–I had never considered it, but my second pregnancy hovered around Defcon 2 (until 30 weeks, but that’s another story), whereas my first was Defcon 3 from weeks 5-20. The difference–I had moved much, much closer to my family, and my mother, grandmother, and daddy were constantly bringing/sending me things to eat, supplemented by my MIL and aunt, with baby #2. I really do think having loved ones around to insist that you sit down, put up your feet, and eat something for heaven’s sake makes a difference. Bless you to all you sweet mamas who are in the thick of it right now–especially if you don’t have help! Saying extra prayers for pregnant and especially pregnant and sick mamas tonight.
Catie H says
Yes, this:
“they will thrive, because they will do all the things. You will see. When you can’t, they will.”
I (used to) carry so much guilt when I’d announce what lunch was and someone was disappointed… so then I catered to their preference – despite feeling so lousy! Same goes with exciting daily agendas and adventures. If I can just KNOW deep down that they’re OK, and let the disappointed sighs kind of roll off my back during these harder times… they make do! And they have fun doing it. I just need to throw the basics and the boundaries out there, and they get through the rest.
Also, rewarding my kids for their good attitudes and helpful behavior did a lot of good for us this last 1st Trimester. I made peace with rewarding them with an afternoon movie or special treat if they worked hard all morning to stay quiet(ish), sweet, and on task.
Thank you Aunt Leila for all your helpful advice! I continue to draw on it often. 🙂
Becky g says
After really struggling to cook and eat during 2 pregnancies I now cook for my freezer whenever possible (It is my mantra to never make only one pot of soup/stew/chili, etc.). But, in my first pregnancy, I managed to survive (almost exclusively) on cooked elbow noodles in warm milk with lots of butter and salt. I know how that sounds. Don’t skimp on the butter or the salt.
Diana says
Love this article – thank you so much!! I’m sure it will bless many women. I’ve spent about ten years now researching morning sickness, and there is SO much material to delve into. I’ll come back and leave a detailed comment in a few weeks – after I’ve gotten through this first trimester, LOL!!
Thank you again!!
Rebekah says
I’m right in the middle of morning sickness with my sixth, and I have to say this one has been better than all the rest. Almost a breeze! I think what made the difference was having my bloodwork done and taking a high quality vit. D, iron, magnesium, and probiotic BEFORE I got pregnant. If you aren’t pregnant yet, go do your blood work!
Also, probiotics, fermented foods and cider vinegar for stomach acid related morning sickness!!!!!
Erin says
Thank you so much for posting this! I’m 20 weeks into my third pregnancy. My first one and this one were defcon 3 from conception to 14 weeks. Sadly, we lost our second baby at 6 weeks. A total lack of nausea was the very first sign that something was amiss. Experiencing a loss changed my perspective this time, but it was still so so hard. While b6/unisom didn’t seem to work the first time, it was life changing this time around. My midwife gave me very good advice to consistently take it for 2 weeks before judging its effectiveness. I was still sick and steadily dropping weight, but I was at least somewhat functional and by 2 weeks the sleepy effects were getting more manageable. The greatest irony was when I threw up the unisom, yikes! The fog has now lifted and while I don’t have my normal passion for cooking and for good food, I can at least get a fairly balanced meal on the table and eat a good portion of it.
The low acid comments are interesting, I’ve always had intense cravings for iced tea with tons of lemon and anything tomato/basil/vinegar based!
Victoria says
This is such a timely post! I had even considered writing to you to ask for a morning sickness post because I just felt like I was letting my whole family down. I have two little boys, 4 and 2, and one of them has multiple food allergies (milk, tree nuts, legumes (peanuts, lentils, chickpeas, soy [we can do green beans and regular beans cooked for 8 hours, and have been given permission to try the same thing with peas; I’m so excited to try pea soup soon!]) sesame, and fish)–and my husband recently found out he is gluten intolerant, which is a real blow for a family that relies on grains a lot. I told him, lovingly and honestly, that I couldn’t tailor meals for him right now, that he just has to fend for himself for the time being. He understood and has been patient about it–God bless our husbands…
I’m 11 weeks pregnant now, and I expect it would have gone more or less like the other two (defcons 4 and 3 respectively) if it wasn’t for taking B6. The midwife I saw this time let me in on the B6/Unisom combo. She suggested about 25 mg, 3x/day and half a unisom tab at night. It worked wonders, but after a few days my husband and I noticed disturbing personality changes. I experienced “emotional blunting” and irritability. I stopped taking Unisom but kept taking the B6. It isn’t quite as effective as doing both, but it still helps markedly. Most days it keeps me at about defcon 2 until evening. Then I just have to give up and go to bed. BUT, I may try some of the tricks I read in the comments: drink more water, try lemon or cider vinegar water and epsom salt baths.
I really appreciated your focus on cooking food at home. I had been searching other blogs (especially homesteader blogs since they usually do exclusively from-scratch cooking) for morning sickness advice, and even they would say they just order pizza or get carry out–not great options when you are living with food allergies. I think we’ve done many of the same simple meals you’ve listed (sans butter), but I hadn’t tried tossing pork or beef in the slow cooker with just tomato paste and a couple of spices. We are going to do that this week, for sure. Today I think I have enough energy to make bread. I haven’t done it in over a month, and we’ve sorely missed it! Nothing under $8/loaf is safe except Weight Watcher’s brand. Yuck!
And ladies, if somebody notices you are struggling and offers to make you food, just take it, even if you think you won’t be able to eat it yourself. At least it gives the husband and kids a little variety and you don’t have to struggle with the guilt that your kids aren’t being fed well enough. Like many others have said, I have been surprised that I can usually eat something that somebody else prepares.
Thanks again for this post, Auntie Leila, I really appreciate you telling us it’s okay to feed the kids the same “boring” things over and over again for two months! I feel better already!
Victoria says
Oh gosh! I got my defcons backwards. It doesn’t really make sense if you don’t label it correctly….
My first baby was defcon 2 and my second baby was defcon 3. My current pregnancy has had a lot more good days, meaning defcon 4 for the most part, until evening when nothing can stop the nausea from defeating me.
Leila says
Victoria, this defcon thing is my fault — my little light-hearted attempt at humor was a bit derailed by getting it wrong the first time! So then I went back and changed it, and now we’re all mixed up!!! LOL
Victoria says
…and 10 days later I finally read your kind reply…
You certainly made me feel better about being mixed up, though I would not be surprised at mixing things up on my own anyway. 🙂
And I did try salt baths twice in the last couple weeks, and it makes a noticeable difference that lasts about 5 days for me! So that was an exciting discovery.
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
My ‘baby’ is 7- so no more morning sickness for me- just a heads-up for mamas- if your nausea BEGINS in the 2nd trimester or third (with 4 pregnancies, I was only slightly ill the entire time- never threw up) this could be a sign of pre-eclampsia. With baby #4, I started throwing everything up at about week 24- no swelling, high blood pressure or headaches. By week 32, I finally complained to nurses and did a 24 hour urine collection to check for protein and ?. I was admitted to the hospital- was monitored for 2 days to give the steriods time to kick in for optimal help for baby’s lungs. C-section, I was in for 11 days and baby girl (healthy and 4 lbs) was in for 5 weeks.
Mary Eileen says
Boy some of you moms have been through so much!
I’ve never been horribly bad on the defcon scale but on the mint – if it helps you – Dr Bronners Peppermint Castile soap. I could not wash my face or shower with anything else during the first trimester of my last pregnancy. Floral or soapy smells were awful. If mint calms your nausea, check it out!
Sarah Pavel says
I didn’t read through this whole list, so apologies if this is a repeat to the above comments. If I had a quarter for every person told me “there’s this little trick, eat some crackers right when you wake up” I’d be a rich woman. But, as you pointed out, it’s protein you need most. If I started with crackers, I’d feel sick all day. Instead, I kept a little mini-cooler by the bed with a freezer pack and an individual greek yogurt in it. I’d eat it still laying down each morning. That settled me long enough to get up and eat an egg with cheddar cheese to really establish a “protein foundation” for the day. For some reason cheddar flavors were manageable when nothing else was – definitely if something sounds good, eat it right then!
Ashley says
Thank you for a very timely post! I’m currently 7 weeks along with baby number 2 and I’ve been exhausted. It’s crazy how tired I am and it’s so easy for me to feel like I shouldn’t be since I’m not very far along. Your advice to rest definitely spoke to my heart. 🙂
Jess says
My eleventh child is seven weeks old. Many years ago my husband and I took a Bradley childbirth class and one goal of the nutrition education was to eat 100 grams of protein every day. That’s a lot more protein than average, but I have never moved above defcon 2 by eating protein frequently all day. Prayers for all you blessed mamas!
Mrs. Oski says
Gentle reminder…these days, grocery stores have precooked rotisserie chickens and sometimes even other precooked meats. If you have a Costco membership or the like, excellent precooked chickens can be had for 4.99 each! Costco also has excellent high quality deli meats and cheeses as well as prepackaged fruit, veggie, and deli trays. And no smelling the cooking food.
CCZ says
I just tried the eating dates for delivery with my third baby (born in Nov.) and I am sold on it for all future pregnancies!
Rachel Meyer says
I’m a defcon 3 type of pregnant woman.
My best solution for eating was to eat in my bedroom or on the sofa, dimly lit, with my favorite TV show on. Sitting at the table made me vomit. Bright lights made me vomit. Staring at my food made me vomit. But I could usually nibble at a plate of food while focusing on the TV show. I watched more TV in those three months than in a typical year, but I survived!
Also, falling asleep for 20 minutes often reset the nausea away for a while, especially useful in the low blood sugar spiral. Lie down (maybe with my show again for distraction), dose for twenty minutes, eat immediately upon waking.
Other tips: Give up on the cloth diapers for now. Think about preschool for 3 months if you can swing it. Go outside as much as possible if it is less than 80 degrees. Have your husband prep lunch plates for everyone (including you) during the worst of it.
Raven says
I had dreadful morning sickness with my first (and only girl–I kinda think if I’d had any more girls I’d have been that sick again; estrogen poisoning or something). I was also working at the time, and I have always been proud I never up and barfed at work. I NEARLY barfed quite a lot (I was a nurse, you can imagine the smells). All that kept me from barfing was I kept an insulated coffee cup at my desk with a slice of fresh ginger, a slice of lemon, and I kept adding packets of sugar or honey and hot water and drinking it all day. It really did help. I still threw up every day for seven months. (Ginger ale did NOT help. Nor did your piddling saltines!)
I couldn’t stand the smell of the grocery store, which made cooking difficult. But when I was in nursing school and we had to do anatomy with cadavers, and some people got sick because of the smell of the formulin, they had us put Vicks vapo-rub under our noses so the menthol would be all we smelled. So I did that whenever I had to go to the grocery store. I still do it when I know I’m going to be in a stench for an extended period, and will need to not be distracted by the stench.
I ate things with as much protein and fat as possible when I could keep them down in interest of calories, figuring that carbs would follow (also I drank lots of sugar in the tea, so). I didn’t ever feel bad if I couldn’t eat what my family was eating, but I was only feeding my husband and a brother at the time, it would have been harder if I’d had little kids. And I tried to make sure what I ate wouldn’t be…er, AS horrible when/if it came back up. Yogurt and soft things were my friend. Hot peppers, not so much. (Even though sometimes spicy food was ironically easier to eat. Pregnancy is weird.)
I also want to emphasize that reaching out to any women you know–like from Bible study or playgroup or whatever–and just mentioning that you’re sick might be a good idea. There’s a lot of us out there who remember viscerally what it’s like to be so sick, and we would be so HAPPY to bring you a pot of soup.
Katy says
This is another great post!
I have had so, so, so much morning sickness with my 3; it was worse (Defcon 3) with the first (a boy) and the third (a girl), I think primarily because my eating habits were not great before these pregnancies. With #2 I’d been on a health kick, was at a good weight, and therefore had fewer of the (non-diabetic, PCOS) insulin spikes/dips that drive blood sugar fluctuations and resulting nausea.
So, with #2 I still vomited once a day (as opposed to 6-7x daily), but that is closer to Defcon 4 (that’s the walking quickly past the chicken but you can still set foot in a grocery store one, right?) than 3. So my first contribution to the collective wisdom is this: Healthy habits before pregnancy might, possibly, contribute to less morning sickness overall.
In the trenches, here are things that helped me all three times:
* Ginger ale – the weak watery Canada-whatsit kind, unfortunately, not the robust pineapply-lemony-and-real-gingery stuff I ordinarily prefer but found too flavorful when very sick
* Carrot juice, weirdly
* Very salty, very smooth tomato soup – no chunks, pun intended
* Buttered toast
* Grilled cheese
* In emergencies, a little bit of sour candy, a few sips of lemonade at a time, or like half a popsicle – but a large serving would lead later on to a blood sugar dip and hence more yacking
* Taking B vitamin complex from Trader Joe’s
* Lying down in the afternoon (the first time on my office floor for 10 minutes at a time; the second and third, on my toddler’s floor bed, sometimes reading a book, and letting the children take the room apart piece by piece — anything for a little quiet time)
* Not riding the metro (unfortunately not an option with #1, when working till due date)
* Having my husband cook instead of me (he’s a better cook anyway)
Things that helped me at Defcon 4 (can walk past the chicken but not touch, smell or eat it) but not at Defcon 3 (dragging around, yacking all day, LOL grocery shopping are you kidding me):
* Real-gingery ginger ale
* Peanut butter toast (I could do sprouted bread but not ordinary bread, weirdly)
* Plain buttery scrambled eggs
* Plain almonds, not roasted or salted
* Plain, whole milk yogurt
* Plain ground beef (cooked by superhero husband)
* Dried candied ginger, dried mango, dried pineapple
* Frozen tropical fruits like mango and pineapple
* Some fresh fruit, if really really plain, but even lots of normal fruits at this time seemed too… plant-y
* Applesauce
* Whole milk
* Light coconut milk
* Those bottles of green juice you can buy in the supermarket (avoid the ones with microbial algae like spirulina and dulse, though, since its safety hasn’t been studied in pregnancy)
* Having my husband do the grocery shopping (he’s also better at this than I am)
Things people recommend that never helped me, not at all, but might help you, dear reader of comments:
* Mints, mint tea, mint gum, mint anything
* Lemon ditto
* Chicken (LOL no)
* Crackers of any complexion (LOL double no)
* Fresh ginger (too plant-y)
* Plant-based foods (also too plant-y: beans, lentils, non-juiced vegetables – especially salad, LOL triple no)
Also praying from my heart for moms in this stage of things! It is hard, but it does pass (and bring new challenges with it, but at least you probably won’t be yacking during them).