The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Justice Antonin Scalia, great jurist, RIP.
- Especially for fathers to read, because we all need role models: Christopher Scalia on “My Father.”
- A good piece on some “key learnings” from Justice Scalia's full life. Do read the embedded interview in full — most edifying.
And from around and about:
- “Lost Lenten plans” — they happen to all of us, as my friend Bo Bonner writes in this essay about how We are Always in the Middle, Beginning.
- Another one for Dad, and maybe older kids: How to Develop the Situational Awareness of Jason Bourne from The Art of Manliness blog. Suki's comment: “This post gets into specifics about dangerous situations. I think Situational Awareness is also super important for being a good conversationalist — and just a good member of society.” We need to start thinking about this so that we can teach our children, little by little, to look around them and see what's going on, and what others need.
- We need you to look at this bridal bouquet that features an antler… and feathers. It weighed 10 lbs, apparently. And also, note to self, get some fabulous taxidermy for the centerpieces. Rosie: “Who doesn't have a fox on her wedding banquet table?!?” Deirdre, call your office.
- I believe it: Antidepressant Microbes In Soil: How Dirt Makes You Happy. If you haven't gardened because you are a little stand-offish or don't know what to do, it's hard to imagine how good you feel after you mess around in the dirt, planting things. That there are literally physical things that go up your hands and into your body, finding their way to your brain, just makes so much sense to me, now that I read about it!
- Also: need to find some guys to sit around singing like this at my table: Irish song in 7 parts (I didn't count them, taking it on faith alone).
- Hildegard of Bingen has been rediscovered, and with her, many medieval treasures. I haven't watched the videos on this page, but there is so much information here about her. What an amazing person!
- Our friend Kevin from St. Gregory the Great Parish* sent me this article about some specific habits of friendship, which the author calls a “kibbutz.” It's like our idea of the St. Greg's Pocket, but, I'm going to say, ours will take you further (right into friendships for your children)! But I like the practical ideas here and they will definitely work in your Pocket. Just remember my tips too; follow the links.
*Will you be there at St. Gregory's on Monday? I hope to see you at the reception after the Solemn High Mass!
From the archives: Five answers from Auntie Therese that will instantly calm you down.
~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~
Terri says
Thank you for all the great links. I especially enjoyed the Scalia articles. “Vatican roulette”! 🙂
Carol Kennedy says
Love the Irish singing! That song is a family favorite around here, we usually sing along with the recording that blares most Saturday or Sunday mornings! I think we first heard of the song in a Swallows and Amazons book…good literature has often led us to discover new music!
K says
Thank you for posting all of these fascinating links! The gardening link doesn’t seem to be working. Could you point me in the right direction?
Mrs. B. says
Re: the wedding bouquet, I went to see and my first thought was: Oh my goodness, what’s the fox doing inside a block of ice??? I wonder if the bride managed to preserve her bouquet: that was a challenging one…
Yes, Justice Scalia will be missed, and not simply as a jurist.
Carol Kennedy says
I wasn’t able to get to the link about soil being good for you, but the subject made me wonder if I should off my garden gloves to get the full effect.
Bethanne says
I agree with Suki about situational awareness making us better citizens: noticing that run-away grocery cart before it hits a car, helping an elderly lady when she drops her keys in the parking lot, etc. I try to teach the kids that they need to be aware of who is around them or when something is amiss. Not just for their own safety, but for the safety of others. Once we were eating at a restaurant and a man in a wheel chair could not both open the door and get himself out the door. My daughter got up and opened the door for him in a crowded restaurant because she was paying attention. She saw he was in need of help. My husband calls that the “Mary Power.” It’s like Mary telling Jesus, “They have no wine.” Our Blessed Mother had situational awareness, too.
Leila says
I fixed the garden link, so just reload your page and it will work now! Enjoy!
Karen says
Perhaps A. Leila would fill in the details that the kibbutz friendship author left vague. He wrote that every other week, “rain or shine”, in San Francisco, they meet “in the same place”. Would that be a public place? Or private place?
If public, how do the children “typically play on their own”? Don’t they need watching? In a private space, the kids could play on their own. But then, in a private space, or even a public space, how does each couple “bring their own food so there’s no prep or cleanup”? Are there Food Fairies? All food requires prep and cleanup? If only to unwrap and throw away the fast food wrappings, not to mention the crumbs that fall, ketchup squirted everywhere, and sticky drinks spilled. Are they eating in a restaurant? If so, how are the kids playing on their own? If eating in a family restaurant, isn’t the noise too great for good conversation? If they are eating in a park, how do they meet “rain or shine”? If they are eating at a home, how is there “no prep or cleanup”? Someone has to make sure there is a pathway from the door to the living room and the sofas clear of toys and books.
This male-written article seems to delightfully skip over the details of space, food prep, cleanup, and childcare. He is happier now. But this tired mom wants to know how to be happier, too.
A. Leila, do you have answers to a “rain or shine” meeting place with food that requires “no prep or cleanup”?
Leila says
Ha! Karen — yes, this “male-written” article does leave a few things out!
Maybe the answer is — have 1.0 children? Give them IPads?
I dunno.
Shine — playground.
Rain — meet at the friend’s house with the big finished basement.
Make the kids eat their snack at the table ONLY if you are indoors. Good guests do NOT let their kids run around with food or drink!
1/2 hour before leaving, the guests take it upon themselves to stop talking and go supervise the kids putting away all the toys — in their designated places. Ask a resident kid where things go — don’t just pile them in a heap.
Someone grabs the vacuum, someone grabs the broom, someone wipes the counters, someone watches the 1 yos so that things don’t get pulled down as fast as they are put up.
It’s the “crack clean-up team” in action!
At our get-togethers, we bring food to share. It’s more fun that way.
Cultivate friendships with some moms who *already have* 10 and 12 yos and older — those kids are excellent at organizing the littles.
When there are lots of kids, you won’t be able to talk the whole time — but make the effort. If you stop hovering over your kids, set up the house so that things aren’t readily accessible to errant toddlers, and do some strategic ignoring, you can get some quality time in with your friends.
The moms who hover and chase their kids all over… well, they just won’t be able to converse. It takes a while, but if you stick with it, you can make it happen (maybe 65-80% of the time — which is nice :).
Maya says
I was thinking something similar. We used to get together pretty regularly w about 5 other couples. We were newly married and had a few babies. Now we have 25 kids in the group and it feels like insanity to get together. There are many toddlers and most kids are under 8.
Leila says
Maya, yes, same happened here. Stick with it though! Even if it’s twice a year at the state park with all the families, do it.
Other times, you can do just couples of an evening for wine, cheese, and dessert maybe.
You will see — this stage only lasts what, 10 years 🙂
Then you will go back to reasonable levels of kids — other than the new young families that join you!
Karen says
Thank you for the details.
Lisa G. says
I also was a bit alarmed at the fox, but maybe it belonged to the museum, hopefully? Anyway, the soil microbe article was welcome; I’m really going to try and increase the time I spend on my gardening this year.
Denise says
Oh I just laughed and laughed at the antler bouquet. So so crazy! And the fox on the table reminded me of the Christmas story when the Chinese cooks bring out the goose and the DAD SAYS “he’s smiling at us!” A ten pound bouquet -she must be used to toting a heavy hunting rifle.
Leila says
Heh, something tells me she is NOT used to toting a heavy hunting rifle, not that I’m judging her 😉
Andi says
I suppose Bits and Pieces is the best place to ask this question (since i gave up Facebook for Lent). I’m planning a kitchen re-paint, and desperately want to find your sage advice about how to achieve the perfect shade of yellow. I remember reading it, but for the life of me can’t find the blog post about it! Can you direct me please? Many thanks!
Leila says
Andi, here is the post where I discuss the kitchen paint. http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2008/09/dark-70s-wood-bad-bright-yellow-paint/
I used Benjamin Moore’s Hawthorne Yellow. It’s one of their historic paint colors which I find usually work best in our New Englamd house.
Also check out California Paint choices. A lot depends on where you live, what style your house is, and what light you have in your kitchen. Sometimes a yellowy white ends up reading as a lovely, cheerful sunny color. Here, it just looks white!
Andi says
Thank you!
Donna L. says
Hi Andi~
I painted my kitchen and dining and living room area a buttery yellow– “Soleil” from Sherwin Williams—and I love it! We have long, gray winters with little snow, so the cheerful warmth I find in my walls!
Have fun choosing your paint!
Kelsey says
I have a cookbook based off of St. Hildegard’s writings that I really like. It’s a modern book but translated from French, so it’s sometimes a bit vague, but everything I’ve made from it has been delicious – even the recipes I wasn’t so sure about! Here’s the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/From-Saint-Hildegards-Kitchen-Health/dp/0764819518
Robin says
Hope it’s okay that I’m taking full credit for you being able to say “my friend Bo Bonner”! 🙂 We so enjoyed hosting you in Wichita back in September. Mwah!
Leila says
Such a wonderful trip for me! Thank you, Robin!
Jen says
But I do have a question about aunt Therese’s advice…how does one leave fun time for the afternoon when there are always napping babies and toddlers? Who NEED their naps? And right after nap begins witching hour? Mornings seem like fun time to us but I do struggle to get much homeschooling done ever…
Leila says
Jen, Therese would definitely say that every season is different. Yes, there is that time where you have only littles, and afternoons are taken up with naps. Auntie Leila says, this season of your life really isn’t about homeschooling. It’s about you preparing yourself for what comes next by ALSO NAPPING and if not actually napping, doing good reading (that is also enjoyable) — check out the “foundational” books in the Library Project (just search on the blog). Since you aren’t homeschooling (narrowly defined — but of course you are educating just by how you live), mornings are for getting together with other young moms, going to the playground, and what have you.
When you enter the other season, where yes, there may be babies napping but there are also bigs running around, schooling gets done mostly in the morning. Even in school, educators know that the morning is when the heavy-duty studying happens! They don’t schedule chemistry at 2pm.
Fortunately, homeschooling is efficient. So the older children can study with a lot of concentration early, and then they should be allowed to go outside to play in the afternoon. Therese is saying that this is the time that you can get together with your friends. The schedule can be tweaked so that naptime for littles ends by 2 and you can be playing/visiting for at least 2 hours while your supper is in the slow cooker maybe! All this is made easier if you have a standing appointment at the playground and you and your friends get there when you can. Even if it is just once a week!
Even if you are resting with the baby, your bigs should be doing their own thing, whether it’s building Lego castles, running around in the neighborhood, or working on some project of their own.
What she’s saying is — do look at the day as having a rhythm. Don’t expect to grind along with formal studies and lessons all day. Let the children play at set times — and this will end up being in the afternoon for most people.