I'm here with Sukie as we await the birth of Freddie's baby brother. (So if the photo is sideways or something, please forgive me!)
I'm thinking of you as my inbox is somewhat overflowing with advice-seeking on Advent and Christmas, and I sense a special urgency to answer these questions because on the one hand, everything depends on our living our Advent aright so that we may worship the Incarnate God on Christmas morning — and on the other, this living aright is not complicated and I hate to see you get stressed out. Is Pinterest stressing you out?
But I have children! you cry. And I answer: “Then nothing will be easier than living this Advent, for is it not as a little child that He came into this world?”
Simply because Jesus became a tiny baby for our delight and wonder, He made it so that we would discover everything we need to know by means of this moment. What's hard for us to understand is that it's in the very humbleness of His coming that we'll find the key.
And a little part of you saying, “Does it really matter? Can't we just do things the way everyone else does them?” But knowing that when January rolls around, you will have a bad taste in your mouth because of an opportunity missed, even if you don't quite know what that opportunity was…
Here's the thing. The Incarnation is the crucial event of the universe. God, uncreated, eternal, perfect, chose to send His only begotten Son to enter time and history with a human nature. This human nature is perfectly united with the divine nature of this Second Person of the Trinity. He didn't pretend to be a baby. He was a baby.
Everyone knows that there is something about this that is mysterious and compelling. Even those who don't believe simply must celebrate something. But of course, we wouldn't think to have lights or decorations or anything at all if it weren't for Jesus' birth in Bethlehem, a birth that contains within it His death and resurrection and all that was to come.
And it's not too much to say that the way we celebrate this event can and ought to be the pivot on which the whole education in the faith of our children turns — as well as our own spiritual growth.
That is, if you ask the question, “How do I teach my children (very young and older too) the faith?” — and I'm sure this, this, is the burning question! The answer is, “By celebrating Christmas aright.”
All the wonder, all the promise, the happy ending we all seek:
“Christmas Day, encircling all our limited world like a magic ring, left nothing out for us to miss or seek; bound together all our home enjoyments, affections, and hopes; grouped everything and everyone around the Christmas fire; and made the little pictures shining in our bright young eyes, complete.” (Charles Dickens, quoted at the beginning of a book Habou and I highly recommend, Cradle of Redeeming Love: The Theology of the Christmas Mystery, by John Saward.)
It's just that, alas, most of us are not piling into the sleigh to go to Midnight Mass, returning to a simple wassail lovingly prepared by devoted hands to break the fast. We aren't living in a Tasha Tudor book or a Dickens novel. I for one wish we were!
Sounds amazing.
So we are in that terrible and oxymoronic predicament of having to sort of invent traditions — often while fending off well meaning (or sometimes bitter) relatives (and even some at church!) who have liturgy-thwarting ideas.
At least, this is what the lovely readers are telling me in their emails.
I will try to make this a little series on preparing for Advent (“Preparing for the season of preparation?” Rosie asked me… but sometimes a pep talk for thought and prayer helps) in the coming week.
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
I’m sure that everyone is saying a prayer for the new mother- how exciting!
I’m looking forward to this series- Byzantine Catholics start Advent every year on November 15th (St Philip’s fast) so it is coming up! We have a Jesse tree, so there’s that….I do want to bake more…any easy recipes?
Robin says
Leila,
I, for one, cannot wait for this series of “preparing for the season of preparation”! I have been searching your blog for days now, for something just like this. I am a relatively new Catholic (although long-time Christian) and just know there are simple ways to enter into this season with my family. I have your book, but I would like to hear the concrete ways you are going to live the season in your home now that it is a relatively empty nest most of the time. I, too, have one child left in college ( all the others are only home for holidays and occasional weekends), but I want to celebrate the whole season with my husband even though it is just the two of us. Thank you for taking the time to gather this for your readers.
Dixie says
Robin, do you and your husband ever say evening prayer (vespers) or night prayer together? I mean the prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours. Maybe that would be a nice ritual for Advent (at least) — turn off the lights, light a candle, say the prayers, add your own prayers, and linger together over a little wine. Anything that emphasizes both the darkness of this time of year and the light that will come into it is so beautiful and meaningful for Advent. God bless!
Jana says
Robin – It’s never too late! When I was growing up, my family did the Jesse Tree for the first time when I was on Christmas break from college! I still have the dear little wooden giraffe that my Dad made for Noah’s Ark. It was only my parents and whichever grown children/friends happened to be over each evening, but we had a great time. We made sure to read the readings at dinnertime, but afterward, everyone just made their own thing to hang on the tree. Some were of drawn or cut paper or painted or sewn, and Dad usually disappeared downstairs for a bit and then came up with some little wooden whittled thing. It’s one of my cherished memories, and I hope you will find some ‘new traditions’ that work for you. A Blessed Advent to you!
Betsy M says
Looking forward to the upcoming posts!
Tarynkay says
I am looking forward to this series!
My mom is here awaiting the birth of our second son as well! I am due today, so sometime between now and Thanksgiving. I feel like this time of waiting is sort of a personal dress rehearsal for the time of waiting during Advent. Everyone is so impatient for the baby to get here already, much like the stores are putting up Christmas decorations before the jack o’lanterns are even on clearance.
Rachel says
So looking forward to the rest of this series! Moving to our house in the country and setting up our gobby farm this summer has made our domestic faith practices take a back seat to fence building and and learning to farm ad we go, so I am looking forward to advent and the slower pace of this season to really get back into a better prayer life and habits, especially since our son is nearly three and a half and I feel like I’m missing a window to instill faith and good prayer habits in him.
Jana says
Three cheers for Advent! My Momma always said that you do not have to do *everything* every year in order for it to be a tradition. Certain essentials, Advent wreath, Jesse Tree, Christmas tree, what you will, but the other things can come and go every few years if times are tough, and the children will still have the memory of traditions like making the gingerbread village/caroling parties/cross-country skiing to Midnight Mass and/or all the other things that we maybe did three times total in the space of twenty. Also, buying pink and purple candles in bulk helps. Also, we found that presents (plural) are totally not needed for little kids to have a magical Christmas. They are not born expecting presents! They learn that from the ‘Liturgy-thwarters’ : ) For my little tiny ones, presents are stressful. Having a tree in the house with lights on it is enough to delight a child. When we wait to cut and decorate the tree until Christmas Eve and let them fall asleep around it, we feel like God’s holy angels are hovering ’round.
Donna L. says
Blessings to the new babe and Momma–and GrandMother, too!
I laughed out loud when I ready the title of this – “help me gird my loins for advent and Christmas!”–Yes!
Love,
Donna
Anamaria says
Blessings to the new babe and Momma–and GrandMother, too!
I laughed out loud when I ready the title of this – “help me gird my loins for advent and Christmas!”–Yes!
Love,
Donna
Katie King says
When my husband and I returned to the Church a decade ago, the first thing we sought to revise was our whole attitude towards this season. You are right that simplifying it, making it beautiful and emphasizing the anticipation and the sheer joy at the moment of His Incarnation . . . this is what we are aiming to do. Every year I am compelled to think it through and get it right, and still to simplify further and further. I am looking forward to your thoughts on all of this!
Melanie Statom says
Gertrud Mueller Nelson’s, ” To Dance with God: Family Ritual and Community Celebration “, Paulist Press, is a wonderful resource…breathing new life and meaning into the ever ancient ever new Mysteries. Check out her chapters on Advent and Christmas!
Annie D says
Oh, Auntie Leila, preach it! This is so vital! My husband told me when we were dating that all the wonder of Christmas is right there in the story of the first Christmas, without dragging in Santa. Our four grown children, ages 32 down to 18, are all strong believers in Christ. We did our best to live our faith with them, and Christmas was a priceless opportunity to do that.
Mrs. B. says
Yes, how do we teach them the faith? Even in this, we walk by faith and not by sight – we’re never really sure that what we do will have the influence we hope for. Men have always relied on traditions (and Tradition) exactly because that’s the body of things that have worked – and that’s why we now all feel like the rug has been pulled from under us, because traditions at some point got a bad name and were tossed away.
One thing I try to remember is that a parent’s job is not God’s job: we spread the feast of faith in front of our children, and we live it as best as we know as a family, we plant a seed, but then the seed is in God’s hands. In a sense, life at home with children is a long Advent for them, a preparation for that moment when they have to say their own personal Yes to God.
Looking forward to your posts, Leila!