The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
“Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love.”
This sentence was written by Karol Wojtyla, the man who would become John Paul II, beloved Pope and saint, in his book Love and Responsibility, the precursor to his great work on Christian anthropology — Man and Woman He Created Them.
I read the quote somewhere and it took me by surprise. I think things have changed in the last ten years or so. I think that a sentence like this now elicits an interior pause in someone who has been exposed to the rising powers of Political Correctness… do you feel it? A little moment — hardly a moment — before you assent? To that “only”?
Maybe it's just me. But I feel it.
He doesn't say, “Only the chaste man and the chaste woman can love each other,” although that's implicit. (He definitely does not say, “There are many ways of loving that can co-exist with a lack of chastity.”) He says “are capable of true love.” Full stop. Love of… anything and everything! Of God!
Of course, right away, you know it's a way of saying something Jesus Christ said: “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8) For seeing — contemplation — is how we possess God in this imperfect world of ours. Josef Pieper, in Happiness and Contemplation, quotes Augustine: “Our whole reward is seeing.” And the epigraph of the book, from Konrad Weiss, is this: “Contemplation [seeing] does not rest until it has found the object which dazzles it.”
That seeing, which is the ultimate acceptance of the gift of God, can only be acquired by means of a pure heart — of chastity, in short.
So this is what I've been thinking about, on and off, for the more than a week since I read the quote.
I just wanted to tell you.
This week's links:
- The idea that seeing, contemplation, and purity of heart that allows us to receive the gift of God may be hard for us to understand or accept because we are functional modernists (we can hardly help it, so surrounded are we). Read this St. Peter's List of points: 4 Steps to Understand the Crisis of Modernity.
- Benedict on how to read St. Thomas Aquinas (the guide for “seeing/contemplation” and also from St. Peter's List).
- Liturgical terrorists can be stopped! “[The tambourine player] was not filled with the Holy Spirit,” explains the deputy who tased her.
- Seems helpful: A list of states that ban those community bans on clotheslines. So you have the winter to figure out your drying yard!
- A map of Europe according to culinary horror! If you click on the feed, you will find all sorts of maps. Not vouching for any of it but it's amusing.
- Ronald Reagan, with his customary self-deprecation, on his flawed baseball career: 100 Years of Ronald Reagan and Baseball.
- As soon as Rosie and I saw this story, we loved it: High school boys serving as pall-bearers at funerals for homeless veterans. I saw other, similar stories as well. Did you know that burying the dead is a corporal work of mercy? What a wonderful act of service these boys are providing. I am ashamed to say I never thought of it.
- I think this article about mis-diagnosing autism is well worth a read. I guess I want to say that in general, to navigate parenthood one must cultivate two things: observation and study of human nature (especially children and their development, but also in experts and their ways) and a certain confidence in one's judgement.
- A good long read, possibly related to my musings above: J. Budziszewski on Natural Law Revealed.
I was working in the garden this week, putting the beds to bed and pulling out dead stuff.
In addition to the many, many butternut squashes that I harvested last month, I found these last three as I was cleaning up:
Laura Jeanne says
Thank you, as always Leila, for the interesting links. I appreciate this opportunity each weekend to stretch my brain a bit by reading something intelligent before I rush off to do the grocery shopping and errands. 🙂
I’m a little bit envious of your squash. I grew a bountiful squash crop last year, but this year I got them into the ground too late, and then I let the squash patch get filled up with weeds, and the end result was that I only ended up with one full sized squash before the vines were killed by frost, and that squash wasn’t even fully ripe. Next year will be better, because I can’t do without homegrown squash, it’s just the best.
Leila says
Laura Jeanne, my actual real squash patch was like that — an animal was chowing down on all the lovely blossoms 🙁
But this rogue plant that I chucked onto the hill, wowzas.
Jess says
The clothesline link is to the wrong thing — Culinary Horrors of Europe, which was very funny, FYI. Thanks for the beautiful reflection on chastity.
Leila says
Thanks, Jess! And I fixed the link.
Janet says
The link on stopping liturgical terrorism was not worthy of you. A woman who appeared to be mentally disturbed was successfully removed from a worship service–well and good. That police felt justified, and even “forced” to pepper spray and tase an unarmed middle aged woman is outrageous. A Taser is a “less deadly” weapon which should only be used in situations where lives are at risk and the only alternative is to use a gun with bullets. People die from being tasered, and mentally disturbed, older people are especially at risk. The addition of pepper spray increase the risk of asphyxiation. Joking about Tasers contibutes to their careless overuse.
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/other/are-tasers-too-deadly-be-called-non-lethal-f8C11077668
Leila says
Hi Janet — to be honest, I’m the one who called it “liturgical terrorism” in a tongue-in-cheek way, and what I was mocking was the tambourine-playing, not the mental illness or tasing. You are probably right. God bless,
Leila
Janet says
Thanks Leila–I didn’t mean to sound so hostile–I knew you were commenting on the tambourine [and I thoroughly agree], but the jokes about Tasers in the article touched a nerve [inadvertant pun], and in trying to be succinct, I lost the tone I meant to convey. Just goes to show that you are a much better writer than I will ever be; you manage to talk about delicate and potentially divisive topics in such a warm, non-confrontational way.
Leila says
Well, I wouldn’t describe myself as non-confrontational LOL but thanks 🙂
Kaitlin @ More Like Mary says
Your weekly links are one of the highlights of my week Leila. I always enjoy reading what you find online.
While I understand that Autism is an incredibly sensitive topic, I feel obligated to caution other readers from reading too much into that article from Salon. As a parent, I really do understand what you mean when you say to “cultivate observation and study of human nature “. But I’m also a speech therapist and autism researcher and found many, many errors in the article that could be detrimental to children (especially if they led a parent into thinking that their child didn’t need intervention because of the author’s claims.) Our research aim is to diagnose autism as early as possible (18 months or before) and to train others to do the same because the data shows how much early intervention improves overall quality of life. Certainly some types of therapy can be harmful (I’m not a fan of ABA, for example) but a social-pragmatic therapy approach has no risk to squashing the unique nature and interests of each child and makes tremendous gains in improving behaviors that make it difficult for children to function in the real world.
It seems to me that the author has much too negative and narrow view of what autism really is. Just because William can engage in a pretend shooting match means that he can’t possible have autism??? Not in the slightest. Children with autism can do all kinds of wonderful things.
Individuals with autism bring so much to the world and offer all of us a totally different perspective on life that we otherwise wouldn’t have. I think the author would agree. But to dismiss the incredible difficulties that also accompany it by stating that it isn’t autism (and perhaps that then intervention is not needed?) is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It’s a both/and situation. Always. We can both admire the uniqueness of children and adults with autism and seek to lesson their difficulties and help them engage in everyday activities in a way that will help them reach their true potential.
Kaitlin @ More Like Mary says
Edit, I meant to say: As a parent, I really do understand what you mean when you say to “cultivate observation and study of human nature….and certain confidence in one’s judgement.”
Tamsin says
Absolutely! I completely agree with your comment. I came to the comments section to essentially say what you have here!
Rebecca says
Hi Leila,
One practical list that would be very helpful that you mention in your post on purity is a movie list for family movie night. I am always looking for good movies to enjoy with my boys on a Saturday night and I spend a great deal of time researching, watching trailers and trying to find things that we can all enjoy that aren’t offensive in some way or other.
With deep thanks for all that you do and the wonderful practical help and inspiration that you provide,
Rebecca
Leila says
Rebecca, I’d love to start a list. I just… ugh so much to write about!! 🙂
Mom2teens says
Kids-in-mind.com is a website I like for determining whether a movie is appropriate. They give a numerical rating for various possibly offensive material, but more importantly, a detailed description of everything in the movie.
Kim says
I interpret ” pure of heart” to mean one who has surrendered themselves totally to the Lord.
Perhaps that is the result of my Jesuit influenced education. I don’t take it literally to mean “chaste”
Janet says
Thank you for the thoughtful link on over-diagnosis of autism.
These excerpts seem key:
“Of the two hundred autism assessment programs his team surveyed across the country, many of which were located in prestigious medical centers, only 10 percent emphasized the need to observe a child along with a parent or guardian for more than ten minutes as they spontaneously interacted together.
For a sizable percentage of toddlers who don’t transition well to new surroundings, freeze up with strangers, or temporarily dread being apart from a parent, the formal nature of a structured autism assessment can lead to their becoming mute, hiding under a table, avoiding eye contact, hand flapping, or exhibiting any number of other self-soothing behaviors that get misinterpreted as autistic-like.”
We live in such a fallen culture that all sorts of people who have spent very little time with a child and/or never shown warmth or interest, feel justified in telling parents they need to get a professional diagnosis.
Atlantic Monthly offers another perspective on children who can be easily mislabeled
“the very genes that give us the most trouble as a species, causing behaviors that are self-destructive and antisocial, also underlie humankind’s phenomenal adaptability[…]. With a bad environment and poor parenting, orchid children can end up depressed, drug-addicted, or in jail—but with the right environment and good parenting, they can grow up to be society’s most creative, successful, and happy people.”
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/12/the-science-of-success/307761/
Lisa says
WOW, that is a very interesting article. I had never heard of the orchid theory before but it makes so much sense. Thanks for the link.
Janet says
The orchid theory actually comes in for a lot of ridicule–people parodying parents who are said to claim “My child is such a delicate orchid,” where the parodist sees the child an undisciplined brat who needs to toughen up.
But I see a lot of truth in it. At any rate, my children were often criticized for being “too quiet”–sort of the opposite of brat. But they were not “too quiet” when someone showed genuine warmth and interest, or at least made an attempt at real conversation. They just didn’t like to run around screaming with herds of kids they didn’t know. Not sure what the critics wanted me to do; perhaps randomly yell and punish when my kids had done nothing wrong,so they would learn not to react to injustice and get in the habit of yelling?
Becky says
Roughly once a year, from the time Charlie was 4 through 8, I had at least 1 conversation per school year where I explained that Charlie wasn’t autistic, he was your straight up boy with an engineering bent. He is a classic introvert. He is quirky. His is a kinesthetic thinker, just like his dad. He will spend an hour on a swing or running laps around the back yard and when he comes in, he will tell you about how he was trying to figure out how to get a robot to drive on the ceiling (I think it was an offshoot of roombas for ceilings). He would rather tinker with things than chat. He is easily overstimulated and doesn’t like big crowds or noisy rooms so a classroom full of 5 year olds will invoke some stress (also a classic introvert trait). He is insanely stubborn but will never actually argue with authority, he will just quietly continue to do what it was he wanted to do or just retreat into silence.
But, I got my Master’s degree in Early Childhood Special Ed. I spent a lot of time with kids with autism. I have a very firm grasp on milestones and range of abilities and key indicators. If I hadn’t had that background, Charlie would have likely received a label of autism and be living a very different life now.
On the other hand, my spidey sense screamed at me with my daughter, who wasn’t flagged by anyone at all. She was born with a cataract in one eye that would have left her partially blind but it’s one of those 1 in 50,000 sorts of things that is very hard to catch before significant damage is done. I pushed and pushed for the doctor to check her eyes at every exam because something just didn’t seem right. She was diagnosed a little before age 3 and received treatment. She will always need glasses but avoided anything more serious.
eclare says
Thank you for that Karol Wojtyla quote! Very affirming.
jennybrown says
Yes, I feel it! I have not heard that quote before and it is sticking with me now. Thank you!