Yesterday in the comments Karen asked, “But how will you keep it that way?”
Meaning the closet.
Dear Karen,
The problem was never with the stuff itself. As I said, it was remarkably not in a tangle, despite years of neglect on my part. No, the problem was with the closet itself, and actually, I think if we talk about it a little, you will see how it is that anyone can keep the toy area reasonably neat and tidy. With fluctuations.
Of course, part of the way I personally will keep it that way is that nothing that is out of the reach of very little hands is accessible by anyone under the age of 17, so how messy can it get, at this point?
And the people who do come here with littles are very good about making sure everything is the way it was found.
But that doesn't mean that it wasn't possible to have things this way all along. It is.
No, the real issue was the closet itself. The reason things were like this —
— is simply that I, the household manager, did not ever ever ever ever want to go in there. It was too dismal, unclean-able, and neglected. And everyone who would have played with those things is gone, pretty much.
The proper way to clean something, as I have told you when we went on our Reasonably Clean House journey together, is to pull everything out, clean the space, sort and clean the things, and put back what truly belongs there. You can see an actual tutorial, on this process in this post.
This is true for everything. Even things that clean other things — like dishwashers and washing machines — occasionally have to be pulled out, scoured out, and put back the way you want them! So, how much more a toy closet.
But that assumes that the space can be cleaned and that you would want to try. Here is the reason I tell you to do what I didn't manage myself: make sure you get the closets repaired and painted before you put anything in them, even if it means having things out for a while! I did that in this house for many of the closets, but just didn't get to this one in time.
People might be frustrated with where they keep their games and toys and skeptical that my closet will remain fabulous, and I will address their assumptions one by one. Not yours, Karen, because no doubt you are actually a good housekeeper yourself, but others' assumptions.
1. The space doesn't matter — it's only for storing things.
No. The space matters. Whether it's a part of the room or an actual closet or under the beds, it needs to be something that you can clean when it's empty. The actual surfaces have to be free of gaping holes or torn carpet or what have you. They have to be finished in a way that when they are wiped down they actually look clean. This is something to work on. Having lived in old houses most of my adult life, I know the issues. Just be prepared to consider that it's not your cleaning that's at fault, it's the space itself!
2. Shelves don't matter.
No. They do matter.
You can't pile things on the floor and then continue piling. Maybe one thing that I did appreciate so much about this closet was the shelves — to the point that I thought #1 wasn't important, especially in light of all the other projects in the house that needed attention. So I am here to tell you that shelves make a huge difference to how you can organize stuff. It's the shelves that kept this confrontation of mine from being devastating. As it was, it was only slightly overwhelming (mainly because we had the blessing of being able to pay someone to do the work of repairing and painting!).
3. If everyone puts things back into the proper place, I will never have to clean.
Well, yes, they need to put things back — We Are In It Together, after all! — but no, it's still the manager's responsibility in the end (not that you can't delegate most of that responsibility — but not all).
Let's look at this.
Are things arranged so that there is a good chance they'd get back in their spots? For instance, the bins on the floor hold legos, duplos, blocks, and playmobil. Each bin is large enough to hold its contents. (Sorry about the pictures — the closet is hard to get an angle on, and now it's dark and stormy out so we will have to do with the ones I have).
These are the toys that are most likely to be pulled out — and it's not hard to get the bins back. Things with fiddly pieces are stored higher — in ascending order of likelihood to be a) a terrible mess if spilled and b) difficult to put away. (My ceilings are high, so to give you the scale, that 3rd shelf is actually my eye level. Granted, I am short.)
Don't put the 1000 piece puzzles within reach of even a six-year old. Don't even put the dominoes or playing cards really within reach. There needs to be some sort of actual thought process that has occurred before these many-pieced games get taken down. And maybe a stool-getting process as well.
So it's partly how clever you are at arranging in the first place. Low-down things shouldn't be stacked more than two items high. They should be spaced out on the self. If this is a problem, do some trimming of your inventory, because it just won't work to expect young children to cope with piles and stacks of toys. (A commenter in the first closet post mentioned rotating toys out, storing some in bins under beds. I did that too and heartily recommend it. They don't need all their things all the time.)
You should consider how annoyed you would be if the whole thing were spilled out. I am okay with two containers of army guys being spilled out (they are in those blue lego tubs). But, it kind of gives me an anxiety attack if the bingo game is spilled out. (That's mainly because if one number is lost, the whole thing is ruined.) So the bingo game goes on the top shelf. Not that I care about that game, but it would take an effort even to know a number has been lost.
It's also a question of inspection and training. Even a three-year old will put things back if you spend some time asking him to, helping him, and making sure he did. It takes a while but it pays off in the end. If he's Pippo, he will consider putting things back part of the process of playing with it, and simply not understand a child who doesn't do that.
But — sometimes you need to rush out of the house, and sometimes the three-year old has a meltdown, and sometimes ten three-year olds are over to play, and sometimes everyone was just having a lot of fun and a lot of things got taken out, rules or no rules.
So every day there has to be a time when things are sorted through and someone makes sure that in fact, things got put away properly. That's The Blitz, and it will keep you sane.
4. So if they don't put things back where they found them, it's their fault, not mine, if the closet is messy.
Well, no. Not that it would even help to think this!
Occasionally this area needs real attention, and the only person with the big picture is you. You have to notice that a toy in front of all the others gets things messy but isn't actually enjoyed. You have to get bigger bins for a growing collection of train tracks. You have to throw away puzzles with missing pieces or broken games. So every once in a while (probably during your once-a-week cleaning of the room — that's The Moderate Clean), you need to go in there and really straighten things out. Re-arrange, dust, and tidy. A large child (somewhere over the age of reason) could be given this job with you just coming in to inspect. Some really get offended if things aren't kept neatly — there's your man.
5. Then that should do it — just the moderate clean?
Nope. The Deep Clean is still a necessity. I always feel that the thing that needs to be deep cleaned will let you know it. You just won't be able to take it any more. And really, only you can do it. Pull every single thing out, vacuum from top to bottom, wash down if necessary, air out, and then put things back.
Be critical. Only what belongs there gets to go there.
The reason things were a jumble in my closet was that I couldn't face the closet itself. But now it's a joy even to open the door!
So who wouldn't want to make sure that only puzzles are on the puzzle shelf, or only board games on the board game shelf!
By the way, children are perfectly happy being given the job of making sure that only legos are in the lego bin and playmobil in the playmobil bin. That's as good as playing to them.
Okay? Are we good? You can do it!
Mona says
“But now it’s a joy even to open the door.” How true. Sometimes after I’ve gotten something really neat and tidy I just have to keep opening the door to look at it!
Caitlin says
Such a timely post, as the toy situation in our house is nearing critical levels. My problem is that I really don’t have a closet to store toys in (!!!!) and the open basket concept in my living room is not quite working for my two year old. I need to organize and the reason I haven’t is that well, it feels overwhelming. I would appreciate any tips regarding toy storage for the living room that doesn’t require a closet!
b says
At one point, it seemed like every mom I knew had the same open bin set of wood shelves as part of their toy storage. I never got one because I didn’t like how it fit or functioned with a smaller child. Instead, I got several different clear lidded bins that could stack and tried to put different categories in each bin. You can do a bunch of smaller bins if you have smaller items, but that can be more awkward. One very useful feature was that not every bin was able to be opened at the same age, so the child would have to stop and clean up and ask for help to switch bins, which helped keep things under control.
KarenTrina says
This is basically what I did, too. My husband made a tall, wide shelf unit that plastic tubs and bins fit on. I admit, when we built our house, we had a room that most of the toys stayed in so the children didn’t really keep toys in their bedroom. If they wanted to play with a toy, they didn’t get another one until that one was put back in the tub. Admittedly, sometimes this meant Lincoln Logs were on the floor and ‘in progress’ for several days, but at least there weren’t more toys coming out to join them. It helped control the clutter. When all the boxes for the boxed games were breaking, I put the game board and all its pieces in a large zip top bag, used a clothes hanger with clips and hung the games. You can get a lot more games in a smaller amount of space with this method.
Kate says
A chiffarobe (a small armoire)! Look on craigslist or antique shops. The one I store toys in is about 3ft wide by 4.5 ft tall with four drawers on one half and a long empty space on the other where I stack plastic drawer bins. Mine has legs so I can slide baskets underneath and the top can also hold a few baskets. I can close the doors and it looks like a beautiful piece of furniture instead of organized chaos. I have another one about the same dimensions in which I store games and puzzles. This one has two long drawers at the bottom and behind the doors are three shelves. I have one more chiffarobe that I am currently not using but used for baby clothes and diapers (when I had babies, sniff). It has a long drawer on top, four smaller drawers on one side and a tall empty space for hanging small clothes on the other half. So you see this handy piece of furniture comes in all configurations. I paid less then $100 for each piece. They are not pricey antiques, but well-made and solid. I think most of mine are probably 50 – 70 years. They are probably the best furniture investment I ever made from a household management view.
Anna P says
I’m with you…. living room toy storage!!!
Patty says
So basically, keep only a very few things openly accessible to the kids, an amount that they can actually put away, and everything else under lock and key? Of at least higher than they can reach?
Because it seems like no matter how much I pack away for our impending move, they are still able to make giant messes with what is left! Is it just too much in each category? Too little attentiveness on my part? I don’t believe in constantly playing with my kids or watching them while they play. But how to enforce the not making a giant mess with the costumes or the doll clothes of the drawings?
june says
If you want even more visual beauty , try putting your board games vertical, looks like a i
Mamabearjd says
I love that you addressed assumptions. So, so good! I need to do a pre-Lenten clean out of my reader, there are a few blogs I allowed in there that make me hyperventilate when they celebrate the reign of chaos, or just act like it is the norm. I need to hang out here, y’all are one stop shopping between these posts and Bits and Pieces!
Betsy M says
Leila, this is indeed a timely post. We moved into our house without any shelving in the closets, figuring that hubby would do it and save us some money. Well, many months later and the toys and puzzles are in mass disarray and this weekend he is planning to tackle that closet. You have given me such grand ideas as well as a perfect visual as to how many games stack neatly. 🙂 Thanks!
Melanie says
Sigh. We have a toy closet. I go in there every so often and spend much time purging and arranging, only to have someone leave the latch undone the next day and find three little people having a grand old time! My husband, my teenager, both are guilty of leaving the latch undone.
Kelsey says
Thanks for linking back to your other cleaning posts – very timely for me, indeed! I have a question about the stray-sock issue you speak about elsewhere. What should I do if it is my husband who is guilty of leaving his socks – and other pieces of clothing – everywhere?
Leila says
Kelsey, I don’t have direct experience with this problem. The Chief is a creature of tidy habit, I must say. He will also do exactly as told in my sphere! “Here is the hamper.” “Got it.”
So maybe a heedless hubby needs some gentle reminders of how love = deeds. Respect for your work demands that he make an effort. Of course, it’s hard to remember, and he has important things on his mind, we all know. It’s a long process.
When your husband is trying but just can’t remember, picking up his things is an act of love on our part.
It’s okay to have a little talk about it, it’s okay to kid him about it — “I guess you didn’t see the hamper there, sorry about your eyesight” — but it’s also okay to let it pass.
Only you know how to approach it. Whatever you do, don’t nag.
Kelsey says
Thank you so much! I do think that I sometimes fall into nagging, and it is a good thing to be reminded that it’s not the answer. I do sometimes get frustrated when, after spending all day tidying up after myself and the baby, our apartment is a mess within twenty minutes of his coming home… but he does work very hard, outdoors in this cold, and I can actually understand how he may be too worn out to put things in their proper place. I think that part of my Lenten offering this year will be to Not Complain About It 🙂
Anne-Marie says
I have another question about the closet itself. Could you give the measurements of the shelves? I just moved into a house that has a big closet with supports on the walls but no shelves. I’d like to install shelves to hold linens but I’m not sure how thick they need to be to prevent them from sagging. Thank you! Your closet is lovely!
Leila says
Anne-Marie, you need at least 1/2″ boards for good shelves. The depth and length depends on the space, of course.
Anne-Marie says
Thanks! I am hoping to hit the hardware store tomorrow.
Mrs.C says
Leila, I love how you show us your thought processes when doing these projects. Your blog is like homeschooling for moms! I always learn something new.
Mrs. C
Libby Jane says
This is so helpful. I have read you writing some of these things before, but it takes a few times for new ideas to sink in. There are so many areas of the house that are depressing. But it is heartening to realize that it is not just my poor cleaning–it is also the space itself! Your affirmation of both the need for the kids to clean up–and the reminder that managing the whole thing, and deep cleaning and organizing are my job–is helpfully clarifying.
I do so avoid overwhelming problem areas, and I do so appreciate your hearty admonitions and encouragements to tackle them.
I get the idea of taking it all off to clean, but I tend to end up with shopping bags or laundry baskets full of the stuff that I couldn’t get around to sorting through! Sorting and dealing with is so hard! Maybe I need to take it all off, but just one little area at a time?
Kathy says
Lady Catherine de Bourgh would approve. Shelves in the closet!