Telling a child just that, simply and according to his ability to understand, seems to me to be, not only the best, truest way to handle scary news, but also the best means to restore to him some sense of trust.
Little by little, he must learn that it's good to trust in you, his parents, but ultimately, only completely in God. Many children have lost their parents. Many parents have failed to protect their children. But what we wish for them is to know that we do our best and trust in a loving God.
That there are bad people is also the truth. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” The enemy of my brother, the victim of a bombing, is someone I must love and pray for. Loving someone means wanting the best for them. It isn't excusing them, although Jesus himself said, from the cross, “They know not what they do.” Let Him be our guide — otherwise, what have we recently celebrated? Why have bothered?
Amie says
Beautiful…
{thank you}
Kathy says
Yes, thank you for this.
Susan says
Thank you for this…
ayearinskirts says
There's something about your writing Leila. You're words always read like a song. Thanks for your thoughts today.
Margo says
Thank you so much for this practical advice.
My daughter, 7, often tells us a long scary scenario and then wants us to explain how we would handle it. We answer within reason and quite honestly, but she keeps adding more difficult circumstances (but there is no phone! but you're not with me! etc. etc.). And we usually end then, by saying that we know God would help us and we would also use our smart brains to figure it out. That seems to comfort her.
Jill W. says
I really needed this. Thank you for your uncommon wisdom.
Jill W.
Margo says
My sis-in-law just reminded me, via Pinterest, of Fred Rogers' quote: look for the helpers. That when a tragedy happens, there are always helpers.
I love that concrete focus.
Lacy says
What a wonderful reminder–for our precious ones and ourselves. Thank you for sharing so generously of your lives and your insights.
Anna Yager says
We adults also have problems with feeling unsafe. I just had a conversation with a friend today about Boston and she said she was scared that this was caused by foreign terrorists and that if it was the work of an American she wouldn't be so terrified. We eventually came to the conclusion that when people think they understand the root of an evil they're less concerned about it than if they haven't a clue as to why someone took that action. In any case, I haven't had a TV for most of my adult life, and it hasn't made me an ignorant troll (you can't actually avoid the big news) but it HAS eliminated all the gratuitous “filler” items focused on random accidents, opinionated “journalism” and other non-essential noise.
Annalisa says
Thank you. My children are young enough that they have no idea what happened yesterday in Boston but I know the day will come when they'll start to hear about these things. Thank you for helping me prepare for it.
Decadent Housewife says
Thank you, Leila.
You have written exactly what I've been thinking.
“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms;” Deuteronomy 33:27
Donna L. says
Thank you, Auntie Leila for this beautiful and necessary post.
Faith says
Yes- the truth will always reign. Thank you. I was listening to NPR a week or so ago (alone, in the car) and there was recently a study that revealed that fear is a very predominant feeling compared to a hundred years ago. Ironically, we talk LESS about our feelings than a hundred years ago, even with all of this social media! Fear was the only emotion which predominated… Perfect love casts out fear…
Anne-Marie says
I once read an account of the author's struggles as a child to accept the Holocaust. One day she went to her father and said, “I figured it out! Hitler was insane!” Her father answered, “No, that's too easy. He wasn't insane. He was evil.”
This is one of the areas where we benefit so much from a Christian understanding of the world. As Christians, we are not afraid to name evil, but we also know that “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot put it out.”
Erin says
Thank you for this post. I was 10 years old when the Challenger space shuttle launched with a teacher on board. Our classroom was surrounding the TV when tragedy struck. I will never ever forget when our nuns walked to the front of the room, turned the TV off and led us all in prayer for the astronauts and their families. What a blessing to be in a school environment with people who took the view that the only option in that situation was prayer.
Jaimie says
My children are too young to be aware of the tragedy in Boston, but despite my son's young age (4) I have already had to have a difficult conversation with him. My brother recently died of cancer, and my brother was young and healthy when it struck. My son recently asked me when I was going to die, and that when that happened, he wouldn't have a mommy any more?
Very sadly, my mother also passed away when I was in my twenties, so I know all too well that people do not only die of old age. I really wasn't sure what to tell my son; I wanted to keep it age-appropriate and also tell the truth. So, I said “Everyone dies, but I hope I'm going to live a long, long time until I'm an old lady and you're a grown-up man with your own family. And I'm looking after myself to keep myself healthy so I can do my best to live for a long time.”
Sarahlcc says
I saw a poster the other day that said “60 percent of child abuse is neglect.” Whether or not that statistic is true only for this state or for the entire US I don't know, but it is sad. Being catholic has helped revolutionize how I see my vocation and my worth as a woman and mother. I know that has made a difference in how my children and husband are treated as well. Oh if only everyone could see how loved they are!
Summer says
Thank you for your beautiful words. And Amen.
Dyan says
Definitely well said! I agree with you, and I appreciate that you took the time to write this. Thank you!
Tracy says
Thank you for writing this. It's never easy to let kids know about horrible acts of violence.
I found myself trying not to make my son feel guilty for being a boy. He is nine and all things having to do with explosions and fire make him giddy Not in an evil way – he is a gentle, kindhearted boy. But he is a boy! How do we gently let boys know what explosions really do to people?
I did tell him that he might not want to gush giddily about his love of explosions and fire in public, lest people turn him into authorities as a potential threat. And I told him about the bombs in Boston, and showed him some not-too-graphic photos of how people were hurt.
But really, what's to become of boyish, innocent love of explosions (and guns)? There mere mention is becoming too hurtful and raw for America. We still need to teach them that some uses for explosions (and guns) are useful and others are not.
Christina A says
I try to gently remind my boys that violence is only to be used against bad guys as a way to protect people from them, and even then, killing us only a last resort when there is no other way to stop the bad guys. At one point, they were taking waaay too much delight in their make-believe “killing” of the bad guys, so I had to tell them that the real good guys in our world try to stop bad guys by only capturing or wounding them whenever possible. 🙂
Christina A says
*killing as only