{Previous posts in this series:
________________________________________________________
Now that you are getting the idea that the ability to write is the fruit of a long acquaintance with good books combined with a certain nitty-gritty know-how of your own, you are going to be more confident about stepping away from the Torture Method of Writing where your young children are concerned.
I guess I think that you can torture your kids with endless book reports, overly cheerful prompts, and grinding drills. And you can torture yourself with complex, expensive writing systems.
Or you can just go with not worrying about it until well into high school, using an old-fashioned method of reading and basic mechanics.
You'll end up in the same place.
Only with less torture.
The Chatterbox. You can find it online at the Project Gutenburg. Of course, nothing compares to taking a volume into a large chair and simply getting lost in it. |
I cannot emphasize enough:
- Read only good books, preferably old ones. Doesn't matter what genre — fiction, nonfiction, poetry, drama — read and enjoy them all.
- Give your child the basic mechanics of writing.
- Know how our language works yourself, and use it well, as well as you can.
Okay, Auntie Leila, but what do we do every day in school?
Use your primers — they contain good narration, drawing, and writing opportunities, lightly applied. Children will learn a lot of vocabulary in context, which is the key to remembering it.
Do lots of copy work. A wonderful exercise is for your child to copy out anything he's working on: Bible verses, a few lines of poetry to memorize, a quote that strikes him from a book he's reading. A simple grocery list (eggs, milk, butter) for the very, very young (then take him shopping with his list and make him get the things for you).
Keep a family notebook that anyone can write in. Set the tone by jotting down funny things everyone says. In our family, what works is a phone log, by which I mean a medium-sized notebook ostensibly used to jot information someone's giving you over the phone — a quick number you don't necessarily need to put in your master list; instructions from the nurse on prescription dosages; the mechanic's trouble-shooting ideas for your washer; a quote from a vendor that you want to compare later to another's.
This book is informal enough that it just works. Everyone feels comfortable picking it up and jotting something down it it. For our family, it's become a place to record the hilarious things everyone just tosses off in regular conversation. In yours it might be other things as well. The main idea is that it's not sort of sacrosanct. Fancy journals scare me. This notebook doesn't.
Help them find their voice with letter writing. Short notes to Dad, each other, and friends*, longer formal letters, thank-yous, letters to authors of books they love.** Provide the form for them — you will find letter forms at the back of any grammar or usage book — and encourage proper address (that is, proper to the occasion, whether formal or informal).
Do lots of dictation. Hearing sentences read with the proper inflection and then translating them onto paper takes a lot of skill. It's hard to know how to do a dictation if you weren't raised being given dictation. Try to give the phrase, rather than going word-by-word, and don't worry if you have to repeat a lot. As they get more proficient, try to repeat less. Sometimes allow a viewing of the passage before launching into the dictation. Begin by giving the punctuation, and then train them to translate the inflection of your voice into commas and periods.
Truly, it's a tragedy of today's educational system that teachers and parents put so much emphasis on a certain kind of highly specialized writing (the expository essay geared for standardized tests) that they are actually killing their children's ability to write on all levels, creative and practical.
Stop tormenting your children, or letting the school torment them. Your child (and anyone else for that matter) must have something to say before he can say it. Your task is to get him to the point where he realizes that yes, he has something to say, and then reaches for the ability to say it on his own, using the tools you have provided.
{All the posts about teaching writing are here.}
________________
*Discipline note: When your children are truly pushing you over the edge with their long and reasoned arguments as to why they should be allowed to do such-and-such, ask them to put it in a letter to you. Require the proper form, sending any sub-par missive back to them for revision. They could make their own stamps, mailbox, etc. Hopefully by the time they are done they will have forgotten what it's all about.
**Homework: Click on the link. Ponder the letter. Note that he asked the child to write back to him — several times! Look on the blog for other letters that would be appropriate for your child to read to get the idea of what he should be aspiring to in his letter-writing endeavors.
Lisa G. says
You are a genius.
Wendy in VA says
These posts are *so* helpful. You're confirming what I've finally allowed myself to believe now that my oldest is 18. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Auntie Leila!
Bridget Green says
I am so grateful to have found this blog. I feel as if I have found a kindred spirit when it comes to my own ideas and beliefs regarding teaching children to write well. I agree with everything you've said so far in this series and I can't wait to read more!
Rain says
You are a treasure! I am so glad to have permission to stop torturing my children and myself. I love your 'how-to' posts.
Blessings.
Kathy says
Yes, yes, yes!!! I love the 'ask them to put it in a letter to you' idea. I actually pulled out some of my Dad's elementary school work from the early 50's to show my own kids the difference in what is expected of them now vs. really, truly learning to write – it was eye opening!
Donna L. says
Thank you! I couldn't have asked for a better post about writing—minus the torture! I'm not certain why I feel I must have permission to *not* bring my children to tears while learning to write well–but I do, so bless you for giving me that elusive permission…
My kids may, someday, thank you as well!
Kimberlee says
This is a great post of course, but thank you so much for the link to James Thurber's letter! Oh so wonderful. I recently read The 13 Clocks aloud to my whole family and it was just so good – really tickled me to read that letter of his. (you know a book is good when the kids 6-22 enjoy it as well as the undisclosed-aged parents!) Also love seeing pictures of another family that apparently treasures vintage books as much as we do.
@bymags says
The Golden Book Treasury of Poetry is the BEST.
Amanda says
Lovely ! Did you gather most of these treasured old books second hand, or inherit many of them like you did the readers? The library/other large book sales around here usually don't have too much in the way of hard backs. Our best finds have been Junior Classics volumes. So I end up hunting on abebooks but the prices are usually above $10 after shipping. But I think I'll be hunting for Chatterbox and the poetry treasury. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom!
Karen says
What is this Chatterbox book!? I just ordered it through amazon to satiate my curiosity. I have a feeling I will be ordering others in that series as I find them at or below $12 each. I really appreciate that you post photos of the books you treasure so that I can add to our own book collection. I'll need to buy a sixth bookshelf soon… Please keep them coming! 🙂
Thank you for writing all of these strategies for us young mothers. It is making a world of difference for my children. I had my 4 year old son in 3 year old preschool (6 hours per week over two days) last year, but the only things he learned were to write his name and bad behavior, as he already knew his shapes, colors, letters, and how to count up to 100. He's home with me this year with your blessing after I read the book you recommended, “Better Late Than Early.” His behavior is much improved and he seems relieved to just have time to be a boy with his 2 year old brother! I'm now considering homeschooling after swearing I'd never be “that mom.” We'll see how things go! 🙂 Thank you SO much!
Melissa Diskin says
Love your take on expository writing. This bored me so much in school (especially high school) that I once wrote a 5 paragraph essay using only 9 sentences (and very careful grammar).
I love the family notebook idea! I have a pretty one that I used as a “caring and sharing” book to record my kidlets' good deeds to each other…I was at my wit's end with one particularly incorrigible child, who hated to be good but LOVED the publicity when read her good deeds aloud (and believe me I had to stretch the definition of “good” some days). Now that I have one child writing I can turn it into a family notebook… less smarmy, more fun and cooperative! Miss Incorrigible is barely writing but I'm hoping she can at least sign her name to any exploits the rest of us put in. 🙂
Mary B says
Would you be able to tag these great writing posts as part of your “education” category? I was trying to tell my friend about them, but couldn't remember how you tagged them, that would be helpful!
_Leila says
Done, Mary!
Angela says
YOU HAVE THE “BURGESS BIRD BOOK”. I love you more than ever. That is our favorite, but we draw blank stares when we mention it.
Jamie says
Dear Auntie Lelia, I have been pouring over reviews for grammar books for my just finishing 2nd grade – feeling peer pressure and as you said the “oh my..am I ruining him..” But seeing as you predicted I would have this break down just at this point, I put my faith in your advice and ordered the Bob Merrill 3rd grade reader from Abe Books instead. I took your advice this past year about the phonics workbooks and that has gone well!