Oh, I am so enjoying not planning for a wedding! I am really really enjoying it!
My house is… ai yi yi.
I had a little teensy tinsy bit of a grip before, during, and after Sukie's wedding, but shortly lost it. But that's okay! I have a really long time to set things straight! I can take my time! No pressure!
We got our daughters married off, did a lot of DIY, entertained over 300 people, and right now I am so light hearted!
Waiting on the photographers to do their thing, and for the girls to do their thing, and then to figure out how to show you the really nice photos. The truth is, there is not much scope for the mother of the bride to take too many photos. Rosie certainly couldn't take any — she was busy juggling music (she sang at both weddings), her (intensively active) toddler, and a bad head cold.
But you understand, you always do.
I have learned that having a mental, not to say physical, image of the venue, just after it's the best you can make it but just before the folks start to party in it, is tricky.
I think that you need to designate one person who is not you and not the photographer (who is busy with the bridal party) to go in there and really take some nice pictures. The last-minute stuff of getting ready is so very last minute — it all comes down to the wire so quickly, what with flowers that threaten to wilt and the rehearsal looming and you all sweaty and knowing that you better get out of there quick so that you can go get respectable — that there is no time to really take it all in!
And then, suddenly people are already milling about and putting their cards at their places and generally just being in there.
Sukie's wedding reception was in a charming barn, the one belonging to Rosie's in-laws. Deirdre's, considerably larger, was at the town hall nearby — an elegant, turn-of-the-20th-century building. In neither case am I confident that the bride and groom really had a moment to take in what it looked like.
For Deirdre, all I have right now is this phone picture:
We tried to get her colors (pink and green) into this vast space, and hit upon the idea of using fabric she liked as table runners. (Luckily the stage curtain is pink!)
We didn't end up getting all of these fabrics below, but as we chose a few, I personally started to get excited about the idea of using them, ultimately, in a wedding quilt for Deirdre and John. (I had been toying with the idea of using the napkins we made for Sukie's wedding in her quilt — yes, we made napkins, and that is another post, but basically right now all I can think of is quilting!)
Here she is, on the way to church in her dress she found at the running of the brides! After major surgery by an expert seamstress, it fit her like a glove.
Okay, so how much will you judge me when I tell you that we used the open wine from Sukie's wedding (having kept it well chilled) to make sangria for Deirdre's “cocktail hour”?
Would it help to know that it was good sangria?
I mean, how thrifty, frugal, and tightwad (and fun, because sangria is fun!) is that?
I brought my camera to the church and then Sukie passed it to Will who handed it without comment to Claire (one of Rosie's roommates from college, now married and a mom), who said, “Our mission is clear.”
And so Claire did a nice job. Without her there would pretty much just be a photo of my kids acting like they were boozing it up with magnums of wine!
And who can blame her for sneaking Julia into the wedding pics?
Seeing the beautiful Julia reminded me of a conversation I had with another young parent at Sukie's wedding. He commented on his growing resolve to homeschool his children.
At that moment I thought of how, well, homeschooling or not, that's not so much the point as that it's worth it to commit, to devote yourself to the mission of building your family and beyond into the community and the culture. To do what it takes. For a long time I didn't understand how to do that; not that I think you ever really do understand, human nature being fallen and all, but I really often felt lost.
There is suffering and disappointment; and there are moments when you just don't think you will make it, in the sense that you can't imagine how these fairly intractable people with their headlong refusal to mold themselves into an approved happy family vision, and especially yourself with all your faults and failings (and not to mention the world beating down on you), will come together in some sort of cohesive unity. And then one day, by the grace of God, they do. And you do. And you are you, the collective you that you were trying to be, only at the same moment — like a wave on the sand that retreats before it quite reaches the tide line — they have their eye on another shore.
But it's all good.
Haus Frau says
Oh what a beautiful bride! What a beautiful church! Congratulations to the happy couple and their families.
priest's wife says
MANY BLESSED years in health and happiness to the new couple (and the only slightly-less new couple!)
anna says
Thank you so much for sharing… I was waiting! What a gorgeous dress! And what a church! Blessings to all!
Emily B says
I don't have a {phfr} post this week, but I just had to leave a comment because tonight when I signed into my sister's Facebook (I deleted mine a while back, but still like to check things out every now and then), the first story in her “feed” was that John and Deidre were married–I clicked on the picture, and lo and behold, it was your Deidre and her John! Apparently, my sister is Facebook friends with John…who knew? What a small world! I did get to see some of the wedding pictures and it looked beautiful! Congratulations on marrying off two of your daughters successfully!
palak says
yes, what a gorgeous bride! Congratulations to all of you! … and thanks for the encouragment re:parenting! I needed it today! 🙂
Heidi says
That is a gorgeous church… but more importantly, a gorgeous bride! Congratulations!!
Karen says
Dierdre is an absolutely beautiful bride! Congratulations to her and her husband! The church looks lovely!
nt12many says
Congratulations to a job well done, both in the raising of beautiful, committed Christian women and the weddings themselves. And, Leila, the last paragraph in your post is absolutely poetic. Can I copy and paste it on my blog with credit to you and a link to your blog? It simply can't be expressed any better than that.
Jill Farris ” target=”_blank”>http://www.generationalwomanhood.wordpress.com ” target=”_blank”>http://www.jillcampbellfarris.com
_Leila says
Of course, Jill — thanks so much for your kind words!
Anne-Marie says
Blessings to Deirdre! My husband (one of her philosophy profs at CUA) and I remembered her happy day in our prayers this past weeked.
Stephanie says
Thank you for sharing your photos…they are a nice “devote yourself to family and build the culture” shot in the arm 🙂
Katie says
Made me cry this morning, that last long paragraph. As a mom to kids 1 through 15, sometimes I wonder how they'll ever make it and be okay. Thank you for your hopeful, wonderful, loving post. I'll keep plugging away. Many blessings on you, your daughters and their new families!
Sue in Japan says
So much beauty!!! Absolutely beautiful bride, beautiful church, beautiful baby… it's a good thing you only had a few photos, for we may have been overwhelmed!
And, those last two paragraphs? A balm to a frazzled homeschool mom's heart. That's all I have to say.
Oh, one more thing. Now I am really craving sangria. :o)
Melissa says
Congratulations! You're on the other side of all of the pomp and circumstance!! You really are amazing. And I'm feeling a surge of sympathetic relief knowing that you are resting from your mother of the bride labors! Oh, Leila. Your last paragraph is exquisite. Yes. Exactly this, said the way I feel it and the way only you can write it, I think. Much love from me to you. MJ
Wendy Clark says
She is just beautiful!
Kate says
Congratulations! What a beautiful bride, beautiful church, beautiful post!
Kelly M. says
I think the Sangria idea is wonderful! No one wants to see good wine go to waste. And I love your last paragraph. As a younger mom in the thick of homeschooling a bunch of little ones, I need to see that yes, it's worth it. It will turn out okay, even on the days when everything conspires against me. Lovely wedding photos. I hope you all can relax and enjoy a quiet ( or quieter?) summer from here on out.
Lisa G. says
I was starting to say that you have a poetic way of saying things, but that would fall short. I think what I'm meaning is – you have a pretty clear vision, and because it's truth, it's poetry.
Deirdre looks beautiful, of course! Glad you're done planning weddings.
nancy says
A beautiful bride! The reception hall looks great and I like the idea of of implementing the fabric you used as table runners & napkins into wedding quilts. Congratulations to all !
kimberlee says
Oh Leila, congratulations! You did it! Deidre looks so beautiful. The dress is so lovely and I love the three quarter lace sleeves. The church is gorgeous, and the shot of the two of them at the altar made me cry. Many blessings to all of your newlyweds.
And your last paragraph, the description of that for which we hope and strive – you just put it so beautifully. And the last sentence, that of course it's not all just for 'an approved happy family vision' was stunning (grey havens and the sea of lilies at the same time). You certainly have a gift with words.
(And quilts too! You're brilliant!) God bless!
briana/justamouse says
What she said!
Debbie says
Finally- I've been waiting all week for this! It all looks about as perfect as anything can be: Deirdre's dress was absolutely exquisite, and she really looked beautiful. Julia is edible. And congratulations on having done it all so well- and, of course, most importantly, as you note, that it is now *done*!
Love,
Debbie
Kathy says
Thank you so much for sharing! Your daughters have all been beautiful brides, and I wish them the best.
Plus I love the detail about the sangria. Fun indeed!
Briana says
She is so right, that dress is perfect for her-such a classic dress, so beautiful.
We're tightwads, too, I commend you for keeping Sukie's wine chilled and using it for Sangria.
Your whole post is so awesome I'm almost in tears.
Collete says
What a lovely day – and such a lovely bride! So much goodness to celebrate!
I enjoyed reading your thoughts & perspective on family (and mothering!) in your 'real' category….as a mother with an almost-12-year-old, and looking ahead to those teenage/young adult years – those were very encouraging words to hear!!
Blessings to you and your beautiful family!
Margo says
I feel like I've waited a long time to see The Dress! And it is beautiful – Deirdre is beautiful.
I love how you explained “building” my family. That is helpful, because I do agree that there are different paths towards doing that. It's so hot my brain is fried.
Barbara says
Congratulations to your beautiful daughters. Enjoy your well-earned down time.
Jaimie says
Deirdre has perfect eyebrows.
So Much Forever says
I dont think there's any woman more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day.
Lindsay says
“And then one day, by the grace of God, they do. And you do. And you are you, the collective you that you were trying to be, only at the same moment — like a wave on the sand that retreats before it quite reaches the tide line — they have their eye on another shore.
But it's all good.”
Just perfect.
CMerie says
Congratulations! I can't wait to see all the pictures. What a beautiful bride! You are very blessed and your family is blessed to have you.
I am at that point now of wondering when/if it will ever all come together and things seem just so so hard right now. But there is hope! And I'm clinging to that.
Mary says
Beautiful bride awash in joy! Congratulations. Thank you for sharing your family's joys with us!
BethanneB says
So happy for your “deliverance” from wedding planning and maybe from weddings for a bit. That is quite a joy, in and of itself. I know you're happy and grateful to have run the good race, but the time and space now must feel almost luxurious and such a satisfaction. Such a gift to be finished for a while! Many congratulations to all of you.
Mary Ellen Barrett says
You are certainly turning out some beautiful brides lately. :). She is utterly lovely and I am so happy for your whole family. I can't wait to see future posts on details.
Bobbi (RoL) says
Wow, Leila, I skimmed through the beautiful photos first then went back and read what you wrote. You had me crying in my bowl of cheerios. Very touching. Being the oldest of nine I watch with a motherly eye, my younger siblings venturing off into the world. Meanwhile, I have my own young ones just starting out. When we are all together laughing and just enjoying each other, the craziness of life melts away and I am amazed at God's goodness in giving me this tiny taste of heaven on earth. 🙂
Libby says
so were you that expert seamstress? if so could we have a post on how you altered deirdre's dress?
_Leila says
Hahahaha, Libby — no.
It was a truly expert seamstress, and no way would I go anywhere near all that hand beaded lace and beautiful embroidery! I am the only moderately competent seamstress who did the bridesmaids' dresses– a whole different league! Lower. Lower league 🙂
Mary says
You did it!! You survived wedding season!! Congratulations to you and your family. Another beautiful Lawler bride. I can't wait to see the bridesmaid dresses with all the lace and I must have you sangria recipe. Looks like it was a fabulous weekend was had by all. Blessings to the new couple…
misty bennett says
How beautiful! Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes! Very well said!
Elizabeth says
How beautiful! Congratulations to Deirdre and enjoy the break! I will be looking forward to posts about the wedding details, but take your time 🙂 (Not that you needed my permission! lol)
sibyl says
My best wishes to your family on two weddings and two new sons to enrich your family life!
I got so choked up, looking at your beautiful daughter smiling with so much joy on her wedding day! I don't even know her or you personally, but remember so well how incredibly full of joy I was on my own day almost 17 years ago now. What can compare to seeing your daughter smiling that way?
God bless your family.
dweej {house unseen} says
Your church! Your church! Your church! I'm just…wow, it is so very gorgeous. I'm in awe 😀
Helene says
Congratulations on making it through an incredibly joyful but challenging time! Your children are so beautiful. And you came through it all with such grace. Your words here are so encouraging! I often feel faint hearted at the race I have yet to run. Those older kid years are just beginning for us with our oldest now a Sophomore in college and nine siblings to follow behind her. I think I may be looking back into your archives for this kind of encouragement for a long time coming. Hope the Chief is faring as well as you are in the aftermath!
AHeartLikeMarys says
Such beautiful pictures and i love Deirdre's dress!!
Betsy M says
Congratulations to the new couple. Deirdre looks so lovely! When you have time I would love to hear the background story behind that veil. Oh, and no judging here about the leftover wine – I think that is brilliant.
RubberChickenGirl says
Lovely, but will await more pics of “the dress”. Love the sleeves. Love any sleeves on a wedding dress but these are cool. Great length and very fairy princess. Do you know more about her earrings? I like that they look both vintage and bohemian. Congratulations to all for living through family life over the long haul AND 2 weddings in a row. Thinking of Phillip (sp) in Afghanistan and am glad Rosie has been occupied with family for some of the separation.
RubberChickenGirl
Roxie says
You have beautiful children! Thank you for sharing your wedding pictures! LOVELY!!! God bless the new couple with much JOY!
glendachilders says
Congratulations to your family. You must be one tired and happy momma.
Loved your thoughts on family.
Woman of the House says
What a happy, blessed day! Congratulations to all! Deirdre is beautiful and so is her dress! I hope you can spend the rest of your summer catching your breath. 🙂
Shayla says
I just have to comment how much I love that gown! It is lovely and timeless.
(I'm also hoping you post a picture of the bridesmaids' dresses!)
Lauren says
The wedding dress was beautiful! Was it a traditional Latin rite mass? It looked like it from the pictures and that's what we had for our wedding three years ago. Love your blog and all the encouragement and advice for young moms!