So this is the sofa I got on Craigslist (remember hearing about it from the rug post?).
I'll tell you a bit about this room. It's above the kitchen. I think that originally (the house was built in 1860 or thereabouts), it was a servants' room — it's up the back stairs. We have used it as a bedroom, but in later times, now that we have fewer children around, I like the idea of having a rec room where they can play Foosball and yell if they like, but still be accessible to my yells.
Children really shouldn't play with their friends in their bedrooms, for the most part.
If they are all the same sex, and the door is open, it can be okay for a while, but in general, I think that for the sake of the habit of openness and chastity when they are older, it's better to have the general sense that guests are entertained in “public” spaces of the house.
You would be surprised how quickly children grow up. It's best to be practical about your hopes for them, early on. If your hopes include their purity — which, in turn, is their best shot at a happy family of their own — then start now to give them the tools for keeping their (perfectly natural and healthy) appetites in check. Self control is a gift we give them with our expectations and clear limits.
At the same time, kids are noisy! The best idea is for them to be outside! Even at night (ghost in the graveyard, anyone?)! Even in the rain! But of course, in they come… and then what?
In this house, the basement, being field stone and rather uninhabitable, can't be used for anything at all, and the den is just sometimes a place older people would like to sit, even though there is also a living room… that doesn't have a TV.
So yes, in a stunning example of first-world problems, where to put the Foosball table and the kids?
This also illustrates the corollary of the “work expands to fit the time allowed” rule: “Activities expand to fit the space.” In this case, a ridiculously large house.
However, when I do need all my bedroom space, I need it. Yet I didn't want a bed in the rec room. So I got the idea of a sleeper sofa, and proceeded to try to figure out how to find one that is in good condition, meets my threshold of decorating goodness (sofas, if not absolutely of unattainable-quality upholstery, need to be neutral in color and shape), and is moderately comfy.
Do you like it? The sofa, I mean. It's a good quality, sturdy, signed piece of furniture with an apparently very comfortable mattress (our recent guests raved about it — hopefully they weren't just being polite!).
Not only can this room now be a guest bedroom, it also functions as the wrapping room, thanks to Habou's donation of this cool table and cubby box. (The big rolls are in the chest/coffee table, and I can put a big board on the Foosball table for working on.)
Isn't it cute?
It's a make-do room. It's small — not like one of those great big basement rec rooms. You can see that, other than the sofa, it's the repository for leftover furniture. The ceiling needs some attention.
But the view is awesome — and everything is cuter with ball fringe!
Janice says
So pretty and functional! I think you did a wonderful job. Could you please share the paint colour?
_Leila says
Janice, it was more than 12 years ago that we painted it! Since then I've recorded the colors, but I don't know that one, sorry!
Deirdre says
I like the new curtains! It's an especially lovely room with that morning sun shining in.
eko says
Looks lovely and usable for all sorts of happenings. I agree about having the kids be near and able to have fun, but near… : ) I got in the most trouble(s) in a basement of a gf when I was growing up – nothing terrible (crank calls and talk about stuff we should not have been discussing – with older sibs of her's)
I slept on our guest bed and it is good for a day or so…nothing more, I am hoping to find a temperpedic (sp?) topper for it.
Love your blog, wisdom and richness that you share. Long time reader – never commented before.
God bless!
eko
sibyl says
As always, lovely to get a peek into your gorgeous home. We have a tiny space for toys and TV — the room itself is 10 by 10, but smaller with the couch, a particle-board shelf for board games, a dresser where we keep homeschool books and materials out of sight, and metal “cafe” shelves, racks almost, where we stow the FIsher Price parking garage, the little house, the bins of people, cars, dress-up clothes, etc. This, unfortunately, is far too small even for toddlers to play in comfortably for long. And since we live in Minnesota, where 6 months of the year make the outdoors downright nasty to be out in, the bedrooms must be the spaces for kids with guests most of the time.
But, looking at your great big house, I can dream!
Dawn says
It looks great. Your words are timely for me since I am thinking about the friends in bedrooms concept right now. My kids would prefer not to have friends in their rooms, but we have no space for toys anywhere else in the house. Space is limited around here and our three public rooms are the Library (formerly ther living room with our dinning room table and lots and lots of books/book cases), the kitchen, and our sitting room (formerly the dining room that now holds our tv and loveseat/chairs). So where to put kids when they come to visit? I would prefer kids be in my “line of sight” as well. We do have a wonderful back yard and the neighborhood kids play there for the most part. However, that doesn't work in inclement weather and winter. Any advice?
Blessings,
Dawn
Colette says
Not Leila, but I'll put my oar in. Sometimes it helps to think outside the box a little. Not knowing your kids' ages or gender or bedroom #, it's hard to say. We are living in a weird house right now and ended up putting all the kids' beds in one room and toys in the other. It's working for us for the moment.
Some people have very definite ideas about bedrooms though (like my MIL who is adamant that there should be no more than 2 kids in one room–she had 1 brother) I personally want bedrooms to be for sleeping, not living. I've lived in cramped quarters though and that just makes solutions a little more difficult. We used our couch to divide our living room once so the back half of the room was the play area. Good luck:)
amy@diapeepees says
I so appreciate hearing how you make habits that promote chastity! I think what you said about bedrooms not appropriate for entertaining the opposite sex to be so important!
Jenny says
I feel kinda dumb, but what is a signed piece of furniture?
I have always thought we would have a 'no significant other' in the bedroom rule when the kids are older. I knew people growing up who were allowed to have their boyfriends in their bedrooms and it never ended well. I have never thought about keeping all the friends out. It would make it a more natural development and not seem like an imposition later. I'll have to think on it. We have the 'so then where will they play' problem as well.
_Leila says
Not at all, Jenny — it's just from one of those companies (American) that has all the people who worked on the piece sign it.
Always keep praying for the means to do the right thing, and it will turn up!
Hafsa says
I love the idea of keeping an open play space for the children rather than the bedrooms. We have a small house but we'll make it work somehow. I too love the paint color, it makes the room look so bright.
Karen says
Score those without a seperate room for kids to play in: consider doublet or tripling their sleeping room to free a roomas a rec room maybe the bedroom nearest the existing public room?
Maria says
It never occurred to me to set an expectation that guests are entertained in public spaces, but remembering my own temptations as a high school girl, I think you are so right — and not just public spaces, but ones that a parent might walk through at any moment. Thanks!
Judy says
That was my parents' rule when I was growing up, Maria, and boy! did it annoy me as a teen. But boy! was it also a good thing. We were lucky to have a family room just off the kitchen, which allowed my parents to keep tabs on us and us to feel we had a little space. I love that this post puts those considerations right out front, also. We will be moving in a few months, and it is helpful to be reminded of these important considerations. 🙂
Margaret says
Thanks for your point about not having bedrooms be play areas. I've always intended to have a “no sleepover” rule, and I think this fits in with what you said. Bedrooms are for sleeping, which is something you do at home, with your family. The room looks lovely!
JulianaB says
I get that guests should be entertained in public spaces, but our public spaces are few and far between. It is basically the kitchen, living room, or very small study, which as our kids grow up and more numerous, will have to be a bedroom at some point. Which leaves the kitchen and living room. Both of which are small. (Our whole house is 1600 square feet, we have three kids under four, and are planning to have at least one more). I'm just not sure how to navigate that particular morass. Russians tend to do all the socializing in the kitchen, and the teenagers have to go outside (in less than ideal, i.e. unsupervised, circumstances). Thoughts?
_Leila says
For outdoor fun (mostly unsupervised) for teens, see this post! http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org//2011/05/b…
Helene says
Hi Juliana. Our house is 1568 square feet (not including the basement) and I have ten kids! We have done all sorts of things to make our lives work in this space. Bunk beds and toddler beds are a life saver. I have 5 boys in one room because we use two sets of bunks and a toddler bed in there. It is snug, but they still have room for lots of personal belongings. We put the dressers in their closet to save floor space. That room is the one that needs cleaning most often but when we all pitch in (girls too) it goes quickly. The girls are spread out into two other bedrooms. Our master bedroom does not have a bathroom of its own but I am so grateful because that is what allows for the four bedrooms up there. Otherwise we would only have three. One thing we did that really helps is we finished our basement as a rec room. That is our public play space and it gets the toys and tv out of our living space upstairs. Another thing that has helped me over the years is resisting the temptation to buy more furniture and forcing myself to keep decorating simple and functional. I would love a kitchen island, for example, but I know it would really be in the way with the amount of room in there. Rows of hooks (which can be real cute) and shelving (but not too much) are my friends. I am also pretty militant about not holding onto “stuff” (or not acquiring it to begin with if possible) and challenge the kids to think that way, too. We are not savers in general. We fenced in our backyard so that adds more room out back where toddlers and teens alike can roam in safety. Though sometimes I like to complain, we are truly blessed to have this house that God has given us. The kids really like it, and hey, the mortgage is now paid off. Many joyful noises are made unto the Lord daily within this humble 2 by 6 construction. This is where God wants us, so for now we stay! Many blessings and good luck to you with your precious family!
Juliana says
Thanks for the thoughts! I should have said we also live in an urban row house with only a 16×8 bricked in back patio (that backs up into another house and is fenced on all sides), and our basement is 400 unfinished square feet that we have to use for storage. So unsupervised outdoors fun is a fantasy at this point. 🙂
We do strive for simplicity in our furniture and decorating, and do regular purges of everything, but sometimes it never feels like enough. The stairs eat a lot of space in the house, and the rooms all run into one another, so sometimes it can be difficult to delineate space. I'm hoping that we'll be able to be more creative as we get out of the diapering years and can dispense with the diaper changing stations on each of the three floors.
Elizabeth says
The guideline for entertaining friends in a public space probably also encourages friendship among siblings as well…one child can't sneak off with their friend and exclude their siblings from the fun quite as easily. I know that when my friends and I played in the basement or outside I always included my sisters more.
I love that it doubles as a wrapping room!
mamabearjd says
My third grader goes to a private school where sleepovers are a big deal. I've stalled for two years now saying “we're new, we need to get to know the families…” but the truth is I don't want to do sleepovers at all. I truly believe we should supervise, how wise you are to talk about self control in this regard. I think you might shrug when we say you are wise, but It is true, and I am thankful for the advice. I love the cubby shelf.
Anne says
When I was in highschool the girls slept on the third floor and the boys (including some boarders) on the second. Boys were not allowed on the third floor at all (except my older brother whose room was on one end separated by a hall and he wasn't allowed to have his friends there). It was really great. Growing up in a house where there were always tons of people in and out was great, but knowing I had privacy was also great…it kind of made me feel like a princess. I know that sounds a little silly, but I would entertain downstairs and then retire to my tower. 🙂 Girl guests were allowed upstairs and we did do sleepovers.
Elena says
Re. Craigslist find…WOW! Like-ing the multiple use of the room too!
Lisa G. says
I also love the cubby holes. Your couch is very nice – and I love the window treatment, especially!
Anitra says
I like the idea of a dedicated “play space” that is not a bedroom. Right now, my kids (3 & 1) play mostly in our open-plan living/dining room, and occasionally in their bedroom (90% of the books and 20% of the toys are in there).
I like that the room is open and gives them room to run around inside… BUT I'm getting rather sick of the running around inside (and being underfoot, especially when I'm in our teeny kitchen and one or both of them want “in”). With the sort of weather we've been having, you'll understand why they haven't been spending much time outside. (Honestly, at this age, it takes just as much time to prepare them as it would for snow, and it's not nearly as much fun.)
I'd definitely rather have them in sight at this point, though: my 1-year-old climbs EVERYTHING and gets into a lot of trouble if he is unsupervised anywhere besides his crib!
Suzette says
Thanks! We are choosing to live simply and repurpose our abundance of walk-in closets into bedrooms for our children, which left the living area as the “play room” and I think that is the best idea given the reflection in this post. Praise the Lord for confirming our thoughts!
Hoping it is ok that I link this post to a post I will be doing on our small space living!
Emily says
Such a wonderful room! I'm married now, but we always wished for a room like this when my siblings and I were teens. Thank you for your comments on promoting habits that save purity. It's wonderful to hear another affirmation of what I've been taught since a child, and I hope to instill it in my own daughters too.
Mary says
For the many of us that homeschool, the “school room” is also an ideal place for the children to go with their friends. Generally a supervise-able room in the house (due to the nature of it being for schooling!) it works perfectly for table space (ie. board and table games) and even crafts. It invariably ends up bringing together topics of interest when the visiting children see the projects and school books of your children, too. Of course, a foosball table doesn't make it in the school room picture, but basements and garages can do their job in that department! 🙂
Jenn says
This is a lovely room ~ so bright and cheery! Thank you for sharing.
I very much appreciate your thoughts on entertaining in public spaces. My twin daughters are almost 7 years old. A few years ago, when playdates started, we made the house rule that we play with friends in the family room or outside. A wise friend with older girls gave me this advice, and said her girls have a rule that boys are not allowed in their room. She said it was better to start this rule when they were very young, so they grew up with it and were used to it when they were older and it would be highly important. We are still sticking to this rule, but most of my friends find it “strange”. They think, “They are only 6 years old – what could possibly happen?”
Thank you for your encouragement!
Sara says
I love your advice & your “can do/make do” attitude. I hadn't really thought about the not playing in bedroom rule before, but I can definitely see the wisdom & will adopt this as well. I prefer when my children play together where they are in earshot whether it's outside or inside (& with a small house this is not a hard thing!) Oh, and I love the sofa & the window treatment. My husband would love a Foosball table–we're patiently looking for one used.
Maria says
We just had a Baby Open House (read: meet the baby, no presents required, stay as long as you want) for our fourth child. While cleaning and rearranging I started to think more about how we use our house and I really appreciate your thoughts (and pictures as well). Nice job on the room.
Anonymous mother says
Take it from one who has learned the hard way, the no friends in bedrooms rule is very, very wise. You do not want to hear what my 10yo and his friend got up to in the bedroom.