Note to self: this is very cluttered. |
Let's face it, some design ideas are not suited for big families who don't so much dwell as wallow, sort of wreaking havoc on everything they come into contact with. For those of us who fantasize about a home that can be hosed down — you know, with drains in the middle of the floors, I mean who hasn't thought that would be a great idea — we need our own clever ideas in decorating.
Somehow I think that interior decorating advice for people who have monkeys jumping on the beds should perhaps be a wee bit different from that given to folks who check in at home every once in a while to see how the maids are getting on.
We all know that it's probably not a good idea for us to have lampshades made of rice paper delicately folded by practitioners of a lost art or an antique bottle collection on the coffee table.
I think that maybe there are some fairly popular ideas that you might be tricked into thinking will work for you.
They wouldn't work for me, and I just want to share with you why. Now, don't start hyperventilating if you have already adopted one of these dumb fabulous ideas. I bet you make it work. I bet if I came to visit you I'd leave thinking, “Wow, she really made that work.” So don't think I'm judging you, because I'm not.
I'm just saying.
So, without further eloquence, I present design ideas I can live without because of my delicately balanced sanity or my rambunctious family or both:
1. Dark colors on the walls.
Now, I know that some of you live in Florida or California or somewhere with tons of sunlight and you truly feel that the drama created by a dark wall or two is so worth it.
But you may not fully realize that in design magazines, not only has a professional lighting consultant and crew installed custom lighting in that room with the “eggplant aubergine” finish, but the photographs are taken with floodlights. So if you live somewhere with barely 90 “sunny” days a year like I do, you better think before you bring more darkness into your tenuous existence!
Since my electrical system was retrofitted to my pre-Edisonian-age house by someone's brother-in-law, and is slowly being rehabilitated by the Chief who truly does a great job not electrocuting himself and keeping us all safe, and furthermore any lamps I have come by the grace of the yard-saling gods (with the exception of the den lamps, bought from Marshall's through gritted teeth and slowly unclamping stiff fists), I'll stick with light colors on the walls, thanks.
2. Attaching things to the walls with glue or tape.
I've only lived in a new house once for about 4 months. I guess the walls there were smooth. I can hardly remember, as I was running after two babies, nursing one baby, and gestating another, and dealing with the reality of living somewhere where it snowed every single day for three weeks.
All I know with any certainty is crumbly plaster and DIY drywall. I'd far rather have a little hole in the wall from a nail or tack than that torn away place with horsehair sticking pathetically out, left by a piece of tape or glue. A lot of ideas out there in blogland involve taping or gluing, but I feel that this would be cause for regret later, because who is going to fix that wall up?
Whereas a little hole could have been made in the last century, not your fault.
Random articles that were handmade by a distant relative of my husband's. Thus, “family folk art” and worth dusting on occasion. |
3. Buying knickknacks on purpose to achieve a “look.”
It's worthwhile to take care of stuff that means something to you, but what is the point of creating dust opportunities when the stuff is random? Things aren't pretty if they are not clean. And I just don't know how motivated we will be to clean random stuff. We all collect stuff and I personally need to go through my house and purge. I have a semi-defunct boom box, large, featured right at this moment as a permanent fixture in the front hall. It's been there so long it looks intentional, like some kind of installation cooked up by a sick modernist artist making a commentary on ephemeral nature of audio technology. Only…it's dusty.
How am I supposed to take care of trinkets strewn around if I can't even deal with the stuff we use(d)?
4. Distressing furniture and surfaces on purpose.
I really feel that this is misguided.
Note completely naturally distressed molding. |
Is not life, as well as the furniture, getting more and more distressed with every passing minute? Do we really need expend energy and resources to hasten or mimic this process?
I understand the theory… If I distress it at the outset then what can go wrong later?
You can't fool entropy, though.
I say, either leave it as you found it or rest your eyes by making it smooth and even. It will get distressed soon enough.
My mother brought a book home from the library that featured about 12 projects using flea-market furniture and applying different finishes to each one. In each and every case I thought the item should have been left alone or else just spray painted black or white. It was all the distressing that left me shaking my head.
This cushion I made out of a silk |
5. Textured wallpaper, plaster, and grasscloth; and porous tile.
Just don't do it. Each and every little nook, cranny, bump, and pore is going to collect dust or, in the case of the bathroom, worse.
The wise mother of many chooses her surfaces based on their scrub-ability and wipe-ability. There are a host of pretty things with which to cover the walls and ceilings without laying a land mine in the future of your time management.
Would a drain in the middle of this room help? |
6. Buying matching appliances when you already have functioning ones.
This is more of a frugality issue than a decorating one, because who doesn't love matching appliances, but you can tank your budget by thinking you can't live without certain things.
A chair ripped up by cats we never even knew. Now, there's decorating advice: a throw will hide any unseemly marks on chairs rescued out of garages! |
Every magazine has a “before” and “after” spread on a kitchen in which the older white or black appliances have been swapped out for stainless steel. (I'm assuming we're beyond avocado and harvest gold, but if not, you should hang in there for the vintage look).
And yes, it looks amazing. But don't come complaining to me about how hard it is to live on one income if you're going to be doing such things.
Having very few cabinets in my kitchen, I was quite aware of the impact of my appliances on the decor — they take up so much of what your eye sees.
But I waited for every darned one to need to be replaced before I replaced it. And I found that black and stainless steel go together just fine. They don't have to match. I don't think you even notice that they are different.
I'm not saying you can't pray for those ugly appliances to die. The Lord's will be done.
But most of us can't afford to kick them out the door before their time. That's okay. I affirm you.
7. Making surfaces look like other surfaces.
Why? Formica is a fine countertop substance. It comes in some swell colors, although I admit that I'm not sure what the thinking was behind white, the color of my very own particular Formica, not chosen by me.
Embrace the Formica.
If you get “wood” or “granite” it just looks like you couldn't afford wood or granite. If you get aqua or orange or “light tea stain” so that light tea stains don't show up, no one really notices. The important thing is to keep your counter tops scrubbed clean at all times.
8. Back to paint: using light colors that have a lot of gray or blue in them.
I know that I often make the mistake of thinking everyone lives in the bleak northeast. Some people, though, make the mistake of thinking that everyone lives where the tropical sun is beating down on them 24/7.
A word to the wise: those of us battling SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and CSAD (changing seasons affective disorder) and HD (hormonal disorder) and ALOKD (a lot of kids disorder) need very little gray in our lives.
Now there is a wall that needs to be painted. It's not the right color at all. But you won't find me matching the paint color to that cold marble! |
Grayed whites look lovely in immaculate spreads in Architectural Digest. “Cloudy skies” is a great color for the summer house you never visit because you're always jetting to Monaco. But for the rest of us, I have one word: YELLOW.
Seriously, did you ever wonder why there are so many white paint chips? It's because white can come with so many undertones. If you choose a white with warm (yellow) undertones, you will be happy. If you choose one with cool undertones (gray or blue) you will be depressed and, well, cold. Now, if you live in Phoenix, maybe that's what you're after. God bless you. Where I am, those blue undertones are going to be the end of me.
If you love blue, get blue curtains and blue sheets. You will not be able to function if your walls are blue as well. I only reluctantly except greenish blues and periwinkle (my mother's room is a pretty shade of the latter), although I think they take a lot of painting to achieve the effect. But a grayish blue — Auntie Leila says no.
Remember, no comments about how your grasscloth counter tops work fine and you don't know what my problem is. My problem is that I have no energy left over for these bright decorating ideas. If you do, then you're a better man than I, and this I humbly acknowledge.
priest's wife says
“Buying knick-knacks on purpose to achieve a look”- OH YES! I push my cart in target past those $9 wicker balls made in China and am puzzled. WHY? Personally, I think that any knick-knack that doesn't tell a story is clutter
I think the problem is- people want a cozy look now- hence, the fake shabby stuff and impersonal knick-knacks. I love that your daughter didn't force her apartment to be her dream house- she just made nice paper art and left it at that. I think you have taught her well that a home is built over time.
_Leila says
The things you have should tell a story. I like that way of putting it.
I don't even mind if you saw something and loved it. I just don't get buying things for a certain “look” — usually someone else's…
Rabbit says
Agree with both of you. What helped me, when I first started out, were the hand-me-down's from my mother and aunts. A lot of the stuff they no longer wanted were things I'd grown up with, or things that had belonged to my grandmothers or great grandmothers. Free antiques and “heirlooms”–sign me up! 🙂
Rosie says
It's funny, because when we moved in to that furnished apartment, one of the provided “furnishings” was a bowl of decorative balls on the coffee table. They were covered in… I'm not sure what, actually. It looked like feathers, but it felt like styrofoam. Very strange. I mean stylish. But they made the Lt. downright angry – he couldn't figure out why in the world anyone would put these USELESS things RIGHT where he wants to put his feet up. I like it when my husband agrees with my decorating ideas!
They went in the closet for the duration of our stay, along with the fake plants and dingy dishtowels.
Annie says
I can't tell you how happy this post made me feel. Thank you once again, Auntie Leila!
Liz K says
I'm not saying you can't pray for those ugly appliances to die. The Lord's will be done.
Hahhah! I love you!
Keri says
Oh how I love you. (I know, I don't actually know you). But you have taken the words right out of my mouth, that I was too chicken to say out loud for fear of offending my nicely decorated friends. Truly, amen to every single pont!
Keri says
oops, I mean “point”.
Chris says
Oh…you make me laugh. I will embrace my formica.
Terry says
I just love reading your posts! They are always so full of common sense and great humor. The cat torn chair looks much like a rocking chair I have that was my Grandmothers and even though the “rocker” is broken, I cannot bring myself to get rid of it. It has to be at least 60 years old!
freckledhen says
I agree with each and every thought you share. Truthfully it has taken many mistakes on my part to realize what it is I really like or should I say what it is I really don't like.
Distressing furniture makes me crazy!
aviendha1979 says
My grandmother in Beirut has drains in her main rooms. Her maid throws down water every morning by the bucketful and squeegees it down the drain. Since I saw this, I have dreamed of such a thing in my kitchen. If I ever get to call the shots in our dwelling, it will be one of the first crazy things I try to do to the place. In the meantime, I'm living happily with our linoleum. At least it's not carpet. I have lived in places with carpet under the dining table.
PS. Thank you for writing this blog. I am in the midst of small children and far away from family and your posts seem to be timed almost Providentially on a day when I am starting feel a pity party come on. I prefer a swift kick in the tastoos and some practical advice to warm fuzzy. 🙂
Erin says
Great post. I saw some of my own decorating problems up there (the main one being my beautiful but too-dark-in-winter chocolate brown walls in the living room), and I live in a house with just three people!
Camille says
I love my chocolate brown walls, too! But I only have 2 and I get sun about 350 days a year so it works.
Rebecca says
A laugh-out-loud post….and right on!
Terry says
Oh and I forgot to mention that I totally agree with the floor drains – baths and kitchens should be made completely of tile including the ceiling so we can hose everything off, I have been dreaming of that for years.
Camille says
I do have the dark wall or two because I do live in a very, very sunny place. I have to say that you are right on with the fancy schmancy counters. We “settled” for formica while my mother got granite. She has to find a special cleaner to clean hers — I just use soap and water! And it's a lovely shade of grays and blacks that NEVER show dirt. I LOVE IT! 🙂
Any advice on floors?? We have wall to wall beige carpet and it gets filthy thanks to dust and dirt and lots of it. I'm talking black spots everywhere. I can pay $130 every 3 mos to get it cleaned, but my budget can't handle that. I'd love to replace it all, but again, not in the budget. But it drives me crazy to be living with such ugly, dirty carpet!
tarynkay says
Do you know what's under the carpet? If it's an older house, it might be wood floors or even terrazzo. If it's a slab built house and you have concrete under there, you can rip up the carpets and paint the concrete, which can look very nice and is nice and cool underfoot if you in a very sunny place. Area rugs are easier to keep clean than wall-to wall carpeting. If you can't or don't want to rip it up, area rugs over wall-to-wall carpeting can look nice and help keep the carpet cleaner. Those would be almost free solutions.
Rabbit says
I feel your pain, and I only have ONE room with beige carpet. 🙂
Do you allow shoes in the house? I would start there, if you normally allow people to walk around with shoes on, say no more shoes! If you have animals, try to keep them brushed/trimmed/etc. Try to keep clutter to a minimum to cut down on dusting. These might help cut down professional cleans to every 6 months.
evesbody says
We took our beige carpet out and put down wood laminate flooring downstairs and dark brown carpet upstairs. Much better!
Marija says
Yes to the cheap laminate. We moved into a home with cheap laminate and I hated it! I LOVE it now. Easy to clean and always looks OK!
Melissa D says
You forgot flooring. The previous owners of our house put down white linoleum in our large kitchen, which now hosts 3 kids between 5 and 1 for 3 meals a day.
CMerie says
We have white porous tile with large grout lines in our ENTIRE house (well, the bedrooms have wood laminate). I dream of one day tearing up all that tile and smashing it to bits!
When we first moved in the floor was white, the walls were white, and because there isn't a stitch of carpeting, it echoed. I felt like I was in a (dirty) hospital. We do live in Phoenix, so our front room which is south facing and gets sun all-day-long-every-day we painted olive. I love it, because it's cool and calming. But the kitchen and living room are in the back of the house and there is almost no sunlight that gets in there. We are (finally!) getting ready to paint in there and are going to go with a pale yellow to brighten and warm things up. I can't wait.
Kristen Laurence says
I agree with so much of this post! Design magazines are simply not written for families with kids. As much as I want to, there's no way I'd place a pair of glass hurricaines on my dining table!
That said, I used to have no accessories in my home – you know, “dust collectors”. But the fact is that a home doesn't really feel cozy without a few beautiful “knick-knacks”. Mine used to feel cold and uncomfortable until I started adding accessories. And we should be able to have a couple of breakable items and not fear the children will attack them. If they can touch and play with things for the most part, they won't touch the few things we teach them not to. Great accessory items for kids that add beauty might be a stack of books on the coffee table, some greenery planted in a kid-friendly urn, anything wooden – religious icons, candle holders. Then if we have a piece of italian pottery or a hand painted vase, the little ones won't go there (toddler age is always an exception of course – for these we keep the breakables up high but still in view.)
(continued…)
Kristen Laurence says
(…continued)
Slipcovers are also a great option for kids. I have upholstered dining chairs, and though so far they are in great shape now my five month old will soon be toddling – so I'm working on slipcovers now. White slipcovers are best for kids – not only can you wash them, you can BLEACH them! Your chair with the blanket on it would look fabulous slipcovered.
Funny anectode: I recently redecorated our bedroom, and added a http://mysmalltreasures.blogspot.com/2010/08/prog… target=”_blank”>ridiculous piece of coral to my nightstand. It's a total dust collector. I actually laughed out loud at myself for buying it, but everytime I walk in the room now it makes me happy. My husband likes it too. LOL!
Btw, I agree that gray in large quantities is depressing (even in a warm climate). But your marble fireplace mantle with those lovely veins is gorgeous!
_Leila says
As you can see from my photos, I'm not opposed to stuff per se 😉 It's more just random stuff that has no meaning that I'm getting at here.
One good thing about coral — you know it's washable! If you love it, then it's worth cleaning it!
Breanna says
I hate distressing furniture on purpose! To me it's the same crazy idea as buying jeans with holes already ripped in them. What's the point of making new stuff look like secondhand stuff that you haven't painted yet? (From a girl who grew up where the ripped jeans were what you wore to the barn…)
I love yellow walls in the kitchen–actually I think “buttermilk” was the paint color last time. My current kitchen has blue striped wallpaper with geese and apples that I really don't care for, but I can't change it right now because I'm pregnant and not supposed to sniff the wallpaper-removing/paint fumes. As soon as I'm on my feet again after baby gets here, though… buttermilk.
Jen says
Breanna, if you get that nesting itch ~ 1 C. vinegar to 1 gallon of hot water (will remove wall paper better than those removers) & low VOC paint. = “buttermilk” with no nasty fumes. 😉
Jennifer S
MamaHen says
I have a diagnosis- A Lot Of Kids Sydrome! Thank you Leila! You have made my day with this post. I live in a 70 year old farmhouse with four children who are at home all day. My house is naturally distressed. Every piece of furniture I have is hand-me-down. Literally. Well, we bought the wooden highchair. That's it. We were shabby before shabby chic was invented. 🙂
Denise says
You are absolutely right about everything you wrote. I too have cats that like to scratch on everything and no I didnt get rid of my furniture I just covered them and got the cats some of the cardboard scratchers. True now I have little bits of cardboard all over the house but my furniture is still together 🙂 When my mom and dad bought their house two old bachelors lived there and had painted the kitchen battleship gray and the livingroom was a deep green enamel. Needless to say those colors didnt last long! Mom painted her kitchen a cheery yellow and said she wasnt so depressed everytime she walked into the kitchen any more. Love all your posts by the way!
Rochelle says
Yes!!! I love that you are preaching contentment. This post did my soul good…as most of yours do!
I love pretty and I love kiddos, but when choosing between the two I am caught, I and pick babies. I love that you are helping us use common sense with our decorating….
As to the Yellow vr. Gray, I definitely think it depends on where you live. My husband and I (both!! thank the Lord!) are in the Yellow camp, but our friends and neighbors from CA are all about the Gray…but in LA I think you can do gray and blue all day long, unlike places it might SNOW or already have Gray light.
Off to dust my useful things so they look more like accessories…thanks for the inspiration!
Cary says
We have the avocado stove and the coordinating harvest gold counter tops. And, we are specially 'blessed' to have an avocado green toilet and tub! A funny story: On her first visit to our home, our neice, who had just been potty trained was scared of the toilet. On her next visit, she said to my sister, “Mommy, when is Aunt Cary going to clean the toilet?”
(I have added curtains, towels, rugs, etc. to work with the colors we have until the appliances, and such, die!)
Betsy M says
My nephew LOVED visiting our last house just so that he could use the green potty. 🙂 Kids are great.
womanofthehouse says
I still have gold formica countertops, though thankfully the avocado wallpaper is gone and we gradually changed all the appliances. It took a looooooong time, however, to get rid of the OLD avocado vinyl. (Ahem . . . 14 years, to be exact!) Underneath that was a truly ancient layer of dark blue linoleum. And under that were wood floors! If only we'd known sooner . . .
Laura says
We have the harvest gold stove top and hood, and the swirly gold and white formica countertops… black wall ovens and dishwasher, bisque fridge and white freezer… It comes down to this: When the old stuff dies, it's replaced with the best deal we can get on a quality appliance… We also have the avocado green tile, tub and toilet in the guest bath… I am thankful for what we have, and just try to make it look as nice as possiblle.
Pippajo says
Another post that made me smile a lot! And I have a few thoughts:
1. I must be some kind of weirdo because I can't stand stainless steel appliances! When we re-did our kitchen three years ago, I went for all white appliances on purpose. Everyone thought I was nuts! But I love it! Stainless is just too industrial-looking for me.
2. I think I have bought new furniture from a furniture store twice (our bed-which we got on clearance in the scratch and dent room but is still new and of inferior quality, and our dining room table and chairs) and I regret both purchases! Everything else is either hand-me-down, thrifted, yard-saled, or rescued from the dump. And I have to say, all the old and used stuff has worn much better and lasted longer!
3. Had to love the shot of the family room (I assume with things piled on the back of the sofa and someone lounging with barefeet. That looks just like our living room, except much tidier!
4. Because it can't be said enough: YELLOW, YELLOW, YELLOW! I didn't notice until just now but all the rooms in our home are painted or papered in warm or bright colors. Not a blue or grey room in the house. And I've been aching, just aching to change the camel-colored walls in the living room to a bright, sunny yellow! The outside of the house is yellow, Redheaded Snippet's room is yellow and I think I could live with a lot more of it.
Thanks again for another informative and entertaining post.
_Leila says
I know. I don't know why everyone has to have SS appliances and granite counter tops. It's getting so that even the most modest ranch has to have them!
Of course, you have the appliance to end them all. Please do not call up my vintage-Garland-stove envy. Trying for contentment here…
Elizabeth Nichols says
I don't like stainless steel either! I accidentally insulted my mother-in-law who bought a new fridge in ss. I like white myself. Also…a lot of stainless steel things aren't magnetic, so what is a mama to do with all the artwork and photos and the like?
Anne Marie says
I don't hate stainless steel, but I do see it as a trend, and trends never last. Maybe this, and the must-have-granite insanity is here to stay, but I sincerely doubt it. In a few years, it'll be some other thing that's considered must-have in all kitchens.
I happen to like my white appliances very much. There's nothing wrong with getting what you like for your own home.
Emily says
I love how you're willing to show us a cluttered photo. 🙂 Although the photo of the living room (“would a drain help?”) looks just fine to me! Lived in. As it should be.
I'm one of those people who lives in a perpetually sunny climate, and I have to say that I love the grey-blues that you deplore. Our bedroom is my favorite room in the house…it has filmy curtains covering the window to filter the brightness to “dreamy”, creamy grey-blue bedding/comforter, and dark cherry furniture. I breathe a sigh of relief when I walk into that cool, calm environment.
That said, if I lived in a place where it rains all the time, I'd probably feel differently.
And a semi-random question: how often do you think light colored walls need to be A) washed, and B) re-painted?
CarlynB says
I recently told someone that I do not understand this trend to paint furniture then whack at it with various implements so that it looks “worn with time.” My furniture is already distressed to the point of anguish and it got that way simply by hanging around my house with kids (I only have one child – but he's got many friends and relations) and dogs.
Also – I must tell you that there are still Harvest Gold kitchen appliances out there. Our stove has been in our kitchen since 1975, and she's still going strong. She has a nice wide space between the burners for my cheery red teapot to sit. Cute as a button, to me.
My house has the dreaded “sprayed” ceilings in the living room and dining room and I really, really, despise them. I do not know why anybody thought that having millions of tiny cob-web/dust catching bumps on the ceiling was a good idea.
Laura says
Amen, girl! I would much rather get rid of my bumpy, dusty ceilings rather than my harvest gold stove top and vent hood.
marija says
They thought it was a good idea b/c they hide many sins of builders! They cover tons of mistakes and the look looks uniform, complete, but ridiculous and ugly!
Mom in MO says
I REALLY like yellow—-but I'm really hoping our yellow TOILET will die. Do toilets ever die????
Christie says
Not unless you flush a cell phone down it (true story!). LOL
Klm says
I know this is literally years after, but its been so many decades since toilets were commonly colors other than white, surely you could justify replacing it for water efficiency reasons!
Anitra says
I will agree to disagree with you on the paint colors – but then again, I really don't like most yellows. The rooms we've gotten around to repainting in our New England concrete bunker.. I mean, post-WWII house are: green, blue, and gray. 🙂 I have to say that I LOVE the way gray walls soften our black-and-white bathroom, and I love the dark green accent wall in our kids' bedroom – but I wouldn't do gray in a larger room, and I think dark colors only work as an accent up here in the land of limited sunlight.
I don't really get the attraction of wallpaper, textured or not. It's harder to clean than a painted wall, and as it ages (or cats attack), it rips and peels. We have ripped wallpaper all over our main kitchen/living/dining room. 🙁
And our master bedroom combines #5 & #7 – someone put in fake wood paneling a long time ago. And then someone else painted over it. Someday we'll get around to ripping it down and doing a nice plain paint job.
I have a 40-year-old table with a formica top that LOOKS like wood but is so much more durable… but that's the only time I've seen formica masquerade successfully as something else, instead of just looking cheap (like our faux-wood formica countertops).
Joy says
This is great advice, Leila. I live in a rental so I can't change walls or floors or appliances. I use curtains, slipcovers, and pictures to decorate. My bedroom is blue and cool because I sleep better in that peacefulness, but my living areas are blue and red and yellow which make us all happy. 🙂 My kitchen has old, crumbly harvest gold linoleum on the floor (I'm guessing that is is original to the house or close to it), but the rest of my floors are hardwood and I love them! They are so easy to care for as opposed to carpet and the light golden brown is so warm feeling.
I have many knick-knacks but they are from my family or have a special story behind them. I tend not to keep things that don't make me remember as I dust. Why waste valuable time I could be reading? 😉 My favorite sets of knick-knacks though are three little white monkeys with hands covering their eyes or ears or mouth. They sat on the dining room mantle in my mother's house when she was a little girl and any time something she shouldn't see or hear or speak came up during mealtime conversations, her mother or father would point to the monkeys. They are worth dusting. 🙂
Mom in MO says
I REALLY like yellow, but I'm also waiting for my yellow TOILET to die. Do toilets die????
Sarah says
Yes!
I'm waiting for the avocado and yellow appliances to come back in.
And, if you put enough magnetic pictures on your refrigerator, noone will notice that it doesn't match the rest of the kitchen appliances.
tarynkay says
I actually love the avocado green and harvest gold appliances and dislike stainless steel. But if you hate the color of your appliances, there is such a thing as appliance paint, which works quite well. I once painted a very ugly fridge with chalkboard paint, too, which was fun.
MemeGRL says
We were so lucky to be gifted a dining room table and chairs when our kids were small. It was an old table that had seen better days. I try to encourage the kids to NOT damage it–someday, and at friends' houses, there are tables that are not meant to be battered. But I am so grateful to have one that I do. not. care. about the “distressing.” They are small, they are boys, they are enthusiastic lego builders, play-doh shapers, craft-makers…and table bangers, whether they mean to be or not. And every chip tells a story of a happy boy, and that makes me a happy mom.
And thanks for the great point about blues and grays. I love a nice light blue, but I'm thinking maybe ceiling instead of walls. As we enter winter, more sunniness, not less, is what we're looking for here!
Nancy says
Thank you for this post…need to be reminded that our ancient furniture looks perfectly fine and makes a home. I need to be reminded of this as many of my neighbors have decorated their home with their own interior decorator…or buy Ethan Allen furniture full price at the drop of a hat. I think I need to get out of this neighborhood.
Rabbit says
OHHHH I can identify with this! We're so lucky to be in the home/neighborhood that we live in…but our neighbors have different spending habits (or so it seems). We don't care that our furniture was our grandparents' or if it's new, it doesn't match everything else because we bought it piece by piece and on sale. Keep doing what you're doing!
Rabbit says
When DH & I were house hunting, EVERYONE was doing kitchen “upgrades,” with stainless steel and granite, to make a better sale on older homes. The house we bought was 8 years old…and has off-white appliances and Corian countertops! Much more our style 🙂 I'd rather have a newer house than a “flashy” kitchen.
Rachel P. says
You know, I have to say “clean” is the only decor style that is universal. It really doesn't matter what style you have if it isn't clean it isn't pretty. After all, that's always what I find myself admiring in magazines. How beautiful and clean everything looks.
Dee says
This cracked me up. I am so on your wave length. I just went in to order a completely new bathroom, and based all my decisions on how easy each piece was to clean. I did also consider what (hopefully) wouldn't date too badly, as I'm hoping not to redo this room for 30 years or so. We are in the process of painting all rooms warm white. I need light. I have also asked if the tiles can be laid with silicon rather than grout, butted right up against each other, I hate cleaning grout. When my boys were little, I literally dreamed of a room (s) that could be hosed down 🙂
Lauren says
Oh, I love you with all my heart! You make me laugh, nod, look behind me at my mantle and pet my formica all at the same time!
Cathy says
We had that cheap faux wood countertop and no dishwasher for years! I don't even think it was formica maybe some sort of vinyl laminate? We replaced it with corian and a dishwasher. Now all my dishes have chips and cracks. Nary a chip with the cheap ugly countertop and hand washing.
briana says
I totally agree! The paint that was in our house when we bought it has blue undertones and it is so depressing even though it is white. I use thumbtacks to hang things all the time, they hold more weight than you would think and leave a tiny hole. We always use semi-gloss paint in every room, you can scrub it without damaging the paint job.
I am finally getting enough confidence to love my funky kid handled house and furnishings and not worrying about how magazine unworthy my house is.
Sue says
Maybe those folks in Florida with the burgundy walls are trying to mimic the feel of their original home back up north! We have another issue here, which is “teen-tiny.” Trust me when I say that dark colors and teeny-tiny living spaces do not go together! I am oh-so-happy to be surrounded by peach and yellow.
If anyone wants to get that distressed look very quickly, just get a pet rabbit like we did. We are beyond distressed here thanks to him.
You hit the nail on the head, once again, dear Leila! xo
elizabethe says
LOVE this. Especially the knick knacks thing. I hate redesign shows where they create art for a poor family just for display. Why clutter a perfectly good surface with something that means nothing to anyone?
My one slight caveat on all your points is just a point of emphasis. I hope people realize that yellow undertones are very different from actual yellow. We wanted a light sunny room and we painted our large living room yellow — it didn't even seem like a particularly bright shade of yellow. But we soon discovered that the room was way too intense to spend any amount of time in — we just never even went in there in the daytime. I looked into it and found out that yellow is the one color that your eyes can't adjust to to tone down the intensity. So we repainted.
On the other hand, our bathroom (a smaller space) is yellow, a much lighter shade, a slightly cooler yellow (yes, yellow can be cool). And it's a wonderful happy room.
So be careful with yellow.
Yellow undertones for whites or tans is a totally different thing.
I have my “sitting room” (that's just what we call it) blue/gray and I love it. It's accented with really rich warm browns all around the room though and we have the original wood floors which are almost red, so I think that might help mitigate the coldness of the paint. But then, I live in a hot climate. It's also the only blue room in the house, so it's like a little cool oasis in an otherwise bright and sunny house.
_Leila says
I recommend using the historical colors from Benjamin Moore or California paints (I'm sure there are other companies that offer this).
I had the same experience with a yellow I chose on my own. Yuck.
But with the historical colors, the balance is right. I love my yellow kitchen! It's sunny without being harsh. The truth is, and I have to admit it, there is gray in it, but balanced correctly so that it's still warm but not overwhelming.
The same goes for other colors. They just have it worked out so that you can live with the colors and not feel like you made a big boo boo.
elizabethe says
That's great advice. I think we all think we can just pick a color we “like” and it will turn out great.
I tend to go with Martha Stewart colors now after the yellow fiasco — she's not for everyone but I have similar color taste to her so I am just drawn to all her color palettes. In fact, the grey blue/brown scheme I have in my room is hers.
Your kitchen sounds like my bathroom.
sibyl says
Well, I have kitchen walls that are medium/dark gray, but I love it. It's not brown, which is the color of the wood cabinets, trim, and floor (salvaged wide-plank wood flooring that is, ahem, rustic, and very durable but very brown). I find all that wood-brown makes me feel depressed, and since there's not much to be done about it (cabinets can't be painted any color that I like because the formica counter tops are HUNTER GREEN, so nasty but came with the house) I feel the gray softens the total effect.
However, everything else you said I totally agree with. I've paged through so many home magazines, and every article has a formula. We look at the house, we hear why the owners just had to do it that way, how much they love it. Then there is, in every single case, some comment from the homeowner about how he/she really wanted a casual house that you could just live in — they have two kids and two dogs! No matter how outlandish, breakable, dust-gathering or downright dangerous the decorating is, you will always find this same statement. They want a home that is relaxed, inviting, and easy to live in — no plastic on the furniture for this guy!
Paula says
Love this post. Hilarious and oh-so-true. I have not thought of a drain in the middle of the room, but several times while blowing leaves in the autumn, I have thought how wonderful it would be to use the leaf-blower inside the house, to blow it all into a pile and bag it up. I have to admit, I once opened up both sides of my minivan and blew out all the “contents.” Worked like a charm. 🙂
Janet says
Brilliant.
You have cured me of coveting walls painted in 'Sheer Light' – a white infused with pale grey. The paint chip is lovely, though.
And I knew someone who served in the Army in Turkey during the early '80s who had a kitchen with that drain in the middle of the floor. He was still talking about it 15 years later and wishing he could have one in his kitchen in Georgia. I fantasize about it too.
_Leila says
If you really love a color that you know would drive you crazy in an ordinary room you can do what I did — paint the powder room with it!
There is no natural light in there at all (it's under the stairs), so I painted it bright aqua, a color I would never attempt in a room with windows, just because of all the blue, and the need to get the paint to look good in changing light.
I love it!
It's really fun.
Janet says
Great idea, Leila! Now you've got me thinking…or maybe I can paint just the wall behind the shelves that are mounted there to show off my collections…thanks!
Also, just read your post from the ICU and will add Habou to the list.
Janet
womanofthehouse says
I loved this post! It took me a long time to realize that those magazine houses were staged and phony. You'd have thought I would have known that, but I was young and foolish. Now I much prefer houses where you can tell the families are really *living*. I also don't get those big fancy-schmancy kitchen re-do's for people who never cook! And I detest stainless steel. It reminds of the my school cafeteria when I was a kid. lol
Lori says
I just painted two walls in our great room( Living,kitchen & dining) a warm dark brown, almost chocolate but our cielings are 10 foot. I love the color and I finally have the warm, cozy feel I have been looking for. The rest of my walls are a faux finish of gold, cream and coffee for an old world look. I live in Michigan and now I'm wondering at the wisdom of my color choice! I guess by March I'll either stil love it or be looking for a new color!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us Leila!
Lisa says
So very, right on. Thank you for your wisdom and common sense.
Karen says
Yes, yes, yes! I also want a drain in my kitchen and bathroom floors. As for the intentionally distressed furniture, I agree that it is a waste of time and energy. Kids will do it for you anyway. I do have a distressed dining table that I have had for over thirty years. It wasn't distressed to begin with, but after several years of use I have noticed a tiny, crooked happy face pressed into the surface, resulting from my daughter's efforts to produce a homemade card when she was about 4. She's nineteen now, and the happy face still makes me smile. That's my kind of distressed furniture.
aunt sue says
I laughed through this whole post. I found out that the stainless steel appliances you lust after have one drawback, they dent easily. One rushing toddler on a riding toy can do permanent damage …and…..glasses shatter on granite counter tops. Once long ago I thought of going into business distressing furniture. People could pay me $200 and I'd just put the article in my house for 6 months. Voila!
_Leila says
So true.
I don't actually lust after SS appliances myself. I like the way my oven looks just fine (but I got it at the outlet and like the features more) (it's funny b/c it has a retro styling along with the SS, which I think is sort of confused yet accurately captures my style) but wouldn't want a fridge that was SS for the reasons you mention, also that every fingermark would show.
Eva says
I do live in the Phoenix area, and even I like white with a touch of yellow better. When we first moved into our house, I used a white paint with a touch of grey. It always looked a little dirty and drab. The next time I painted I went to white with just a touch of yellow. Much cheerier. Now that is the standard color all over.
I do like some greens on some walls, not enough of that color outside.
Elisa says
Amen to all of those. I will definitely never understand the distressing on purpose. That's like buying holey jeans on purpose. For now, we are stuck in a completely white walled house w/ ugly gray tiles (yay for military housing). I cannot WAIT until we are out and have a place I can paint. I will be painting it YELLOW, ORANGE and PINK wherever I want =)
Christie says
So true about white paint with a gray cast. Had it in my house when I moved in and it was so depressing! I painted it in the first week 🙂
Thanks for the motivation on keeping those mis-matched appliances. I have a white fridge, black dishwasher, and white with black stove. Not sure who thought it was a nice color scheme, but I am really wanting stainless. But am learning to live with it. And hoping they die soon… LOL
Jaykaym says
Totally agree on never paint a room blue. I once had my kitchen painted a very trendy pale grey blue. It was as sterile and unappealing as an operating room theater. It made all of us look ill andy you couldn't stand to cook in the kitchen much less eat in there. You wanted to immediately kill yourself. I repainted it YELLOW within days.
Erin says
Awesome post! I love everything you said! (As someone who moved from sunny So Cal to Eastern Washington, I'm here to tell you, even Southern California's have a tough time pulling off dark walls or gray!)
polly says
Love this post! (Although I admit I am one who does, in fact, enjoy and thrive upon a grey-blue, more grey than blue, in our bedroom–so soothing! But I also don't live in the northeast!)
And praying for Habou. We've been living at the in-laws' for 2 weeks and I only just saw this and read about her surgery. Prayers for sure!
Stephanie says
I love this post! We have child-resistant wood laminate floors. We will never go back to carpet again! We don't even have to lay down tarps or sheets if we paint as we can just wipe the floors or scrape them with the wood paint mixers when we're done.
Gray is for depressing doctor's offices. Granite is overrated and overpriced. Kitchen decorations should be practical and useful – trivets, cookbook holders, Grandma's cast iron skillet, potted herbs, etc. Other decorations should reflect the family's heritage, beliefs, experiences, and culture. If they're abstract, they should hold some sentimental connection to the family. Trendy decorations have to be tossed and replaced every few years, and that's money down the drain. Stainless steel appliances are harder to clean. I've been so much happier with our black stove top since I'm not slaving over scrubbing it after every meal to make it shine, yet also being careful to not scratch it.
mel says
“Let's face it, some design ideas are not suited for big families who don't so much dwell as wallow, sort of wreaking havoc on everything they come into contact with.”
Teehee…perfectly true, that.
I love yellow and use it liberally. We live in a warmer, pretty sunny most of the time place, but we have an *old* house with *teeny* windows and get very little sunlight actually in the house.
carrien says
I love this post. But I have to disagree with you on yellow white. I find yellow whites depressing. To me they always look dingy and dirty, whereas a nice blue gray looks fresh and clean a whole lot longer, especially if you brighten it with red and turquoise accents.
And that was when I still lived in the cold north of Canada. 🙂
Kimberly says
I just signed up to follow your blog, I love it!!
Angie says
An excellent post! Just what I needed to hear as a mother of 6 children, 8 years old and under, trying to decorate her first house…
Thanks!
Jen says
So, I love this post, but let's get down to brass tacks. I used to hate yellow. In my family, something which “appeared too yellow” was practically criminal- way worse than burnt food. Although I am not likely to wear it or choose a yellow dish towel, I love the way it makes me feel sunshiny and happy in other peoples' houses. As a recovering yellow-hater, I am unsure how to choose a good shade. After all, it might be too yellow. Any suggestions? How do you keep it bright, happy, and a little calm, too?
_Leila says
Jen, so much depends on the light in your room. Here in New England, a bright yellow can indeed look terrible. It's something about the light…
The yellow that I find just right is Benjamin Moore's Hawthorne yellow. I do have a historic house (aka old) and so the BM historic colors seem to work well for me.
I find that in general, the historic colors are mixed just right. They have a balance. When I've had paint mixed without reference to the historic chart, things go wrong.
You can also choose a white with yellow undertones. In a big room, this will read as yellow. How to find the undertones? Compare the chips and keep discarding the ones that look less yellow. BM Calming Cream is quite buttery (but not in my house — it's just white in my house! not much light in here).
In a small room, you need a deeper tone.
If you live in Arizona or California, you can choose a brighter yellow. Something about the light works with it. Here it would just look harsh, I think. I dunno.
One thing I've discovered is that you can often search for a paint color (by name) on Pinterest and come up with rooms! That's exciting and helpful!
Jen says
Thank you! And a big bear hug! I will check out the colors you mentioned. 🙂
Martha says
Love the bird decors! I agree though, never buy knickknacks on purpose to achieve a “look” especially if you constantly change your home's theme. You'll just end up wasting money. Great tips, by the way. Well done!
Cherie says
You are so right about everything. We love our Banana Cream yellow paint from Lowes. After 20 years I still think it’s the perfect light color. It makes me feel as if I’m standing in a sunbeam. We used it for all the rooms that are open to each other and the main bathroom. Everything could use a fresh coat though. We are looking for a grandma chair to replace the one I passed on to a cousin. I also regret getting rid of a huge fuzzy furry couch hand me down. Do pay to have your comfy favorites reupholstered.
Merry Christmas all.