The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Be sure to use the discount code LO30 for 30% off The Little Oratory this week at Sophia Institute Press — only for Like Mother, Like Daughter readers. They offer $5 flat shipping for all orders in the US, by the way!
Just giving local folks a heads up about this beautiful Mass — the Ordinariate’s Feast of Title and Dedication on the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter, to take place on Feb 22, 7:30 pm at St. Patrick's upper church, 9 Pomeworth St. Stoneham MA. My mom and The Chief plan to be there! (And aren't their handbills beautiful?)
This week's links!
Lettering and handwriting:
- I loved this video of the master penman Jake Weidmann. I'm inspired by how he has always striven to make everything he writes – even class notes when he was a kid – beautiful. The dedication pays off, as you will see!
- I think it's common sense to most of us, but it's worth learning about it some more depth: why handwriting notes is more effective than typing. I am obsessing about how much I'm loving my newly adopted habit of using a physical daily planner this year – I hope to blog about it soon.
In other art news:
- Perhaps you and/or your kids would enjoy this Bodleian Coloring book which you can print out?
- An article on Norman Rockwell's illustrations of Huckleberry Finn.
- From Pondered In My Heart, a lovely, hand-drawn Lenten Calendar you can print out and your little ones can color in – a helpful visual aid to the Lenten journey.
Some Politics lessons:
- How does the presidential election process actually work? A poster and accompanying info.
- And another, short article: Who Elects the President?
On Relationships:
- Complementarity: Lessons from Little House in the Big Woods. Have you ever thought about how formative this classic American story is, as far as understanding the important differences between mothers and fathers (or Mas and Pas)? We are currently obsessing over this book, as Finnabee received it on audio from her uncle for Christmas and can.not. get. enough. (Yesterday evening she spent a fair amount of time chasing “panthers” using the long wand attachment of my vacuum.)
- The End of Small Talk. This man reflects on how to change the dating scene – and the friend-seeking-scene in general – by eliminating dull small talk. What do you think? On the one hand, I find it appealing because yes, in general I'd rather jump right into a fascinating and personal conversation with someone. On the other hand, it seems like an attempt to short-cut through the ground-laying work of relationships. Would you find this guy to be pleasantly authentic, or… jerky?
- How Our Housing Choices Make Adult Friendship More Difficult. I'm always interested in a thoughtful critique of modern residential planning and how it affects culture. I found this piece very thought-provoking. I will say, however, that I take issue with a few premises here; the resistance to unsupervised children's play being one of them.
We, of course, advocate the Pockets as a remedy for difficulty in making friends and sharing life with them! In an ideal world, the Pocket would be as local as possible, so that this “walkable” form of friendship would be attainable. But it is interesting to note how our infrastructure can be working against us.
In the liturgical year:
- Today is the Memorial of St. Paul Miki and Companions!
From the archives:
- Get your Lenten ducks in a row! And by ducks we mean books. (Yes, by archives we mean yesterday.)
- A really nice salad with roasted squash and whole grains from Rosie.
- A lesson on brainstorming your menu planning.
~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~
Stephanie says
Hi Deirdre,
Thank you for the links, both beautiful and thoughtful – lots to read and explore this weekend! 🙂
Just a little “typo” note for correction – I hope you don’t mind my mentioning it, but I believe your description of the first “art” link should read Bodleian, not Bodelian.
Happy Weekend! And happy “Little House” reading and playing! Isn’t that series just wonderful? 🙂
Deirdre says
Thanks for the correction, Stephanie! Hope you enjoy the reading. 🙂
Carol Kennedy says
Thanks for the article on the way we build/arrange housing affecting friendship formation…I totally agree. I have often felt that our habit of driving into my garage and entering my house through the inside of the closed garage is a real problem for forming community. I also have thought that the actual layout of newer houses contributes to the contraceptive mentality in our society. Huge master bedrooms, kid’s rooms separated from the parents (here in Texas it is impossible to find a house with an upstairs master!) and a kids play/social areas separate from parents (game rooms, etc.). I once wrote an article about just this subject: http://ckenhome.blogspot.com/p/evils-of-homework-and-soccer.html
And the video of the Master Penman is a family favorite! My son (11yo) is very inspired by that young man!
Janet says
Great blog entry! Youth sports are definitely anti-family. Notice that the “quality family time” of employed mothers with sports kid[s] consists in standing on the sidelines and watching her kid participate–no interaction or conversation other than screaming “go go go”. The sad thing about it all, is that if you opt out, there will be no neighborhood kids for your children to play with–they’re all off at soccer practice or.
Re housing prices–there was one more factor: a Supreme Court decision in the early 70’s requiring banks to count the income of young wives when deciding on mortgage applications. Prior to this decision, banks had been discounting the income of women in the childbearing years on the assumption that once they got the mortgage, they would quit paid employment to take care of their children. This caused the income available for starter homes to double overnight, and the cost of starter homes followed and also doubled in every major metropolitan area within 5 years—just when we were starting out. So from the court that legalized contraception, abortion, and gay marriage….yet one more forgotten atrocity.
Susan (DE) says
I was very interested in the how-housing-options-relate-to-friendships piece — but I was slightly confused by your comment about their “resistance to unsupervised play” comment. I didn’t scan extensively, but what I saw them saying was, it is UNSAFE for children to play alone outside in many places.
Do you disagree?
I have fallen into the caution camp with my children, perhaps because we have never (since around 1982, when I had a baby/toddler) had a home with a fenced in yard. Even in our last home, where we had a nice back yard, that yard also abutted several other backyards in the “development.” We were at the EDGE of the development and it didn’t feel as if we were part of it AT ALL — there we were, with the option of having my kids accessible to WHO KNEW WHO??? And unless someone (me/older sibling) was at least sort of nearby, we could go quite a while with very young children completely out of eyesight. And my hearing isn’t all that great. And our front yard abutted a road where, at certain times of day, people drove by FAST.
So, no. We didn’t just let our little ones out to play without someone nearby, even though they had LOTS of time to do pretty much whatever they wanted INSIDE (NOT playing with computers — just playing).
But can you help me understand what you’re thinking? Just curious.
Deirdre says
Hi Susan,
Those who have been following along with my {b&p} will know that I frequently share pieces about how important free and unsupervised play is for children. It is an important topic to me that has only become more important to me as I’ve entered the mothering years and witnessed more and more the craziness that is helicopter parenting.
I shared about this most openly in this post from a while back: http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2014/03/bits-pieces-15/
What struck me in this housing article were two points: 1) that the author tosses off the premise that neighborhoods are inherently less safe now than they were a generation ago, which is not an established fact but indeed a widespread belief that leads to less free play for kids; and 2) that the example shown in the photo of the baugruppen is one that I find depressing: yes, there’s a little green space there for the kids, but it’s designed based on the assumption that children must never be out of sight of adults and must have all their play take place in a very limited and “approved” environment. Not much scope for the imagination there! (As a side-note, that kind of housing is also very limiting as to family size. Clearly there is an assumption that only a small, certain number of children will be born to each family.)
My stance is: if you as the mom know where your kids are and are confident that they are within a reasonable scope of safety, you should be as hands-off as you can. At least that’s something that I’m working towards. 🙂
Susan (DE) says
Sigh. I just answered and the internet (our lack of access for a minute or so) swallowed my answer. Sigh.
Anyway, thank you for your answer. I understand what you are saying, and I have NOT been a hovering kind of mother inside our home, but safety matters greatly to me, and I know PERSONALLY about incidents where children of people I actually knew were s*xually molested by a nice grandfatherly sort (or so he seemed) or by a baby-sitter… I would just rather be cautious than spend many, many years regretting my lack of caution. NOTE: I AM NOT “accusing” the parents of said children of lack of caution! I don’t know if the “world” really IS less safe than it seemed in my childhood — or if it just SEEMS so — but I can’t help it. I have been cautious for 34 years of mothering, and I am not sorry. 🙂 And yes, my older children have grown up to be independent and (mostly) happy, and they had LOTS and LOTS of time to play unsupervised, including outdoors if our situation was more isolated. But I was a watchful mother. And I still am. 🙂
Kevin McDermott says
Thank you once more for noticing our doings! Father and I — the Verger (yes, the one with the stick…) and several of our parishioners — have just returned from Houston where we witnessed the Consecration of our new Bishop — perhaps some of you watched the amazing liturgy on EWTN? It was a remarkable, awe-inspiring, and Spirit-filled event. I hope some of you will join us in worship on February 22nd as we celebrate our Ordinariate’s Feast of Title and this remarkable Providence of God. If you do…please introduce yourselves to Father and/or myself and tell us how you found us! For this Solemn High Mass we will be presenting one of the true gems of the Anglican Patrimony — in my opinion, the finest congregational setting of the Mass in the English language, the English-born Canadian composer Healey Willan’s wonderful Missa Sancta Maria Magdalena. If you like it…tell your parish music director it is available in an edition using the text of the Roman Missal, third edition, here: http://birettabooks.com/go/webstore/product/missa_de_sancta_maria_magdalena/ Hope to see you on the twenty-second! God bless you all! Please pray for Bishop Lopes and the Ordinariate!
Janet says
The master penmanship video was gorgeous. I wanted to remind moms starting out with homeschooling, that cursive writing is not just a fancy artistic accomplishment reserved for those with a special drive in that direction. Cursive writing [usually with a fountain pen] is taught in first grade in most non-English-speaking countries, and was also standard in English speaking countries until 100 years ago.Teach cursive first! Because, compared to printing, cursive…
” is less fine-motor skill intensive.
All the lowercase letters begin in the same place on the baseline.
Spacing within and between words is controlled.
By lifting the pencil between words, the beginning and ending of words is emphasized.
It is difficult to reverse letters such as b’s and d’s.
The muscle memory that is mastered first will last a lifetime.”
from here: https://www.logicofenglish.com/blog/44-handwriting/122-why-teach-cursive-first
Here is research from Quebec-children who learn cursive do better in reading comprehension and writing than children who learn printing, or children who learn both systems:http://www.ajc.com/weblogs/get-schooled/2013/sep/16/study-learning-cursive-first-grade-helps-students/
Here’s why to use a fountain pen: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/08/ballpoint-pens-object-lesson-history-handwriting/402205/–short summary–it requires less pressure. My note-it requires more pressure on the downstroke than the upstroke, and so encourages legible writing and correct letter formation.
Writing notes by hand even helps college students develop a better grasp of the subject http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/take-notes-by-hand-for-better-long-term-comprehension.html
Here are some Charlotte Mason and Montessori links https://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/cursive-first/
http://www.montessoriutah.com/why-cursive-first/
Deirdre says
Wow, Janet — maybe I should republish all of this as a {b&p} cursive intensive! Thanks for all the info – love it!!
Janet says
HI Diedre
Thanks for your kind words-nice to know I’m not just typing into the void. On a personal note, perhaps you might be interested to know, I started teaching English as a second language when my youngest left for college 15 years ago. I have seen children from all over the world. Those who were first taught to write (usually after age 7!) in cursive and with a fountain pen just do so much better. They even do better than their younger siblings who learn to write here, so we can’t just calk it up to being from more educated or elite families. I wish I had known enough to do this with my own.
logan says
I’m going to take this as permission to buy a fountain pen! 🙂
Annalisa says
Janet, this is really interesting to me. I never mastered cursive though I wish now I were more proficient at it. My grandmother’s writing was so beautiful compared to the utilitarian, sloppy printing I make. I now I read that it’s not even utilitarian! My children are still learning to write so there’s still time for them. Have you used a program to teach cursive that you liked?
Janet says
My advice is based on 20-20 hindsight, alas. Here’s what I wish I had done: http://www.peterson-handwriting.com/training_tools/cursive_first.html
I like it because of the emphasis on rhythm and fluency and whole body movement.
Remember you can guide handwriting by placing your hand over your child’s hand. (Sounds like a no-brainer, but those of us who learned in school….sometimes overlook the obvious. Also, I think kids in school have trouble with handwriting because they are asked to write much too much too soon.
The French use something like calligraphy paper for all school work, which I think is a great idea. For writing I prefer use a slant-available on standard calligraphy paper. (The French teacher I share a classroom with uses this kind of paper.) This paper would also be great for math for keeping columns straight. . http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/521733-french-cursive-handwriting/
I might also use an italic nib–but only if the line spacing on the paper is big enough
Hope this helps.
Mrs. B. says
Janet, thank you for your comment!! I was just this morning driving myself crazy because I had forgotten a birthday idea for my son that flashed in my mind yesterday… and then I forgot what it was! Note to self: Always write things down immediately… And then I read your comment: YES, a fountain pen! That was the idea!! Thank you!!
My children love cursive: I just said that’s how adult write (even though it’s sadly not true in the US), and they took it as a kind of rite of passage, and they were very proud when they began to be able to use it exclusively. For us it was not a big struggle, not even for my left-handed girl – I’m very glad of that!
Ellen says
I read the small talk article and I think the guy is annoying. Though he’s probably grasping after something true. My working theories: 1. We don’t have the right to pry into someone’s deepest thoughts and feelings. 2. Small talk doesn’t have to be meaningless. 3. All conversation should be marked by charity and a real interest in the other as a person.
Deirdre says
I tend to think you’re right, Ellen. It does raise some interesting questions, though… 🙂 Thanks for weighing in!
Kimberlee says
Thanks for all of the wonderful links, as always! And thanks for linking to our calendar.
We have long enjoyed the Jake Weidmann video here too. Also excellent is the interview with Michael Sull on the iampeth website. It’s very interesting to hear him speak some of the history of handwriting in the US, and his obvious love of beauty is inspiring. It’s kind of amazing (in a bad way) how the ‘golden age of penmanship’ was such a short time ago in terms of years and how far we’ve come from those ideals of functional beauty in our culture.
Great articles on Finn and Rockwell and Little House too. (We recall often in my house that piece your mother wrote about Ma, parodying how a ‘modern’ parent would speak to Laura in a crisis. Cracks us up every time.) So much to love in Little House.
Enjoy your last few days before Lent!
Annalisa says
Wow! What beautiful photographs. My mother was born in that Hong Kong.
Margo, Thrift at Home says
Very interested in the article on how our housing choices affect friendships. I see the truth of the effort it takes to maintain my friendships! I do live in a small walkable city, but people still tend to be rather insular and I wish for more spontaneous interactions.
Deirdre says
There’s nothing like spontaneous interactions to life my day! It’s amazing how just a few caring words exchanged with a neighbor in passing make such a difference to the whole day…
Mrs. B. says
Deirdre, this reminded me that my favorite days are when all the neighbors are out shoveling snow together, helping each other (we have a shared driveway off a cul-the-sac). It is such a happy occasion, despite the hard work! Unfortunately not many neighbors have kids…
Stephanie says
I loved the information and discussions (here in the comments) on penmanship and cursive! If I may ask (just out of curiosity), was cursive taught in the Lawler homeschool? I recall Auntie Leila’s post on teaching writing, but not on handwriting – please forgive me if I’ve forgotten! I learned to write in France where, as Janet mentioned in the comments, we learn to write cursive first (and, well, exclusively) using fountain pens. While many of us as adults have handwriting that has evolved from the traditional/”proper” cursive formation, and in some cases that may be a cursive/manuscript hybrid, I think there are strong arguments for this method of teaching/learning handwriting. It’s always interesting, though, to see how it is taught in countries around the world; identifying individual countries’ “traditional” forms of cursive letter formation is neat too! 🙂
Leila says
Stephanie, in this post: http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2012/12/the-mechanics-of-writing-advent-style/
I talk about the mechanics of writing. I taught my children italics cursive for reasons I explain in the post.
I myself learned a traditional “Spencerian” way of cursive in school, but couldn’t find good materials for my children. In any case, I had switched over to an “italics” style when I was in high school, and had read about teaching that style to children. That’s what I went with.
logan says
Man that aside in the article about neighborhoods being inherently unsafe galled me. The thing is I don’t know when this turned into an “activist’ issue! I lived in the suburbs for part of my childhood before moving to a farm and but I still remember having tons of freedom to move around by myself, even as a young child! My sister and I would always go and play in the shallow creek two blocks away as young as five and six. I’m not that old?!! What’s going on? I feel like everything has turned upside down and I’m left wondering why I’m suddenly labeled (free range parent/ negligent parent–you pick) for wanting my kids to be normal.
Sometimes I wonder what’s up with Americans disliking children so much. I am booking an airB&B apt for my large family this summer in Italy. Every listing for these luxurious villas has: kids/families welcome! come, come, come! When I tried to find a place in LA a few years ago for similar levels of housing nobody would accept my reservation because we had children. I wrote requests to over ten places that just flat out turned me down with the apology “sorry not child proof.”
To that I respond “I tried to child proof my house, but they keep getting in!”
Beyond that, back to the article. I think that I’m not likely going to build a commune as my solution, but continue in the vein as the LMLDs propose with building up the community and culture where ever you are. I loved the cocoa party idea for that very reason; just get to know those people around you! People want to get together they just don’t know how!
Leila says
Logan, I’m with you. I sort of hate that giving children reasonable freedom has become a movement. Without a large enough concentration of moms staying home, people divide into two categories: a sort of activist mentality and a cowering fear.
I resent both!
But I have met and spoken to parents who simply will not let their children outside unless they are right there, hovering. Just too afraid…
Mary says
Auntie Leila, I have been wanting to ask you about this for some time! We live in a safe suburban neighborhood, on a cul-de-sac that is completely overridden with children, so we are of the happy minority that can allow their children to roam freely. My eldest three (7, 5, and 4) are allowed to go where they please, as long as they are outside and more or less within shouting distance, and the 2 year old can join if our 9 year old neighbor girl is with him. This is such a joy for all of us, and as I watch them (when they are within sight, or hear of their exploits later when beyond my sight) build forts in our backyard “woods” or play endless games of soccer or baseball, or just dig in the mud that we appear to be growing instead of grass, I think, “This is what childhood should look like!” I would love to hear from you lovely ladies about reasons this kind of free, unsupervised play is so good for children; I have been reflecting on this more of late, trying to articulate it for myself so that I can articulate it for others. The scope for the imagination, the development of virtues, the chance to interact without grown-ups, I tell myself, it is all so worth the very-reduced risk of serious accident occurring to them.
The biggest risk in our situation is that so much play with the neighbors can lead to some exposure to ideas and concepts that we would not have introduced or encouraged. My greatest fear is that they’ll pick up on sexual themes from them first. So far the boys (my 1st four are boys–baby is a girl) seem to be open and tell me when they are told something or encouraged to do something they know to be wrong. So I know that fostering this openness and trust with them is key. But it is still terrifying to me!
(ps: just want to thank you for this wonderful blog! I am constantly recommending it to friends, and though I don’t comment here–or anywhere for that matter–because I have too many other pressing matters to attend to, I so appreciate the work you do!)