What is this {pretty, happy, funny, real} you speak of?
~ {pretty, happy, funny, real} ~
Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~
Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!
Where to start, where to start.
First — a quick note. You know that I love the Ordinariate. I've been telling you about St. Gregory the Great and how coming up on Monday they will have a big Mass to celebrate the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter and the anniversary of the erection of the Ordinariate (click on the links to know what those things are). The Mass is at 7:30 p.m. here (near Boston).
I will be there and I will be so happy to meet up with you afterwards — do come say hi! I know that it's hard to go to an evening Mass on a weeknight, I know the kids need to go to bed, I know that it's a long shot — but if you are anywhere nearby, do come! If you are someone who's wondering if the Catholic Church is for you, come! Anglican, Episcopalian, any sort of Protestant, or anything else. I will be in the “Our Lady of Providence Hall” where there will be a reception after the Mass. It will be easy to find me. I'll be there to encourage young families to come see how beautiful this worship is.
I finished my wrist warmers the other day. The pattern is called “Onion Market” which I think is brilliant. How do people come up with these names? I would have called it “Round Lacy Thingies” or something.
If you are very knitting-savvy, you will note that I made some mistakes in between some of the round lacy thingies, but don't worry, I carefully replicated them on the other mitt so we're good.
If these look heavy to you, you are looking at them all wrong. They are light and fluffy — warm alpaca yarn of cloud-like softness making my wrists and the tops of my hands happy.
My notes are on my Ravelry page.
And now I am working on a shawl. It's also there on Ravelry, so take a peek. It's going to be like this shawl I made Habou, called Holden.
The other day Deirdre posted about her planner and how having a tidy desk and staying off of the internet until she has a plan are the benefit and secret, respectively, of her new regime for starting the year off right (and note that it's mid-February and we're still “starting the year off right” and probably will continue to do so right up until Thanksgiving).
Besides a tidy desk, she's finding room for creativity and recreation, which is so good. I've written about how important that is here. And here.
But right now, let's focus on the tidy desk idea!
Mine is a work in progress.
The desk is {pretty}, if shabby. The cords are {real}.
My plan (not going to happen, most likely) would be to put some fabric around my desk. Or maybe wait for all these things to become wireless?
The piles of envelopes are {funny (and real)} — on that little table is some wedding detritus of some daughters who will remain anonymous lest you judge their tidy desks by my untidy work area that is all their fault. I'm trying to move the things on out. They've made it from the corner to the table. We'll track their progress carefully…
I moved out all the books in this bookcase, as I told you before, and have been bringing in my books that I consult often or are just not of general interest to the rest of the household — but if they turn out to be, they are right here!
But I haven't organized them yet. They are just there, all random-like.
And I made more room for my cards, papers, and bills. Deirdre had said that her upright paper organizer was ending up as a vertical “stack” (until she deployed another system and some clothespins, smart!). Mine was similar. Just another place for papers to go and die. But I cleaned it out and at least the first slot really is “live bills,” even if the rest of it is somewhat backwater-ish. See my post-its back there? Handy.
The super beat-up stool under the desk is for me to rest my feet on when I've had it with sitting up at my desk. I tried a different desk chair and it was terrible. I'm not designed for sitting upright in chairs, really. I think I need a desk… hammock.
How about showing us your desk, tidy or otherwise? We'd love to see! Or anything, really!
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Julie says
If you find that desk hammock, please do post! I am in sore need of one myself. My desk is quite swampy right now and I am afraid to move anything for fear of alligators. With all of this inspiration though, I had better spend some time on it.
-Julie
GramiePamie says
Perhaps great minds could conspire to invent such a thing…a…demmock? A hammesk?
Leila says
Haha, GrammiePammie, you are a marketing genius.
Marcia says
I can get used to a hammock myself. Let’s get the productivity experts to do a study on that :-).
Chere Mama says
Being short, I have always had to have that stool under my desk. Yours has a lot of character. Sometimes mine was simply the plastic stool my kids used to reach the sink!! Your desk space looks busy and inspiring!!
kristina b says
You inspired me to clean up my desk (finally)! Your knitting is lovely and the flowers are beautiful – I love having fresh flowers in the house but it’s a rare and special occurrence 🙂
Leila says
Same here, Kristina — we were having company so I sprang for the $5 tulips. And I am glad I did!
Tyna Begley says
The blue of that shawl-to-be is lovely. Does it also have some lovely, romantic name?
Leila says
Yes! It’s called “blue-green” — haha, no seriously, I looked up the number and that’s what it’s called.
Mrs. B. says
I hate cords, too: so unsightly, and they trap dust bunnies like crazy! I try to keep them as short as possible by rolling them and using a twist tie, but they are still there…
Beautiful wrist warmers, Leila: the softness is so obvious! The blue yarn is also very beautiful: would you mind telling me the name and color? I imagine it’s wool? I am looking for a dusty blue to knit a couple of pillow covers. Someone should have told me how addictive knitting is, and how terrible it is that a million ideas will come to your mind, even as you are working on something already! This week my {happy} and {pretty} is that I’ve started a lace scarf for my daughter: I found a free pattern with tutorials that even a super-beginner like me could follow, and it makes me so happy! I’m using needles I already had and yarn my sister gave me, so I feel all thrifty too 🙂 Next, I want to tackle cabling with those pillow covers!
Leila says
Mrs. B, the info is on my Ravelry, but that yarn apparently is discontinued. It’s Frogtree Pediboo sock yarn color # 1164 which has the whimsical name “Blue-green.”
I know. Knitting and crafting in general is very much a dreamer’s pursuit!
My tip re: lace: try to figure out how things line up row to row, usually around a “purl” pair or an anchor knit stitch. Use plenty of stitch markers. Count your stitches as you go! If your count is off, go back and figure out why…
Leila says
It is mostly wool: 80% wool, 20% bamboo.
Mrs. B. says
Thank you for the info and the tip! I actually don’t have stitch markers, I’m such a beginner that all my supplies amount to bamboo needles size 8 and yarn I received: but when I found the pattern (which of course recommends markers) I just had to start it right away, and now I find I’m doing well even without markers. I guess the pattern is easy enough, and it helps that the tutorial is made really well (it’s this one: https://blog.tincanknits.com/2014/06/06/lets-knit-lace/).
Amy says
I have always kept the things that should go in and on a desk on top of my kitchen counter because the kitchen is where I spend most of the day homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry (my washer and drye are in the kitchen). I can’t stand the thought of putting my desk things in a different room because my “command center” is the kitchen….but I am often so frustrated with the mess it all makes on my kitchen counter. I have no system for filing things or putting things inappropriate places. Today’s post, as well as your daughter’s post about her desk have inspired me to think creatively about what can be done about this. I do have a desk in my bedroom, but part of the issue with using it right now is that I have a toddler who is a master desk emptier. Until we get that under control, I don’t want to put any effort into using that.
Your wrist warmers look lovely and warm!
Ginger says
You are a gem. I use an auxiliary computer speaker for my stool. It is alctually off to the side, so I can really stretch out. I have a high backed office chair, and the area that hits my neck and lower head area so you can visualize when I recline it is a hammock effect. Hence why I spend way to much time in front of my computer. I have thought that I should get a hard chair with no back so I am not quite so comfortable.
I am going to use Diedra’s planner to the T. It will work great since I really like pad and paper over digital, however need something that isn’t so exhaustive that I can’t put it in my digital calendar, where I am trying to sync all my comings and goings of the household and utilize the timer/alarm as a reminder to move onto the next thing.
I like that your desk appears to be in a central area in your home. Is that true? Mine is an a perfectly splendid first floor room, with a love seat and all my books and stuff. The loveseat folds out into a twin bed (it’s our guest room when needed) and directly across the double doors is a full bathroom. If I moved a small coffee pot in here like you have in those hotel room, and a small refrigerator I may never leave. Sigh.
I have been watch the focus and align on RAR with Sarah McKenzie. Just last night. She says, it may be as simple as moving your desk into another room that creates that positive change to your home school environment. Your Picture was such a timely illustration of her idea.
Love the wrist warmers. I may make some for my 8 year old daughter that likes to have her wrists cozy in regardless of weather. She usually just stretches out the poor arms of her long sleeve knit shirts. I am glad yours don’t have that middle finger, or thumb extension. I hate that feeling of things between my fingers….except of course for my lovely wedding and engagement rings.
Are you mourning Justice Scalia’s Death. His funeral is tomorrow. His has quite the biography.
Have a blessed day,
Ginger
Leila says
Ginger, yes, my desk is in the den. I too like to be in the midst of things. I also have a large pantry off the kitchen, and I used to have my desk in there, but it’s way too cold. But I do still have my sewing in there (it’s not the same — when you sew you are moving constantly, but at the computer, your right hand gets so cold!).
There are simpler wrist warmers that you could whip up quickly for your daughter, and you could even use some socks that have outlived their toes or the sleeves of old sweaters! I’ve done the latter.
b says
Some people like to use a exercise ball in a stand as a desk chair, or to convert to a standing desk instead of a sitting one. It’s important to check the ergonomics of any chair to make sure that it fits your body correctly – a lot of them do adjust but it’s not always enough.
The closest I’ve ever seen to a hammock chair is this type of ceiling mounted seat – http://www.amazon.com/Club-Fun-Hanging-Chair-Linda/dp/B008L9Z5E8
Ruth says
I actually use an exercise ball as my desk chair (with no stand), both in my office and at home. It has helped my back immensely, and it means that my feet don’t swell when I have to sit at my desk for long periods.
I’m with Amy in that I don’t really use my desk as a desk, so I tend to collect stacks of papers all over my house (kitchen, living room, AND bedroom). I actually need to clean out my filing cabinet before I can file anything else in there.
I’m still trying to figure out the best way to organize myself. I already make to do lists, and have played around with bullet journals, but have yet to find something that I can stick with for the long haul.
Adele says
I’m strange in that I refuse to sit in chairs properly (probably due to really short legs) and always sit cross legged. I have a small narrow side table that my husband shortened to the proper height and put a cushion on. I believe they even make contoured stools but I’m not that fancy. I used an exercise ball for a long time too but with so many littles running around they have proved hazardous toys and so have been banished.
Woman of the House says
The tulips are a breath of fresh air! So lovely! I love the wrist warmers too!
Rebecca says
It has been a long time since I visited you all- I dwindled my blog feed in order to have less computer time (wise) but have missed you! I recently found a podcast of yours on ED SNAPSHOTS and thought- I recognize that face! Is that Leila?!? Sure enough. It was a pleasure to listen to you-and you also have a very kind, soothing voice. I’ve always wanted one of those. I digress.
I have a question for you if you don’t mind me asking. I have come upon a new and unexpected season in my life… though the unexpected part was silly and naive, upon reflection. I am homeschooling my children so they are here with me every.single.day and I take them with me every.where.I.go. And when they were little, it wasn’t so big a deal because little people are generally uninterested in grown-up people so far as they feel secure. But now, my ‘littles’ have turned into ‘biggles’-my eldest daughter being 12 years old- and they (she, in particular) are always around and listening to my conversations. There are times when I just want to have adult conversations with my Mom, my husband, my sister or friends without my children hearing. There are times when topics of conversation turn to things unnecessary for my children to listen to and we cannot be as free in our conversations knowing about listening ears and all that.
Along those same lines- there are times when I feel I just would like to be alone-it never happens. Or alone with my husband, without listening ears and voices vying for his attentions. Sometimes I want us to focus on one another and be able to have private conversations about private topics. Just the two of us.
Whenever I say things like this, my older children get all forlorn and woe is me and feel quite offended about it. My mother invited me to go along to meet with an old family friend who is quite old and failing and she mentioned it being a ‘girls trip’- just the two of us. Of course, my daughter was totally offended. First that she wasn’t invited because she is a ‘girl’ and second, that I would need time away from them. They have mentioned that I don’t like spending time with them or that I don’t think they are as grown up as they think they are. 😉
I do understand and even remember that feeling of being too old to be a youngster and too young to be an adult. It is a trying time. But as I went to public school, I was away from my parents most of each day and shuffled into peer groups so it was never an issue for me (or my parents). As a mother, I want to encourage their stepping into young adulthood with great conversations and attention but I want there to be a balance. As a homeschooling mother- I wonder if that is even possible.
How do you deal appropriately with children being always around and always interested in participating in adult conversations even when they are not meant to be a part of them? How do you eek out alone time for yourself (is that a modern lie women tell themselves? It doesn’t feel like it…) or for your marriage with teenagers always around? And how do you go about getting these things without offending or hurting your children?
Clearly, you succeeded in that department as you and your children have quite good relationships (as is evidenced by this blog) and you survived preteen/teenage years still a sane woman.
I’d love your thoughts. Thank you!
Jennie Cooper says
I’m not Leila, but I am navigating the teen years, too, as well as still having little ones (my eldest is nearly 20, and our ninth child is due in April). Teens are demanding! They ARE adults, and they need to hear and be part of adult conversations, and it is extremely difficult to carve out quiet time when they don’t take naps anymore and always want to hang around with you. There’s a certain Dying To Self in these years, I think, because they need our example and our wisdom more than ever, but I’m also a firm believer in bedtime. Even for the big kids. Here, they’re all in bed by 8 or 8:30. Not sleeping, mind you, but in their rooms, which gives us parents some time to be together without them, or me some time for a relaxing bubble bath. 🙂 As for going out occasionally without them, when the situation is appropriate, I just smile and say, “I’ll be back soon! You can watch a movie while I’m gone.” Unless afternoon films aren’t treats in your house; then you’ll have to think of something else. Spin it. Make that negative (being left behind) into a positive (fun while mom’s away!)
Leila says
Dear Rebecca,
Your question is a little involved for the comments section (I really feel a post coming on!), but the short version is to approach this time with real delicacy. Your daughter needs to be with you — and you need your time with friends and husband too.
The solution is something that you will have to figure out, but it will involve being very kind and allowing her “quality time” with grownups, and also firmly steering her towards time with her own friends or a good book while you devote yourself to your hostess duties or to your husband.
The important thing is not to put it in terms of “I need this time” or “you can’t come” but more to convey, “this is how it is.” “Here’s what we are doing.” Firmly and kindly.
It’s so good for her to be with you in adult conversations — for a while. And it’s so good for her to be told, “We are having mom & dad time now, so you and [next youngest child] go make popcorn and get your books and settle down in the other room — or head up to bed.”
In a little while, the “givenness” of it will sink in, and with understanding from you, it will all work out, you will see.
Jennie Cooper says
Something I was wondering about in the middle of the night, Leila: I notice your desk, and many others, are entirely taken up by the computer. So where do you do your physical writing at? There’s no place to set down a journal or planner there. Also, there is not much room between the keyboard and the edge of the desk, and so no place to rest your arms while typing. Is that not uncomfortable if you have more than a few minutes worth of typing to do? I should probably not be thinking about these things in the wee hours, but I can’t sleep well at this stage of pregnancy anyway. 🙂 Now, I’m going to take a nap while awaiting your reply!
Sara says
I got a cheap little thing at Home Depot for the cords—It’s like an old, coiled telephone cord, except it’s of flat plastic. You just coil it around all those cords and it holds them all together. You can even let one out, so to speak, if it needs to go toward a different plug. It’s not home-decor-blogger-worthy, but it made a big difference in my cords! My “desk” is a dinner table against the wall, so cords definitely show. Oh, I blogged it! Assuming I can’t post a link, it’s the post from August 25, 2015 “Office Updates”.
Kimberlee says
Lovely mitts, and I also really like that fabric they are resting on. Onion market is a clever name but not entirely appealing. 😉 The blue yarn is really lovely too.
Your desk seems almost too pretty to cover up with fabric. Maybe one of the other wise ladies will help with the cord issue. One question about the ‘wedding detritus’ – where does it Go? It must be important if it is still around, but you want to get it out of there…do you have a Plan for storing these types of thing? I never know what to do with stuff like that – you might want to keep it, but it doesn’t really go in a file…
Leila says
Kimberlee — the wedding detritus goes to the bride!! That is why it’s there, “on its way out” — only, I forgot to take the stack to Deirdre’s when I went on Thursday, gr.
There is no other Plan. That is the Plan. Now to execute…
(my advice to her would be to pitch it!)
Jenny says
Your knitting is lovely. I can see where the name for the pattern came from, but I could never come up with a name like that myself.
Lindsey Gallant says
I love to see how others organize! It’s inspiring. Knowing this particular {phfr} was coming up gave me the impetus I needed to finish sorting my little space. It’s still a work in progress – specifically the location of my “everyday desk” and my paper system in general. I’m experimenting with a stand-up workstation in the pantry between my kitchen and dining room. Central, yet slightly out of the way. So far it seems to be working!
Tina says
So excited to participate in my first {p,h,f,r}: It motivated me to actually *use* my desk this week instead of writing in the living room or bedroom. Love to see where others write and economize (a.k.a. rule and order our households!).