{This is the fourth of my “teaching children to read” posts. First are Making Sure Your Child Can Read and Write, Are You Making Reading Too Complicated?, and What You Need to Teach a Child to Read. After this post comes What You Need to Teach a Child to Read Part II and Reading, Part III.}
This book was published in 1947, obviously as a reader. But it doesn't try to do everything. It's simple and delightful. |
I have a little message for you if you are anything like me, and wake up some mornings determined to let your children lead the way to what interests them, and other mornings acting like Tiger Mom on a bender.
Know what I mean?
Some days you so see the wisdom of letting the child unfold like a delicate flower, and the rest of the time you are reacting to snippets of overheard conversations at the home schooling meeting (or PTA) —you know the ones I mean — where the other moms are comparing notes on the turbo-charged tutorials they've enrolled their three-year-olds in to get them prepped for the writing portion of the SATs.
So I just have to say, take a deep breath and know that it's normal to have a very young child who wants to learn to read, and you should think deeply and clearly about how to facilitate the process of teaching him (often her, though…). You should know what you think about teaching reading — and by that I mean, in the most humble way possible, be patient and read my posts. I'm not an expert but I have been through it and maybe some books I've read can help you.
Also know that it's normal for a child to take longer than appears strictly necessary, when going by school standards (which, remember, are based on an average, which means not any one particular child). He (usually he…) doesn't get the hang of it until age 8 or 9, sometimes even later.
If the child who isn't ready to read is at school, you have a real challenge to protect him from being labeled and made to feel dumb. It's your job to advocate for him though, and armed with the understanding of the difference between the individual and the aggregate, which is all the difference in the world, you can do it with peace.
You should know what you think about this so that the other Tiger Moms don't get you down, or you don't get yourself down on a day when you're feeling like a failure. And so that school officials don't railroad you into bad decisions.
I'm not an expert and I'm not particularly up on what's current this moment because I did my reading in the last millennium. However, I'm affirmed when I do glance at the latest research, because it seems like things are getting less clearly expressed as time goes on — that there's more reacting to anxiety that builds on itself, rather than returning to human nature as it always has been and always will be.
A book that stands the test of time in terms of readability and common sense is this one:
Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.
If you are getting an anxiety attack about a child of yours who seems resistant to reading, take a little break and read this book. You can probably request it at the library.
While you're at it get the Moores' excellent book, Home School Burnout: What It Is. What Causes It. And How to Overcome It.
Common sense, common sense….
{Next in this series: Part II of Teaching your child to read.}
Kathy says
I can't see the recommended book! I'm a little ways off from needing your reading recommendations, but I appreciate the reminder that nursery rhymes, etc. are Good and Useful. I often feel somewhat silly, singing to my son who couldn't care less.
_Leila says
Kathy, I put in another link which I hope you can see.
Remember, one of my rules is “don't expect affirmation from your kids”!
Just do things naturally and in the end they will remember and benefit.
Camille says
This past Fall I decided that I would start a letter a day curriculum with my 4 year old. She couldn't recognize any letters when I asked and I had decided it was time. After 2 weeks of fighting her, I gave up and stopped.
Christmas morning that same 4 year old was sitting at the table enjoying a new art box. Imagine my surprise when she handed me a piece of paper with glitter glue art… and HER NAME!! She wrote it all by herself! I burst in to tears! LOL I had no idea she knew any letters, much less her name or that she could write it!
Kate says
Andrew Pudewa from IEW has some interesting “Thought on Dsyslexia” (I received it in a email, but I thing you can access it on his site). He mentions problems labeled as “dyslexia” which aren't, and what the probable cause of the “problem” is. He wrote that one of the biggest problems in schools to accepting and dealing with different levels of reading readiness is standardized tests. You can't do them unless you can read and if you can't do standardized tests, what's the point of school?
JaneC says
Actually there are some kinds of standardized tests that don't require reading, but they are usually specialized tests not administered to all children, such as English proficiency tests for young nonnative speakers.
It is true, though, that different levels in a classroom are a challenge, and not a challenge limited to grade school. It's a problem all the way through graduate school!
Anitra says
I'm so distracted by that lovely book! We actually have it combined in one volume with another of Grace Skaar's books “All About Dogs, Dogs, Dogs”. It was my daughter's favorite book at 18 months old, probably because of the simplicity. It jump-started her on learning letters, too – that MEOW is so big and bold (and BOW-WOW in the dog portion); she loved turning the book over and watching the “M” become a “W” (and vice-versa).
But thanks for the reminder, too. My daughter is almost 3 now, and it seems like she has been able to identify letters for SO LONG that we are impatient for her to move on (e.g. phonemes, attempting to write). I remind myself that after learning letters, she learned numbers, colors, how to count, the _meaning_ of numbers, and a host of less scholastic skills. She'll get to the next steps of reading when she's ready.
Ginger says
BREATH……Ah!!!!!!! Now I feel more relaxed. What a wonderful post to ease the anxieties of those of us
just beginning our exciting and daunting journey of educating our children. Did I just say beginning? Didn't I have my first child five years ago? Why is it that I always tend to think that I haven't begun the process of home education until I am sitting with a child to either side with a boring old text book on my lap and a ruler in hand?
Anyhoo, I am so incredibly excited to be at the precipice of my child beginning to read…..Oh what stories we
will cover together, while the time is quickly passing and he is too big to sit on my lap comfortably. I pray for
wisdom to really be present and enjoy this adventure of training up my children. Children are a blessing!
May God Continue to Bless you and yours,
Ginger
Anne says
that book is so cute, and those cute, little kittens remind me of sukie. i think she must have internalized this book.
Marianna says
I'm a firm believer in the better late than early philosophy. However, as the mother of a dyslexic child, I do urge parents to trust their guts if they are really concerned about their child. I'm not advocating that everyone who has a child not reading by five rush off to the dr. However if by seven or eight your child is unable to sound out phonetically even the simplest of words or recognize very basic sight words, I urge you to take a moment to check out a reliable website (interdys.org is a good one) and review a list of dyslexic characteristics. Dyslexia is much more complicated than reversing letters!
FWIW, I agree with Kate that dyslexia is currently being over-diagnosed in public schools. Many first graders simply aren't ready to read, and schools have a difficult time with this. They automatically assume there is a “problem” when the only “problem” is lack of readiness.
Jennifer says
My issue, quite frankly, is that the school will not rx a reading problem with “dyslexia” but with the generic “non-specific learning disability”. So what does that mean? All I know, is that I have had two children that did not read, did not recognize basic sight words (at 7) and could not phonetically break down words, this, despite, 2 years of preschool, academic kindergarten, spending money for tutors, reading to them every night. It's frustrating to say the least. Maybe in your public school, dyslexia is overly diagnosed. It's not where I live in NJ.
Marianna says
Jennifer, I hope you will read this. Please contact me at my blog if you do. ” target=”_blank”>http://www.cardinalacre.blogspot.com I toatlly share your frustration. I said the exact same thing you did when my son was in K and 1st grade. I read to him every night from the time he could hold his head up. We strictly limited media in our home. The library was a second home. He was (is) smart. Essentially we had done everything right and simply could not understand why he couldn't remember the word 'the' from one day to the next, never mind sound out words like 'park' or 'dog' etc.
My comment about over-diagnosis is based on our experiences in Texas, one of only two states that mandates dyslexia screening for struggling readers in public schools. This can be a double-edged sword in that the screening is not comprehensive, and therefore open to misdiagnosis. However, for us it was a blessing in that we finally had answers for the struggles my son endured in k-2 (we moved to Texas at the beginning of his 3rd grade year.)
Ona says
I love your blog, so interesting & so uplifting! Tho I'm not a Catholic (yet), I am seriously considering converting. I'd love to have your recommendation on which Bible translation to buy. And I'd love to read about your conversion story! Thanks for all you & your daughters work here, you're a blessing.
_Leila says
Dear Ona, thank you! I recommend the Ignatius Bible. You can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/Ignatius-Bible-Revised-Stan…
There is a study edition as well.
Someday I'll tell my conversion story! Thanks for asking!
Ona says
Thanks Leila, I'm off to order it!