I hope so! I hope you were at least a little surprised at what your family came up with. Why don't you share some of the things that made you think in the comments? I'd love to hear from you — it would make my day!
The next step isn't maybe what you are thinking.
The next step is to get these menus sorted out into “Cheap” and “Not cheap”. Worksheet II will explain it to you if you'd like more information — and there are examples.
Simply think about what you would make if you had very little money to spend, and put those menus in one list. Think about what's more elegant, special, and expensive, and put those in another list. It helps to do it in a Word document and to be able to shuffle them around.
While we're thinking about how important these menus are to your life, let's just say a few words about eating out, and why your menus need to include things you would normally order in a restaurant.
Eating out (all the time, I mean) is…well, it's sort of a snare and a delusion. You think that you can afford it, but that's because you don't put it in your grocery budget. If you did, you'd be appalled.
If you charge your meals, you are probably paying for things you ate years ago! At normal credit card interest rates, if you carry a balance on your credit card, you might be paying many times what the meal originally cost you. Eating out has ruined many a family's finances. At least if you charge a chair, it isn't gone the next day!
Yet there's something so enticing about being enveloped in the warm, cozy, food-swathed environment of the restaurant. Something so appealing about letting the kids choose what they want. Something so comforting about not having to think about cooking. It makes you so happy…
But think of what you are missing. Let's leave aside the money issue. Let's even leave aside the health issue, which I think is huge. Let's only look at what we are missing when we don't interact on a daily basis at home.
Kids need to be served balanced, nutritious meals that they basically have to eat without complaining. They shouldn't have choices at a particular meal (you've already asked them their favorite menus, right? Enough!). The discipline of eating what's set before you turns your mind to other, more important issues.
Soon the whole family is discussing matters of consequence or laughing over common experiences. Soon the family is interacting and getting to know each other (including getting to know their mother and father!), which means putting up with each other. Soon the family is making decisions together and building a life together. These are priceless times, incredibly formative, and all too fleeting — and a whole lot of them happen at the dinner table.
Someone — and that someone is YOU — has to make that all happen, and that means staying out of eateries unless the trip is planned, affordable, and all the more enjoyable.
You know what? I found out I could make cheese steaks (one of my favorite eat-out choices)! Guacamole! Bread sticks! Onion rings (using the deep fryer I got at a yard sale for 75 cents!) I found out my kids love my pizza! I even made a creditable stab at the eggplant salad we had at the divine La La Rokh in Boston.
We don't need no stinkin' restaurants to be happy. We will enjoy these things if we do go out, but as long as I plan well, we can also be happy right here at home!
Don't forget to tell me what you found out!
Suki says
Well Mom, I've seen your binder and menu plans many a time, and I think the master list is just brilliant. Cooking is great, but thinking of things to cook is such a drag. I don't have a list of my own, so when I try to think of a meal I always try to imagine your list in my head. (I guess maybe I could start my own list even though I'm not in charge of a household yet!)
Meredith@MerchantShi says
I think you are my new favorite blog! Love everything you are sharing here.
Anonymous says
I'm here after clicking on the link on Meredith's blog! I love what I am reading, and I will be back! Eating out is a BIG problem for our family because we live about a *million* miles away from EVERYTHING ( our town is a teeny-tiny speck on the map, and there's literally nothing here)! Almost any trip to get something inevitably requires an eating out expedition, and the money we are spending on that is killing us. I hope you'll talk about this whole subject more, because it's a real problem for a lot of families. Susan
Ali says
I am loving this series! Awesome blog, ladies! 🙂
Crystal says
I'm always on the lookout for new meal planning ideas and frugal blogs. Found you from a link on Meredith's blog. Thanks
Lindsey in AL says
Well, my kids weren't terribly helpful with their favorite meals (I should have done it before breakfast instead of right after) The 3 year-old had 3 ideas, the 5 year old had 2 and the 7 year old had 8 or 10 (some of his I wouldn't have thought of, especially from him). We were able to come up with seventy (yes 7 times 10!!) dinner meal ideas. I have done meal planning off and on for years (about 8 now) and I have saved menu calendars sporadically, so I was able to go through those old menus and see what we've been eating (or not been eating lately) and I see that we've been eating pretty much the same 25 things or so for the last near-decade. We may be on the verge of a major financial re-shaping so this exercise is very timely. Now I am off to mark those meal ideas as "cheap" or "not so cheap" and work on the rest of the week's menu.Thanks for the kick in the pants! I am really enjoying your blog. I just clicked over from Meredith's Like Merchant Ships- she always has the best blog recs!
lizzie says
I love this blog – got here via Merchant Ships – such good intelligent advice – and such a change from some frugal blogs that are liberally sprinkled with kitchen tab les loaded with unnessary,and in some cases harmful stuff from CVS and Walgreens, ditch the coupons and spend the time learning to be really frugal and learning to cook properly – fast food is unhealthy, loaded with fat and salt and other additives-read Fast Food Nation – would anyone want to go into a fast food joint after that. I too live way out of town – always eat at home although I have been known to take picnics and never drive out without water and decent snacks(apple and banana and small bag of almonds. It is a question of thoughtful planning. Many times the problem lies in the fact that the adults in the family grew up on fast food.All these things take time and effort so turn off the tube – get out your pencils and paper and make a plan.
Anonymous says
Not to start a war on your comments section, but I feel that I must respond to Lizzie's comments. Not everyone who eats out a lot grew up with fast food, nor are they lazy boobs who cannot pull themselves away from the boob tube. I have FIVE children that are with me ALL the time, we drive a MINIMUM of 45 minutes to get anywhere, and weather in the Midwest frequently precludes anyone having a "picnic" of any sort….today's high, for example, is expected to be 1 degree Farenheit, with a windchill of about 25 degress below zero. I had a mother who did a wonderful job feeding her children in a nutritous and healthy way, and I am trying to do the same with my family. You should not assume, Lizzie, that your situation mirrors that of everyone else. If you had to drive as far as we do, and then had many things to accomplish once you were there, chances are good that your children would get hungry and that you would find it difficult to always bring along food that warms and satisfies. (Cold sandwiches kinda lose their appeal in sub-zero weather, eaten in a cold vehicle.) If you want to blame anyone, lay the blame at the choices American consumers, Government, and businesses have made that have killed just about every business except for Walmart, and drained the financial life out of small communities all across the US. Please don't, however, lay the blame at the feet of moms doing the bset they can with the circumstances presented to them! Susan
Leila says
Susan — thanks so much for your kind comments — I love hearing from you!I think there are strategies for what you describe, and that situation definitely merits a spot in the budget! It's what my husband calls "The cost of doing business" and as such, completely justifiable.Lizzie, our society as a whole does rely, unthinkingly, too much on fast food, and here at Like Mother, Like Daughter we are doing our best to rectify that, one post at a time…I'm loving all the great feedback — thanks so much for visiting!
Catherine says
Here, here!!!! I agree wholeheartedly about everything in this post! (Oh, and I found you from Meredith's link over at her Like Merchant Ships blog…)
Karilee says
Wow! What a great post! I have planned menus for years and have sort of gotten out of the habit. I know that I'm always much more successful in feeding my family when I've premeditated what we're going to eat. Shopping by the seat of your pants never works very well, especially since that's where your wallet is kept. 🙂 I, like many others here just found your blog and will be back again and again. Thanks for your great ideas
Pippajo says
I'll never forget when I took a good look at how often we were eating out and the shock I felt when I realized what it was doing to our family! It was killing us!I grew up with a mother who LOVES eating out–LOVES it! When I was a kid, we went out for brunch every Sunday after church. Mom hated menu planning, always thought things up on the fly, made a lot of things over and over and never made breakfast or lunch. Meals were no fun at our house unless we had company. THEN, Mom went all out and dinner was a delight! I think this makes me sound like I had a bad Mom, but I didn't. She just had not much of a clue when it came to meal planning.ANYWAY, so I have had to forge my own way with meal planning! I sit down with the weekly circulars, find out what's on sale, go through my supplies and see what I have on hand, then make my menu and grocery list from there. Mom thinks this is silly. But then, she literally NEVER cooks anymore and she and my father have a TERRIBLE diet now! I was even cooking two or three meals a week for them a while back just so they could get a few decent meals a week.I tried the asking my family what they like thing and found that they like a lot of white trash crap despite my best efforts otherwise! It didn't go all that well: for some reason they get really antsy whenever I ask for input from them for the menu. But I am not giving up. I will have a master list, and soon!
Mother Hen says
I got here from Meredith too! You are my new fav blog. Love your posts. Love your friendly tone. Love it all. Keep it up!
Kimarie @ Cardamom&# says
This is great, again! My husband had me do this a few years ago, and again a few months ago. I saved all the papers, and I'm going to dig them out right now. I have most of the work done for me! I appreciate some of the questions like what they liked from other friend's houses, and what do they like to order from restaurants. This is going to work. 🙂
Marcy says
I just found your blog and am devouring it as I have a bit of time each day. We're beginning a new schedule in our home after 7 years of my husband working irregular shifts at odd hours. On Monday, I woke up with God whispering this question to me…What are the two things you could do that would make a huge difference in the climate of this home…..I easily (after years of struggling) came up with the idea of being proactive regarding our evening meals and our laundry. I've run a reactive household for a very long time. Monday evening I popped over to your site via The Nester. Your words confirmed what God put in my heart. I'm happy to share that my household has been much more pleasant in the last four days. Thank you from my weepy eyes to the shadowed places in my heart for sharing what you've learned over the years and shedding light into my life. Your encouragement and ministry are ordained by the Creator of Peace Himself.Marcy
Sarah says
I know I'm way behind the times, but I'm just now putting together a menu book for my family. Do you keep recipes in the book as well, or is it enough to note where to find the recipe?Thanks,Sarah
Leila says
Yes, Sarah, that is my recipe binder — the collection of recipes that really work — my own and others'. I don't put much in there unless it's tried and true.There are dividers (for main meals, apps, desserts, bread, condiments), and in the front is where I keep my menus and lists, such as "cheap menus." It's all very informal — don't sweat it. Just make a list and shove it in. Sometimes I have made a great "company menu" and kept it for inspiration — it goes in scribbled just the way I first did it!
T.L. says
Love this!I have been doing menu planning for a while, but it didn't really work so well. I was trying too hard to fit in a budget that was too tight, with a husband who is a foodie. Anyway we are going to up the budget a bit and work on better menus. The family brainstorming sounds like a good idea.